Stories of absence: Experiences of parental and familial rejection among gender-diverse children and young people

Abstract

Previous research has demonstrated the positive associations with parental support with better mental health outcomes in gender-diverse young people. However, less is known about what happens within a family structure if an unsupportive parent or family member leaves the family unit and sees the child only on the condition that they present in a way that conforms to their birth gender. This paper will focus on the first interviews with nine families within the wider sample of 39 families in the LOGIC-Q (Longitudinal Outcomes of Gender Identity in Children – qualitative) study who reported they had experienced rejection by a parent or family member after the young person had disclosed their gender non-conformity. These families’ narratives are examined through two themes: How rejection impacts visitation, and Moving past the loss of rejection. The families all spoke about how they had adapted to the loss of their family members. They described how any negative impact would have been worse had they stayed living together, or were in contact with, the rejecting family member. Here, it becomes important then to understand the context of why a gender-diverse young person may choose to no longer see a parent or family member.

Plain language summary

Young people who feel that their gender identity does not align with the gender they were assigned at birth can be described as gender non-conforming. Previous research has shown us that gender-non-conforming young people have better mental health when their parents are supportive. However, not all parents and family members accept when a young person discloses that they are gender non-conforming, and will refuse contact with the young person as a result. We know less about how this impacts the young person and the remaining family members as a whole. Out of the 39 families who took part in the LOGIC-Q (Longitudinal Outcomes of Gender Identity in Children – qualitative) study, nine families had experienced a parent or other family member refuse contact unless the child started behaving in a way they felt conformed more in-line with the child’s birth gender. We read through their interviews several times and two common experiences became clear: 1. A parent or family member’s rejection of the young person impacted if and when they saw them, and 2. The young person and remaining family members experienced loss and had to find ways to cope this this. When talking about how they adapted to the loss of their family members, the families all spoke about how they realised there would have been greater negative impacts on the young person if the family had remained living together. Understanding the individual experiences of the young person and remaining family members is therefore important to ensure the young person’s continued wellbeing.