Coping strategies and social representations of bullies among bullying victims from individualistic and collectivist societies

Abstract

The effects bullying has on victims’ mental, emotional, and physical well-being depend on the coping strategies applied. As coping can be influenced by the environment in which it occurs, scholars have started to explore differences in coping across cultural contexts. However, qualitative research on the role of culture in coping with bullying victimization and social representations of bullies remains scarce. This study compares the coping strategies of US and Thai students with help of 28 in-depth interviews and 60 autobiographical written reflections. Findings revealed several differences in coping across groups. Thai students often tried to stay connected with the bully and felt guilty expressing anger. They assigned less responsibility and intention to the bully. This was only the case among US students if the bully was young. While Thai students laughed along to fit in, US students laughed off bullies to demonstrate that they did not care. Thai students regularly blamed themselves and tried to adapt their appearance and behavior. Whereas US students stressed how bullying helped them to become more resilient, Thai students highlighted increased tolerance. The possible role of culture in coping with bullying victimization, particularly of collectivist and individualistic cultural value orientations, as well as the role of social representations of bullies, is being discussed.

Scholars have referred to bullying as repetitive and intentional aggressive behavior of physical, verbal, or relational nature, characterized by an imbalance of physical or social power between the bully and the victim (Olweus, 1996). Bullying victimization has been associated with several negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, violent behaviors, lower performance at school, and suicidal attempts (Falb et al., 2011; Benatov et al., 2020; Mills et al., 2004; Ttofi et al., 2014). Perceptions of bullying victimization can influence how victims cope. Coping can be understood as the cognitive and/or behavioral effort to manage external and/or internal demands as to prevent, avoid, or control emotional stress (Lazarus, 2006; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).

The Transactional Model of Stress and Coping (TMSC; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984) argues that we adopt either problem-focused coping (trying to alter the situation or mitigating its effects with help of concrete actions), avoidant coping (distancing ourselves physically or cognitively from the situation), or emotion-focused coping (trying to change how we feel about the situation). Other scholars have distinguished between approach or avoidance strategies (Roth & Cohen, 1986) as well as active and passive coping (Billings & Moos, 1981). A recent study (Benatov et al., 2020) assessed 4254 victimized students from 11 European countries and found a positive relationship between avoidant strategies and depression as well as suicidal ideation. Seeking social support, on the other hand, reduced negative effects. Avoidance and other passive coping strategies can be further harmful as they can make bullying and its consequences less visible and therefore more likely to persist (Tenenbaum et al., 2011).

Scholars have highlighted that the choice of coping strategies, such as avoidant coping, can be influenced by situation-specific appraisals, which require thorough investigation (Lazarus, 2006). Aldwins’ sociocultural model of coping (2007) shows how the cultural context can influence the type of stressor, how the stressor is perceived as well as the degree of perceived stress. For example, avoiding to confront the bully could be influenced by cultural values of conflict avoidance, by collectivist values to maintain social harmony as well as by values of power distance, particularly if the bully is older (Hofstede, 2001). While scholars have stressed the importance of the country and cultural context, studies on coping with bullying victimization are mostly of quantitative nature and have neglected to compare coping strategies across countries within one study (Heppner, 2008; Hu et al., 2018). Furthermore, social representations of the bully can influence whether victims approach the bully. A study (Mahidol University, Plan International Thailand, & UNESCO Bangkok Office, 2014) conducted among Thai students identified a high prevalence of LGBT bullying in Thailand. It was highlighted that Thai students while reporting hurt feelings, tended to accept the bully if the intention of the bully was perceived as positive. Social representations of the bully and intention could be influenced by values such as conflict avoidance.

Coping with bullying victimization and the role of culture

Social representations theory (Moscovici 1973; Moscovici 2000; Moscovici 2001) highlights how we create systems of ideas, values, and beliefs in the particular social contexts we grow up in, which allow us to establish order and classify people as well as compare and explain behaviors. This type of collective thinking helps us to communicate, guided by a code for social exchange, while operating at different levels, such as the nation (hegemonic representations) and smaller subgroups of people (emancipated representations). The analysis of social representations should consider the cultural context in which they take shape. Culture can be understood as a broader network of representations held together as an organized whole by a community. Duveen (2007) highlights the danger to view culture categorically with all members of a community being alike, sharing beliefs, values, and practices, or as a static structure rather than a process. Further, scholars have reflected upon the changing nature of bullying with an ongoing and multifaceted meaning-making in sociocultural contexts (Maunder & Crafter, 2018). Bullying could differ across groups of subcultures within one national context and could further also change over time along with societal changes.

Social representations theory considers both, a system of values, ideas, and practices and the process of social representation, such as its formation through communication (cf. Valsiner, 2003). Communication allows for new social representations to be incorporated into well-known ones, which can happen through different types of anchoring (Moscovici, 2001). Thematic anchoring refers to underlying collective patterns of thinking, such as taken-for-granted ideas, constructed in interplay with specific contexts being socially and culturally constructed and maintained by social processes. While naming, Moscovici (2000) argued, would be necessary for communication and cooperation in a society, it has been associated with the process of stereotyping, which could result in anti-social behavior, such as bullying, and further affect coping. While scholars have started to discuss the role of social representations in identifying bullying causes (Thornberg, 2010), research is needed that reflects upon its role in coping strategies and perceptions of bullies.

Scholars have further explored the link between cultural value orientations, such as collectivist and individualist values, and coping (Smith & Robinson, 2019) and have identified collectivistic coping styles among Asians, Africans, and African-Americans (e.g., Kuo, 2012; Yeh & Wang, 2000; Utsey et al., 2004), as systematic review studies on culture and coping reveal (Kuo, 2012; Wong & Wong, 2006). Studies have referred to attribution theory (Weiner, 2004) associating individualistic societies with a stronger internal locus of control, which describes individuals’ beliefs to be able to influence events in their lives through their own actions. Members of collectivist societies were found to more readily adapt themselves to others’ expectations guided by a stronger external locus of control, the belief that one is influenced by one’s environment (Bernardo, 2010). The cultural transactional theory of stress and coping (Chun et al., 2006) hypothesized that individualistic values orientations encourage coping that aims at approaching and modifying the external situation. In contrast, adapting and changing oneself, such as one’s behavior, cognition or feelings has been associated with collectivist cultures. The expectation to change oneself and adapt one’s behavior could influence social representations of the responsibility of the bully, which should be further explored.

The Collectivist Coping Styles Inventory (CCSI, Heppner et al., 2006) employed a sample of over 3000 Taiwanese college students to elaborate on coping from an Asian perspective and identified the following five theoretically and empirically derived coping strategies: Acceptance, Reframing, and Striving; Family Support; Religion-Spirituality; Avoidance and Detachment; and Private Emotional Outlets. Hu et al. (2018) applied the CCSI to test correlations between the five different coping strategies and individualistic and collectivist value orientations of 124 adults (18–37 years old). Study subjects came from Mainland China, Macau and Hongkong and had experienced cyber bullying. Acceptance, reframing, and striving were associated with an individualistic orientation. The authors explained that personal responsibility and control may encourage those with individualistic values to choose to accept and find meaning in what they had experienced. Not all findings confirmed those of the original study. For example, Hu et al. related detachment and avoidant coping to individualistic values, which Heppner et al. (2006) associated with collectivism, expressed in efforts to save face and protect parents from being worried.

While quantitative studies serve to test relationships between cultural value orientations and coping strategies, an in-depth exploration of such possible relationships is needed to identify why quantitative findings differ. Scholars (e.g. Lazarus 2006) have stressed that there is an overreliance on quantitative methods neglecting various possible interpretations of bullying experiences and coping responses. For example, the same strategy, such as acceptance, reframing, and striving may be expressed and experienced differently across societal contexts. Also, peer victimization deserves further attention, which is often difficult to identify by bystanders and consequently difficult to react to (Garpelin, 2004) as victims may refrain from reporting (deLara, 2012; Moore & Maclean, 2012). Further, Hu et al. (2018) focused on coping with cyberbullying, which can differ from coping with traditional bullying (Sittichai & Smith, 2018), and assessed individualistic value orientations with a sample collected in a collectivist society. Studies are needed that explore coping with bullying victimization across individualistic and collectivist country contexts and in one study when investigating the role of culture.

Coping with bullying victimization among US and Thai students

While studies have addressed coping with bullying victimization in the US, scholars have neglected to discuss the role of culture (Heppner, 2008; Moos, 2002). Tenenbaum et al. (2011) examined coping strategies of fourth to eighth-grade US students who became victims of bullying. They most often used problem-focused strategies. Studies also found avoidant strategies to be common among US victims of bullying (Hansen et al., 2012), which, as scholars have argued, could be perceived as active coping, if it aims to reduce the bullying or to prevent problems that may result from confrontation (Cowie, 2004). Some studies have discussed the relationship between cultural value orientations and coping with workplace aggression in the US. Li and Lim (2017) associated the coping strategy of open confrontation with the individualistic contexts of the US, while accommodating behaviors were related to collectivist values. Scholars who have examined the individualism-collectivism dimension (Hofstede, 2001; Markus & Kitayama, 1991; Triandis, 2001), found that members of individualistic societies were more often expected to be independent and self-reliant, as parents, as first agents of socialization, fostering expression of needs from early onward. Members of collectivist societies, on the other hand, were found to encourage social obligations towards one’s family and ingroup members more strongly.

Few scholars have investigated coping in the region of South East Asia, as review studies show (Sittichai & Smith, 2015; Ruangnapakul et al., 2019). When contrasted with the US, a prototypical individualistic and masculine society, Thailand, similar to many other South East Asian countries, is characterized by cultural values of collectivism, femininity (values stressing care and social harmony over competition and assertiveness), and power distance (values stressing respect towards authorities) (Hofstede, 2001). Studies have positively associated parenting that does not promote skills of assertion and independence with higher risks to be bullied. Further authoritarian parting styles, applied in many parts of Asia, have been positively related to bullying behavior (Smith & Myron-Wilson, 1998; Martinez et al., 2019; Hong et al., 2020). Studies conducted in Asian countries, such as Thailand, Korea, China, and Japan have reflected on the role of perceptions of power on bullying, such as when older pupils were seen as more legitimate and their actions were less so interpreted as a form of bullying (Smith et al. 2016). The role of such social representations of bullies deserves further scholarly attention.

Research on coping in South East Asia has been mostly of quantitative nature (Sittichai & Smith, 2015). A quantitative study on coping among 1049 students, aged 12–18 years, conducted in Southern Thailand, (Sittichai & Smith, 2018) assessed coping in relation to age, religion, and gender. The most recommended coping strategy was “to tell someone (a teacher or a parent)”, followed by “avoiding the bullies”. Southern Thailand is characterized by its Muslims and Malay population, which makes up a minority in Thailand as compared to the 95% Buddhists living in the country and can’t easily be compared with the rest of Thailand (Population by religion, region and area, 2015). Further, students were asked to recommend coping strategies, which may differ from their actual behavior.

The few existing qualitative studies on coping in Thailand focus mainly on cyberbullying and do not discuss the role of culture. For example, Sittichai and Tudkea (2015) conducted semi-structured interviews with 27 victims and perpetrators and found, contrary to what students in Sittichai and Smiths’ (2018) study suggested, that victims rarely consulted parents or relatives, while some consulted close friends. A mixed-method study conducted on LGBT bullying in Thailand (Mahidol University, Plan International Thailand, & UNESCO Bangkok Office, 2014) demonstrated a high prevalence of peer bullying. Thai students would not approach a bully whom they defined as a friend or whose intentions were perceived as positive. Social representations of bullies may be influenced by values, such as those of collectivism and maintaining social harmony. Further, previous studies on coping have focused mostly on school settings and particularly one school level with recent studies centering on cyberbullying (Myers & Cowie, 2019). Interviewing university students can be of advantage when asking questions that require more thorough and analytical reflections, such as those related to the context of bullying, and can help to reflect on experiences and possible changes across school levels.

The above literature review shows that there is a need for research that (1) explores collectivist and individualistic coping in the context of traditional bullying victimization; (2) considers experiences in different school levels, including university; (3) compares countries that differ significantly in value orientations, such as Thailand and the US and (4) applies qualitative approaches (5). This study aims to fill these gaps by studying possible differences in coping strategies comparing US and Thai university students’ perceptions and behaviors related to current as well as past bullying victimization in schools, asking the following guiding questions:

• What are coping strategies applied in Thailand and in the US in schools and universities?

• How are those coping strategies perceived across cultural contexts?

• How are bullies perceived across country contexts?

• How do cultural value orientations influence coping strategies?

Method

Sample

The sample consisted of 18-25-year-old students of Thai and American nationality. Both groups were studying in Thailand at three international colleges with a student population of mostly Thai students at the time of data collection. American students were exchange students, who came from four different universities in the US and were studying a trimester abroad in Thailand. They had been in Bangkok for 2 months at the time of data collection and solely referred to bullying experiences in the United States.

As to recruit students to either take part in an interview or write an essay, lecturers were asked to announce the study in six different classes. Students who had experienced bullying victimization at any time during school or university and were interested to take part in the study could contact the researcher. The interview sample consisted of 13 American exchange students and 15 Thai students. 35 Thai and 25 US students wrote autobiographical essays on their bullying experiences. The research project was approved by the Ethics Committee of the International College.

Data collection

In-depth interviews were led for 45–60 min in English, face-to-face or via videoconferencing and mostly by the principal researcher, who also acts as a social counselor. A trained research assistant of Thai nationality supported to lead interviews with those students who felt not comfortable about speaking to a university staff member. In the beginning, they were asked to refer to repetitive behavior of others that triggered hurtful feelings and then more concretely about particular types of bullying, such as name-calling, exclusion and physical bullying. The interviewer further encouraged students to describe experiences as well as perceptions of the act of bullying, the bully, effects of bullying and their ways of coping in-depth as well as to share which time and place bullying took place. In a second phase, a different set of students were asked to answer the questions that were asked in the interviews by means of non-graded autobiographical written reflections (400-12000 words) in a free format.

Analysis

Methodological triangulation was utilized, conducting interviews and biographical essays. Choosing more than one method to gather data aimed at providing a more detailed and enriched picture of participants’ coping experiences. Written reflections served as a channel for students to express themselves without being inhibited by the presence of the interviewer. The study applied a thematic content analysis research design (Braun & Clarke, 2006) by following a particular order of steps, including familiarization with the data, coding as well as generating, reviewing, defining and naming themes before writing up the results. The author viewed transcribed interviews to get a thorough overview of the data before the analysis. As a second step, interviews were read with the main research questions in mind, which focused on differences and similarities in coping perceptions and behaviors as well as perceptions of bullies between the group of Thai and American students as well as the possible role of the cultural context. Passages in the text were coded inductively by openly looking at meaning within the data sets, as well as deductively with particular concepts in mind, such as those of cultural value orientations and previously researched coping styles. Codes and related text passages were reviewed and aggregated several times to be able to build and name overarching themes and subthemes. Finally, text passages that belonged to each theme were organized and summarized as to then write up the results section of the paper.

Findings

Approach or acceptance? Society vs the individual and feelings of guilt and empathy

Across school levels students mostly avoided confronting the bully. It would be best to “let it be”, “sit still, do nothing and continue with your duties”, “keep it low”, “be safe” and “control yourself”. Approaching the bully would not improve the situation. While US students more often explained that they had to accept the situation being powerless as individuals, Thai students stressed that asserting themselves was not socially accepted. Instead they should learn to accept. They further highlighted how “there is no solution to the problem in Thailand” and that “this is how people are treated in our society”.

A Thai student (male, 20) shared: “It’s kind of rare for somebody to stand up against it, especially in our culture. People are known for being polite, soft spoken, non-opinionated, or maintaining a 'face'.” A Thai student (female, 20) who had studied abroad in the US contrasted cultures and described how in Thailand people would be afraid to voice their opinion and instead follow the norm without considering what would be right: “This makes people less initiative. Thai people are professionally passive-aggressive. When I studied abroad, this was totally opposite. People do not mind others’ business. If conflict occurs, it is better to talk immediately, so it would not go worse.”

Many Thai students but none of the US students, stressed that the society and/or the family taught them to practice acceptance and to not hurt others’ feelings. Some Thai students referred to Buddhist values of compassion and consideration of others’ feelings as well as spiritual practices, such as praying and giving offerings, which helped them to “release the situation”. Thai scholars (Komin, 1991) have emphasized the importance of Buddhism and merit-making in Thailand and reflected upon its psychological effects. While spirituality and cultural values of empathy and sympathy seemed to influence social representations of the bully and allowed students to let go, they also expressed conflicting feelings, trying to practice acceptance, while feeling frustrated. A Thai female student (21) shared:

I pray to a spiritual being that the school believes in. In Thai culture, you can release the situation. Though when I meet them there is this anger and sadness inside my heart. We say “mai bpen rai”, which means that it does not matter because I “gleng jai”, which means I feel for the bully. If I tell the bully, they may feel uncomfortable. Thai culture is about “sabai sabai”, which means “no problem, all easygoing. We don’t speak frankly. We consider others’ feelings. Maybe because everyone thinks it’s ok, the bully does not stop.

Another Thai student (male, 21) referred to Thai cultural norms to put others before oneself: “It’s stressful. If you are too independent people won’t like you. You should always smile. We bury problems under the ground, put fake masks on, and let people treat us badly to avoid conflicts.” A Thai (male, 18) shared: “Especially in this culture you are taught to be kind, quiet, and receive. Many pretend nothing happened. We always pile it up, keep it, and show that you know, strong face and just be. We never share these feelings before.”

Those US students that did not approach the bully, stressed how they would not do so being too weak as an individual or as they could not change the bully. An American student (female, 20) shared: “There were just too many of those mean girls in high school. That’s just how they are and I couldn’t adequately retaliate. Later that frustration grew into tired indifference and apathy.” A male student (American, 20) reflected on experiences in secondary and high school and normalized bullying behavior as part of “men’s childhood”: “Older kids would punch me. Rarely left any bruises, it just hurt the ego. None of this seems that terrible. Most men’s childhoods are that of feelings of weakness and smallness. My experience is just another unfortunate reality of many.” While American students stressed how they were not able to do anything because victims were too young to defend themselves and bullies too young to understand the situation, several Thai students shared how they would or did still not react in their current situation, as a university student: “I still do to the same now, just sit still and do nothing.” (Thai, female, 21).

While US students more often approached the bully and did not express guilt when doing so, Thai students regularly shared feelings of guilt. A Thai student (male, 19) shared how he, in high school “could not hold it anymore” and voiced his frustration. He felt guilty and apologized. Only one Thai student (female, 19) reported an incident of physical retaliation, punching a bully after having been looked up in the toilet in middle school. She teared up during the interview: “This was not the right thing to do. From then on I tried to be more patient and accepting.” The bullying continued for 4 years until she changed schools. Three US male students referred to instances of physical retaliation, sharing their experiences with confidence:

In middle school, I punched him in the face. He was scrawny and way smaller than me. He started crying and alarmed the sports teacher. I lied and told everyone he hit me first. The principal believed me because I was a good student and he was not. I did not engage anymore physically later on in life because they were always bigger and stronger than me. (US, 20)

Tolerating the bully or staying friends

Only Thai students stressed how they tried to stay friends with the bully. US students, on the other hand, highlighted how they tried to tolerate the bully, to avoid trouble. An American student (female, 21) referred to her experience during middle and high school:

My perception of these people who were excluding me and others was very negative. I felt angry, upset, and confused about why I couldn’t make the cut to be included in their group. After feeling hurt by their behavior, I tried to be normal toward them but avoided being around them.

A number of Thai students shared the importance of staying together as a group, describing such group orientation as part of their culture. Collectivist values seemed to influence their social representation of the bullies, who were often considered friends but not as real friends. If they ended up alone, they would be at risk to become “people with less power” and perceived as “weird people in Thai society” who would be “treated differently from others”. A female student (Thai, 22) highlighted the importance of belonging to just any type of group. A bystander (Thai, male, 20) described how in Thailand people should stick together, even if people are not really sincere and honest. It could be that others talk behind the back, which he had experienced. He stressed: “However, in a society like Thailand it may not be good to tell others: ‘You stand up for yourself’.” A Thai student (male, 19) described:

In Thai society, people value mostly appearance. You have to have white skin, be skinny, have slim legs, have no acne, and whatsoever. People who do not fit in with the beauty standard will mostly be ignored by others. It is sad to say that but you may have to accept it and let them treat you like that. If you comment on those people, others might not like you as well. This action can make you to be banned.

Some Thai students described how peers were bullied, being asked to entertain a group, such as during the freshman introductory activities, when asked to take part in games, sing or dance: “They always call the students who are fat, black or LGTBQ to do these activities in front of many people to make fun. You are famous in a bad way. The freshmen want to befriend or pretend to be friends with older students to be part of the university and society.”

The use of humor - Laughing along or laughing it off

While scholars have argued that bullying should not only be defined by the intention of the bully but also by the effect it has on the receiver (Kowalski, 2000), many Thai students focused on the intention of the bully. They emphasized how they perceived joking and name-calling as a form of teasing with a positive or neutral intention and thus did not consider it as bullying. At the same time, they reported negative effects. A Thai student (female, 21) shared how friends regularly called her “short” and “fat”, which would be, according to her, “pretty much what best friends do”. While she felt hurt, she stressed that it would be import to remember the other non-hurtful positive memories together.

Victims as well as bystanders often laughed along to maintain a positive atmosphere and good relationships as they had learned to accept their situation. Some Thai students described themselves and Thai culture as “chilled” and “relaxed towards most situations”. Laughing was said to be helpful to “end any arguments peacefully and calmly”. A student (Thai, male, 22) described: “I told my teacher. It didn’t change anything. In the end, I just had to accept it and don’t care. I make fun of myself too, just say: ‘Ha-ha, I’m a black meatball’. Being too serious would be looked down upon. Some students voiced discontent about jokes others made but felt there was little to do about it. A Thai student (male, 19) elaborated: “Thai funny is very weird and discriminates. The joke has to be about appearance to be funny. In elementary school, I felt like it was not right. Growing up I got used to it. Everyone laughed, so I did too.” A female Thai student (18) shared:

My friends insulted me about how stupid I am and ugly I look. They said it like joking but it still made me lose confidence. It’s bullying to me but not to them. At first, I laughed and did not care. They kept saying it to my face until I hated everything about myself. If I confronted them about it, they are going to answer me back: ‘We were just joking! You’re being too sensitive and overthinking it.

While Thai students noticeably often mentioned how others “were just joking”, some described their confusion about the intention of the bully. A Thai female student (Thai, 21) shared an experience in middle school about a message she found in her pocket: “It said like ‘you need to die, you deserve to die’. I don’t know the real intention, if they want to bully or just joking. I don’t really know what I perceive is actually happening to me.”

While a number of US students shared experiences of being made fun of, only Thai students regularly referred to name calling. Though US victims also laughed, they did not do so to connect to the bully or to support a joyful atmosphere or to avoid being perceived as too serious. Instead, they described how they had to play along if students were more powerful or “laughed it off” to show that they did not care. An American student (female, 21) described how a student who got bullied in university for not perceiving social cues accurately: “The guy would normally laugh it off, but he shared with me privately that he was annoyed. He never really commented back. I think it was more of a pick your battles wisely kind of thing.” Another American student (female, 21), shared: “It’s like a game you play with the bully. You want to show the bully that it is not funny but you also can’t express that directly, so you just remain silent or laugh it off in an ironic way. It’s like code language.”

Self-blame and the responsibility of the victim to adapt

Students regularly shared that bullies were not responsible for their behavior or did not intend to hurt them. Bullies were perceived as “too young to think of the consequences”, “not mature”, “unaware”, “not raised properly” or “did not do it on purpose” and “had issues with themselves”. However, social representations of the bully differed. Only Thai students stressed that it was not the bullies’ but the victims’ fault and their responsibility to change, which was said to be expected by the society. While American students regularly referred to individual characteristics, such as the age of the bully, their development, and changing hormones, Thai students highlighted the influence of parenting and the society, such as when referring to patriarchal values to explain why male students would bully female students and how female like manners were expected, which was also taught in schools.

Several Thai students but none of the US students mentioned that they blamed themselves for becoming a bully victim and/or tried to adjust. Some US students referred to bullies as “extreme burnouts” or people with “impaired memory”: “I assume their memory systems were and are completely shot. Heavy drug abuse did not contribute positively to their low and declining IQ” (US, male, 20). Another American student (male, 20) shared: “I always thought of them as the cool kids. I thought they were better than me. As I got older and moved through high school, I realized that they are actually the losers and not me.”

Many Thai students emphasized how the victim needed to be strong and adapt his/her personality, behavior, or looks to stop and prevent bullying. Such representations of the victims were partly explained with reference to the role of Karma. Thai scholars, who have discussed Thai value orientations (Komin, 1991), have highlighted the psychological function of the Thai interpretation of Karma. Each person would be born with an amount of good karma depending on their deeds in previous lives. Not having enough good Karma could serve as an explanation for acceptance of one’s failure and others’ achievements and reduce psychological pressures to consider one’s control over the situation. A Thai student shared (female, 18) how she experienced exclusion and gossip in middle school and blamed herself for not being strong enough, while referring to her Karma.

I got depressed. It was one of the worst experiences, like a kind of physical abuse. I know I should not have cried because then I could not stop and then people feel bad. I should have been stronger. I hated myself because maybe it was my fault. Maybe I deserved this, maybe I did something bad before and it’s my Karma. But maybe if you learn to love yourself, you can love others and accept this kind of situation in the future.

Thai students referred to expectations of teachers, friends, parents, and the society to “look presentable” and “to fit in”. A Thai student described that, while those who were bullied may later develop insecurities, depression, and anxiety, “most people would just try to change themselves to impress others or to showcase, to make themselves feel better” (Thai, female, 18). Another Thai (female, 21) student described how her friend was called “pig” and “fat” in high school and how students would grab her arm to show others how big it was. She did not want to come to school anymore: “This made her mother and her teachers believe that she was a problem child.” Students mostly did not blame their parents’ behavior but voiced frustration about societal expectations. A student (Thai, female, 26) shared: “In Thai society, people think if you are not beautiful something is wrong with you, so we have to change. In Thailand, people would only think one has something interesting to share if one is beautiful.” When studying in France she felt much better about herself as it seemed to her that inner qualities counted as well.

Thai students regularly tried to change their appearance, such as their weight and skin color. A student (female, 19) got her eyes operated on to get rid of her glasses, which she was bullied for. A bystander (Thai, female, 20) shared how a friend had tried to commit suicide, who was bullied because of her teeth: “She got a brace treatment to fix her teeth. This did not stop others from calling her ugly.” Another Thai student (female, 18) stressed how common appearance-related bullying in Thailand was, also in universities, and how students tried to adapt: “I bought a lot of different whitening lotions to make the skin brighter. So many. Also, girls go to the barber and apply chemicals to make their hair straight. That is very important in our culture.”

Reframing - Becoming more empathetic or more resilient

Students across groups shared how bullying was a learning experience to them, which helped them to grow, improve themselves, and to strengthen and develop their personality. They described how “it strengthened those parts inside”, “build strength of character”, “weed out overly sensitive people”, “helped to develop the wit and thick skin necessary to take on harsher criticism later in life”, “helped to learn from mistakes”, and was experienced as “a push to improve oneself”. Some students stressed how bullying had helped them to change their behavior, such as their eating style as well as their acceptance towards others. They had become “more empathetic”, “less judgmental”, “independent” and “more resistant”. While students emphasized the positive effects of bullying, both groups referred to how bullying had affected their mental and emotional well-being. Students who had suffered from anxiety disorders, depression, and suicidal thoughts, still reported how their experience had taught them to grow.

There was, however, a noticeable difference in how Thais reframed their experiences as compared to US students. While US students described how they had become stronger and more resilient as individuals, being able to deal with pressure and challenges in their lives, Thais emphasized how they grew to become better people, who could emphasize more and be more accepting and tolerant. A Thai student who got bullied in high school stressed: “I really disliked them first but then I changed schools and thought that they are not bad but just different. I learned from this and became a better person, and more understanding. “An American-Jamaican student (female, 22) shared how she was bullied in middle school because of her hairstyle and the food she brought in middle school stressed: “It built my character because you know you can stand up for yourself in situations like this.”

Next to becoming more tolerant, Thai students referred to how victimization experiences motivated them to perform better as students. A Thai student who was excluded (male, 22) described how he started reading a lot of books, which helped him in university as well as to become a more tolerant person as reading helped him to understand diverse perspectives. A Thai female student (21) shared how she felt about her bullying experience: “You failed it for a moment but then you find the solution, you find a new group, and then it’s just like improve yourself so much like my personality has changed so much and like my grades improved.”

Thai students mentioned that it was expected in Thai society that those who were inferior, such as those who belonged to a different class, compromised or worked extra hard to earn their standing in the society. A Thai student (male, 18) shared how his cousin was bullied for being a slow learner and how he needed to attend special classes. However, being bullied, he said, “worked well” for his cousin: “To overcome his oppressions he kept his head down and worked hard. Gradually, he improved his grades to the point where he could leave the class. Now he is a top student in university due to his hard-working attitude.” While Thai students highlighted the importance to fit in and follow trends and expectations, American students mentioned that individualistic values in the US would promote competition as well as “to stand out”:

Perhaps since American culture is more individualistic than Thai culture, this is a greater problem since people are comparing one another and trying to stand out. Most people struggle with this until they overcome this sensation to fit in later in development. People usually become happier when they realize that they are good enough without the evaluation of others. (US, female, 21)

Seeking help - Involvement of teachers, parents, and school staff

Thai students noticeably often stressed that parents did not understand them and that it got worse if they got involved. They also did not want to burden parents, who often told them to ignore the situation or the bully. A Thai student (19, female) shared: “We don’t want anyone to get involved because if teachers and parents know it then it goes to the principal and the entire school knows and will start talking about it. So, we just keep it, like within ourselves.”

A Thai-British student (18) emphasized that from the Thai side of the family “fitting in was the only thing that was taught”. Such value, she said, could encourage students to think that it would be reasonable to make fun of differences between people and that they would likely not seek help. Overall, American students showed more willingness to share their experiences with others. Those who did not approach still stressed that it would be generally helpful and the right thing to do so. Some American students explained how valuable it was to have parents to talk to: “They let me stay home and wrote emails and spoke to the other girls’ parents about it. They really supported me and didn’t make me feel alone in that situation. I usually always talk to someone (female, 21).” Only American students referred in a positive way toward the option of counseling. A Thai student (male, 19) shared: “It is not popular for people to see a psychologist and for those who do so, society will think of them as crazy and insane.”

While some American students reported they did not involve teachers as they feared that this could affect their school grades, a number of Thai students stressed that they did not trust their teachers and that in many cases teachers were involved in bullying. Social representations of teachers as bullies seemed to be influenced by social norms of respecting those in higher positions and of older age. Some Thais critically reflected upon the power of the teacher. A student (female,21) stressed: “Thai culture really influences this. You should always respect older people. This is the most hated culture for me. I mean it is good to respect but, to me, we should respect others because we are all humans.”

Some American students referred to teachers’ racist attitudes and discriminatory behaviors. A number of Thai students stressed positive intentions of teachers, who called them names related to such as their weight and skin color. They explained that name-calling would serve the class to connect and create a better and more relaxed atmosphere but at the same time often described how it hurt their feelings and self-esteem. A Thai student (female, 18) shared her experience in middle school when her teacher called her names: “This was because of my ugly teeth and big mouth. They didn’t think anything. Want to make it fun. It’s not fun for me but I tried to be mature. If I show any weak side, I will be worse.” An American-Nigerian student (female, 22) shared that she was thrown out of the classroom, which she assumed was because of her race. It may have felt better if she had approached her teacher, she stressed, but she was afraid of the consequences.

Students across groups more often turned to friends for support. While US students shared how exchanging with peers helped them to deal with their emotions and to solve their problem, some Thai students stressed how victims complained instead of looking for solutions: “They talked to me but not like consulted me. But they don’t ask like how should I deal with the situation” (Thai, male, 22). Some Thai students also stressed that speaking about it would make them feel worse: “If one speaks it out loud, it means you are actually feeling it. Feeling all these bullied feelings. So, I guess people tend to just like not to talk. It’s also more like that you have already passed that you should be doing well.” (Thai, male, 19)

Discussion

Findings identified coping styles previously discussed by scholars, such as approach or avoidance, acceptance, reframing, seeking social support, and the use of humor (Heppner et al., 2006; Hu et al., 2018; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984; Roth & Cohen, 1986). Coping strategies and perceptions of bullies differed across the two groups of US and Thai students. While scholars (Chun et al., 2006) have associated avoidance coping with collectivist cultural values, students across both groups mostly avoided direct confrontation but did so differently and for different reasons. US students avoided the bully because they felt not strong enough to fight back and were not able to change the bully, while Thai students often tried to practice acceptance with the aim to maintain relationships. Thai students shared how victimization experiences had taught them to become more tolerant and empathetic, while US students reframed how experiences helped them to become stronger and more resilient. US students were more concerned about how their coping behavior affected them as individuals, whereas Thai students regularly mentioned how their behavior could affect, relationships with others, such as the bully, bystanders and overall, the community.

Social representations theory can help to elaborate on those differences. Thornberg (2010) researched social representations of bullying causes with students from Sweden, an individualistic societal context. While the most common attribution was that of victims being deviant, more than a third of the children attributed bullying to the bully being aggressive or impulsive with a need to dominate others. In this study, Thai victims did often not voice negative social representations of the bully but instead often blamed themselves. American students, on the other hand, showed social representations of the bully as someone less developed, not smart enough, or not raised well and rarely blamed victims. They also regularly expressed anger, when talking about the bully during interviews, while Thai students expressed shame if anger arose. Thai students who confidently expressed anger during the interview were students in the group of LGBT. This may be explained by a stronger ingroup identity (Gaertner et al., 2016) based on students’ sexual orientation. In this case, asserting oneself may not interfere with the values of group belonging.

Social representation theory describes how representations become anchored as themes, also referred to as taken-for-granted knowledge, influenced by the societal context they occur in. Differences in social representations of the bully and the victim across the samples seemed to be influenced by collectivist (Thai) as compared to individualistic (American) societal expectations, such as whether one should divert from the norm or should look and behave presentably, and fit in to maintain relationships and social harmony. Further, Thailand, as one of the most feminine societies, has been associated with values to maintain group harmony, group belonging, avoid conflict and be considerate of others’ feelings (Hofstede, 2001). Thai victims stressed the need to change and adapt, such as with help of the use of whitening cream and weight loss pills as well as by dressing politely. Such expectations were communicated and reinforced by parents, educational staff, and the media. In their study, Hamarus and Kaikkonen (2008) concluded that culture and communication are created through similarities and differences, such as in ideals related to clothing, beauty, and powerfulness. Bullying and coping can play a role in creating and renewing culturally accepted and appreciated values and ideas.

Particular Thai values may further explain how social representations of the bully, the victim and the act of bullying were anchored. Komin (1991) referred to Thai cultural values, such as the importance of “sanuk” (สนุก, fun) and “len” (เล่น, play). While Thai students often laughed along to maintain relationships with the bully and bystanders as well as to contribute to an entertaining atmosphere, US students rather “laughed it off” and either avoided or tolerated bullies. Some Thai students highlighted how name-calling by teachers, while hurtful, could support the class to connect and create a better and more relaxed atmosphere. Many Thai students stressed the importance to not take a situation too seriously and to keep people happy. Some Thai students shared how Buddhist beliefs motivated them to let go and practice forgiveness and acceptance, such as when praying and giving offerings to a spirit house located at the university campus. Komin (1991) reflected critically upon the psychological function of the Thai interpretation of Karma, which would encourage people to accept a situation without realizing their control over it. Other scholars have highlighted the role of passive coping strategies in collectivist country contexts (Chun et al., 2006). However, scholars have also associated the religious dimension of coping with the need to create a positive meaning for a situation (Dardas & Ahmad, 2015). Thai students referred to the Buddhist belief in Karma, as an explanation for why they had to experience bullying as well as when trying to practice acceptance and forgiveness, which also helped them to overcome negative feelings toward the bully.

Studies should look closely at how control is perceived across contexts. Attribution theory (Weiner, 2004) describes how we attribute events and consequences either to our abilities and influence (internal locus of control) or to events outside of our control (external locus of control). Asserting oneself towards the bully as well as seeking social support, two of the most effective coping strategies, represent an internal locus of control (e.g. Camodeca & Goossens, 2005; Sittichai & Smith, 2018). In this study, US students more readily sought social support than Thai students, who did not want to burden parents or create a negative atmosphere. However, considering significant others, such as not burdening parents, helping to save face, and avoiding possible conflicts, could also represent an internal locus of control.

Scholars have further distinguished between primary control, the attempt to directly and actively control the problematic situation, and secondary control, referring to the control one can have over the psychological impact of the experience (Markus & Kitayama, 2003; Weisz et al., 1984). Thai students’ attempts to adapt behaviors or appearances they were bullied for as well as to stay connected to the bully, could reflect a form of primary control over the situation. American and Thai students’ tendency to reframe their experiences when describing how bullying had helped them to develop themselves, could be seen as a form of secondary control, supporting them to cope emotionally. Reframing further seemed to serve individualistic and collectivist motives in different ways. While Thai students often stressed how they developed relationship-building skills, such as becoming more empathetic, tolerant, flexible, and accepting, American students stressed how they became stronger, more resilient, and able to cope with future bullying situations.

However, Thais also stressed that they had to follow societal expectations, such as to fit in, to forgive, to accept, to obey teachers, and to remain silent, which could lead to lower levels of experienced control. Differences in values of power distance (Hofstede, 20011) may explain why Thais refrained from addressing teachers or parents, who were often involved in name-calling related to skin color or weight, which was not the case among the US students. While some Thai students rationalized the behavior of teachers, explaining how it served to entertain the class or to take attendance, others criticized Thai values to respect those of higher status, such as teachers. Possible changes in the interpretation of power among Thai students over time should be taken into account. For example, dissatisfaction with the military-led government and the monarchy have encouraged recent pro-democratic student movements in Thailand. Those have challenged values of power distance and conformity as students started demanding to overthrow rules, such as those that support school uniforms (Bangkok Post, 2020). Scholars have emphasized the need to consider how an ongoing and multifaceted meaning-making in sociocultural contexts can affect bullying perceptions (Maunder & Crafter, 2018).

Conclusion and implications

This study explored coping with bullying victimization among Thai and US victims across schools and universities. It further raised the question if and how bullies are perceived differently across country contexts. Finally, the role of culture and social representations as well as the possible anchoring of identified representations were discussed. Results revealed differences across groups related to reasons for avoiding to approach the bully, use of humour, perceptions of the bully and reframing bullying as helpful for becoming more resilient or empathetic. Further, groups differed in the way they viewed the responsibility of the victim to adapt as well as in seeking help from teachers or counselors. Coping strategies were more similar across school levels among Thai students, with bullying continuing to university levels. Only Thai students reported regular name-calling behavior of teachers.

Thai cultural values of collectivism, femininity, enjoyment, and being considerate of others’ feelings affected coping differently. Values seemed to further influence social representations of the bully, who was perceived as rather negative among US students and neutral or positive among Thai students. Representations were anchored, particularly in Thailand, through parents, teachers and the media, stressing the importance to look presentable and fit in. US students, on the other hand, highlighted the role of the individual. Further, Buddhist values encouraged Thai students to learn to let go. While scholars have associated collectivist societies with passive coping, Thai students’ motive to protect others’ feelings or to tolerate the bully to maintain harmony could also be seen as an internal locus of control. Values for power distance may though contribute to accept victimization experiences rather publicly than privately.

Study results can guide educators, counselors, and parents in supporting bullying victims in their respective cultural contexts. Active participation in social interactions can help to provide opportunities for students to incorporate and co-construct different social representations. It may need to be considered if certain strategies, such as approaching the bully should be encouraged in cultures where victims could consequently experience high levels of guilt and face the risk to become out-grouped. Education on opportunities for support, such as counseling, could help students to voice their problems whilst maintaining relationships.

There are limitations to this study. Students mostly referred to past experiences, which could have influenced findings as memories may get distorted. Further, data was collected from Thai students studying at international colleges, which could be associated with more individualistic value orientations. However, scholars have stressed that collectivist values seem to persist if economic dependencies are replaced by emotional dependencies (Ball, 2001; Kagitcibasi, 2007), which seemed to have been the case among Thai students, who described close relationships with their parents. Future studies could further explore and compare perceptions of younger students across cultures as well as explore the possible role of different subcultures within one national context.