Training on the edge: Reflections on the impact of a close-to-death experience whilst training to become a music therapist

Abstract

This article describes the author’s experience of undergoing a close-to-death incident during the first term of training to become a music therapist, and the ways in which the impact of almost dying and the personal transformation prompted by the training course affected each other. The author asserts that the inevitable existential reflection and learning following the period of sudden illness was greatly enhanced by several aspects of the training course; most notably – the containment of the cohort and experiential group, the infant observation module and the clinical placement undertaken in her second year when working with a client with suicidal ideation. The awareness of death that was afforded through the illness is described as enhancing the trainee therapist’s skills, empathy and understanding in being able to withstand the fear of the unknown when working with death. The author concludes by acknowledging that, in writing this article, she has been able to reach a place of acceptance and to fully appreciate the personal and professional transformation that was gleaned through this formative and frightening period.