Understanding Forgiveness After Leaving an Abusive Relationship: The Voices of Chinese Female Intimate Partner Violence Survivors

Abstract

Forgiveness is known to play an important role in recovery studies of female intimate partner violence (IPV) survivors. However, survivors’ understanding of forgiveness remains unclear. This study explored forgiveness through semi-structured interviews with 25 Chinese women. The results indicate that forgiveness is an unintended process that comprises the alleviation of a grudge held against former partners and a reframed understanding of them. It does not involve reconciliation. Moreover, establishment of clear boundaries is a precondition for forgiveness. The findings supplement knowledge on forgiveness and the importance of cognitive reframing, emotion regulation, and establishing clear boundaries in forgiveness and recovery.

Keywords

intimate partner violence female IPV survivors recovery forgiveness establishing boundaries

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Abrahams

(2007). Supporting women after domestic violence: Loss, trauma and recovery. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Akhtar

Barlow

(2018). Forgiveness therapy for the promotion of mental well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 19(1), 107–122. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838016637079

All China Women’s Federation. (2013, November 27). ACWF, NWCCW hold anti-domestic violence legislation seminar. http://www.womenofchina.cn/html/womenofchina/report/167609-1.htm

Allen

K. N.

Wozniak

D. F.

(2010). The language of healing: Women’s voices in healing and recovering from domestic violence. Social Work in Mental Health, 9(1), 37–55. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332985.2010.494540

Barusch

Gringeri

George

(2011). Rigor in qualitative social work research: A review of strategies used in published articles. Social Work Research, 35(1), 11–19. https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/35.1.11

Berecz

J. M.

(2001). All that glitters is not gold: Bad forgiveness in counseling and preaching. Pastoral Psychology, 49(4), 253–275. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1004869004377

Campbell

J. C.

(2002). Health consequences of intimate partner violence. Lancet, 359(9314), 1331–1336. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(02)08336-8

Charmaz

(2014). Constructing grounded theory. Sage.

Chinese Law against Domestic Violence. (2015). http://www.gov.cn/zhengce/2015-12/28/content_5029898.htm

10.

Crawford

Liebling-Kalifani

Hill

(2013). Women’s understanding of the effects of domestic abuse: The impact on their identity, sense of self and resilience. A grounded theory approach. Journal of International Women’s Studies, 11(2), 63–82.

11.

Creswell

J. W.

Miller

D. L.

(2000). Determining validity in qualitative inquiry. Theory Into Practice, 39(3), 124–130. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15430421tip3903_2

12.

Czerny

A. B.

Lassiter

P. S.

(2016). Healing from intimate partner violence: An empowerment wheel to guide the recovery journey. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 11(3-4), 311–324. https://doi.org/10.1080/15401383.2016.1222321

13.

Davies

Dodd

(2002). Qualitative research and the question of rigor. Qualitative Health Research, 12(2), 279–289. https://doi.org/10.1177/104973230201200211

14.

Davis

J. R.

Gold

G. J.

(2011). An examination of emotional empathy, attributions of stability, and the link between perceived remorse and forgiveness. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(3), 392–397. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.10.031

15.

Denk

Kaufmann

Carter Craig

(2012). Increasing the rigor of grounded theory research—A review of the SCM literature. International Journal of Physical Distribution & Logistics Management, 42(8/9), 742–763. https://doi.org/10.1108/09600031211269730

16.

Enright

R. D.

(1996). Counseling within the forgiveness triad: On forgiving, receiving, forgiveness, and self-forgiveness. Counseling and Values, 40(2), 107–126. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.1996.tb00844.x

17.

Enright

R. D.

Fitzgibbons

R. P.

(2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.

18.

Enright

R. D.

Freedman

Rique

(1998). The psychology of interpersonal forgiveness. In Enright

R. D.

Joanna

(Eds.), Exploring forgiveness (pp. 46–62). University of Wisconsin Press.

19.

Fincham

F. D.

Paleari

F. G.

Regalia

(2002). Forgiveness in marriage: The role of relationship quality, attributions, and empathy. Personal Relationships, 9(1), 27–37. https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6811.00002

20.

Flasch

Murray

C. E.

Crowe

(2017). Overcoming abuse: A phenomenological investigation of the journey to recovery from past intimate partner violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 32(22), 3373–3401. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260515599161

21.

Ford

J. D.

Chang

Levine

Zhang

(2013). Randomized clinical trial comparing affect regulation and supportive group therapies for victimization-related PTSD With incarcerated women. Behavior Therapy, 44(2), 262–276. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2012.10.003

22.

Ford-Gilboe

Wuest

Merritt-Gray

(2005). Strengthening capacity to limit intrusion: Theorizing family health promotion in the aftermath of woman abuse. Qualitative Health Research, 15(4), 477–501. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732305274590

23.

Watkins

Hui

E. K. P.

(2004). Personality correlates of the disposition towards interpersonal forgiveness: A Chinese perspective. International Journal of Psychology, 39(4), 305–316. https://doi.org/10.1080/00207590344000402

24.

García-Moreno

Jansen

Ellsberg

Heise

Watts

(2005). WHO multi-country study on women’s health and domestic violence against women. World Health Organization.

25.

García-Moreno

Pallitto

Devries

Stöckl

Watts

Abrahams

(2013). Global and regional estimates of violence against women: Prevalence and health effects of intimate partner violence and non-partner sexual violence. World Health Organization.

26.

Giesbrecht

Sevcik

(2000). The process of recovery and rebuilding among abused women in the conservative evangelical subculture. Journal of Family Violence, 15(3), 229–248. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1007549401830

27.

Glaser

B. G.

Strauss

(1967). The discovery of grounded theory: Strategies for qualitative research. Aldine.

28.

Gordon

K. C.

Burton

Porter

(2004). Predicting the intentions of women in domestic violence shelters to return to partners: Does forgiveness play a role? Journal of Family Psychology, 18(2), 331–338. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.18.2.331

29.

Hardesty

J. L.

Crossman

K. A.

Khaw

Raffaelli

(2016). Marital violence and coparenting quality after separation. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(3), 320–330. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000132

30.

Hardesty

J. L.

Ganong

L. H.

(2006). How women make custody decisions and manage co-parenting with abusive former husbands. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(4), 543–563. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407506065983

31.

Hardesty

J. L.

Khaw

Chung

G. H.

Martin

J. M.

(2008). Coparenting relationships after divorce: Variations by type of marital violence and fathers’ role differentiation. Family Relations, 57(4), 479–491. www.jstor.org/stable/20456812

32.

Hardesty

J. L.

Raffaelli

Khaw

Thomann Mitchell

Haselschwerdt

M. L.

Crossman

K. A.

(2012). An integrative theoretical model of intimate partner violence, coparenting after separation, and maternal and child well-being. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 4(4), 318–331. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1756-2589.2012.00139.x

33.

Hargrave

T. D.

(1994). Families and forgiveness: A theoretical and therapeutic framework. The Family Journal, 2(4), 339–348. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480794024007

34.

Hook

J. N.

Worthington

E. L.

Utsey

S. O.

(2009). Collectivism, forgiveness, and social harmony. The Counseling Psychologist, 37(6), 821–847. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000008326546

35.

Hou

W.-L.

N.-Y.

Shu

B.-C.

(2013). Recovery experiences of Taiwanese women after terminating abusive relationships: A phenomenology study. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 28(1), 157–175. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260512448851

36.

Kachadourian

L. K.

Fincham

Davila

(2004). The tendency to forgive in dating and married couples: The role of attachment and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 11(3), 373–393. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2004.00088.x

37.

Karakurt

Silver

K. E.

(2013). Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age. Violence and Victims, 28(5), 804–821. https://doi.org/10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041

38.

Katz

Street

Arias

(1997). Individual differences in self-appraisals and responses to dating violence scenarios. Violence and Victims, 12(3), 265–276. https://doi.org/10.1891/0886-6708.12.3.265

39.

Koelsch

L. E.

(2013). Reconceptualizing the member check interview. International Journal of Qualitative Methods, 12(1), 168–179. https://doi.org/10.1177/160940691301200105

40.

Kurniati

N. M. T.

Worthington

E. L.

Kristi Poerwandari

Ginanjar

A. S.

Dwiwardani

(2017). Forgiveness in Javanese collective culture: The relationship between rumination, harmonious value, decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness. Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 20(2), 113–127. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajsp.12173

41.

Lamb

(2002). Women, abuse, and forgiveness: A special case. In Lamb

Murphy

J. G.

(Eds.), Before forgiving: Cautionary views of forgiveness in psychotherapy (pp. 155–171). Oxford University Press.

42.

Lammers

Ritchie

Robertson

(2005). Women’s experience of emotional abuse in intimate relationships. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 5(1), 29–64. https://doi.org/10.1300/J135v05n01_02

43.

Leech

N. L.

Onwuegbuzie

A. J.

(2007). An array of qualitative data analysis tools: A call for data analysis triangulation. School Psychology Quarterly, 22(4), 557–584. https://doi.org/10.1037/1045-3830.22.4.557

44.

Lincoln

Guba

(1985). Naturalistic inquiry. Sage.

45.

Loring

M. T.

(1994). Emotional abuse. Lexington Books.

46.

Lundahl

B. W.

Taylor

M. J.

Stevenson

Roberts

K. D.

(2008). Process-based forgiveness interventions: A meta-analytic review. Research on Social Work Practice, 18(5), 465–478. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049731507313979

47.

Madden-Derdich

D. A.

Arditti

J. A.

(1999). The ties that bind: Attachment between former spouses. Family Relations, 48(3), 243–249. https://doi.org/10.2307/585633

48.

McCullough

M. E.

Pargament

K. I.

Thoresen

C. E.

(2000). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. Guilford Press.

49.

McCullough

M. E.

Worthington

E. L.

Jr. Rachal

K. C.

(1997). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(2), 321–336. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.73.2.321

50.

McKay

K. M.

Hill

M. S.

Freedman

S. R.

Enright

R. D.

(2007). Towards a feminist empowerment model of forgiveness psychotherapy. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 44(1), 14–29. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-3204.44.1.14

51.

Mihalache

(2012). The transformational dynamics of becoming forgiving of the seemingly unforgivable: A qualitative heuristic study. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 14(2), 111–128. https://doi.org/10.1080/19349637.2012.671049

52.

Nelson

M. K.

(1992). A new theory of forgiveness. Purdue University.

53.

Perez

Johnson

D. M.

Wright

C. V.

(2012). The attenuating effect of empowerment on IPV-related PTSD symptoms in battered women living in domestic violence shelters. Violence Against Women, 18(1), 102–117. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801212437348

54.

Power

F. C.

(1994). Commentary. Human Development, 37(2), 81–85.

55.

Reed

G. L.

Enright

R. D.

(2006). The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional abuse. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(5), 920–929. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.74.5.920

56.

Reisenhofer

Taft

(2013). Women’s journey to safety—The transtheoretical model in clinical practice when working with women experiencing intimate partner violence: A scientific review and clinical guidance. Patient Education and Counseling, 93(3), 536–548. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pec.2013.08.004

57.

Ripley

J. S.

Worthington

E. L.

Jr (2002). Hope-focused and forgiveness-based group interventions to promote marital enrichment. Journal of Counseling & Development, 80(4), 452–463. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6678.2002.tb00212.x

58.

Senter

K. E.

Caldwell

(2002). Spirituality and the maintenance of change: A phenomenological study of women who leave abusive relationships. Contemporary Family Therapy, 24(4), 543–564. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1021269028756

59.

Smith

M. E.

(2003). Recovery from intimate partner violence: A difficult journey. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 24(5), 543–573. https://doi.org/10.1080/01612840305290

60.

Tam

D. M.

Schleicher

Kwok

S.-M.

Thurston

W. E.

Dawson

(2016). Social work interventions on intimate partner violence against women in China. Journal of Social Work, 16(2), 228–249. https://doi.org/10.1177/1468017314568745

61.

Taylor

J. Y.

(2004). Moving from surviving to thriving: African American women recovering from intimate male partner abuse. Research and Theory for Nursing Practice, 18(1), 35–50. https://doi.org/10.1891/rtnp.18.1.35.28056

62.

Ulloa

E. C.

Hammett

J. F.

Guzman

M. L.

Hokoda

(2015). Psychological growth in relation to intimate partner violence: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 25, 88–94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2015.07.007

63.

Wade

N. G.

Meyer

J. E.

(2009). Comparison of brief group interventions to promote forgiveness: A pilot outcome study. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 59(2), 199–220. https://doi.org/10.1521/ijgp.2009.59.2.199

64.

Wade

N. G.

Worthington

E. L.

(2005). In search of a common core: A content analysis of interventions to promote forgiveness. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 42, 160–177. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-3204.42.2.160

65.

Walton

(2005). Therapeutic forgiveness: Developing a model for empowering victims of sexual abuse. Clinical Social Work Journal, 33(2), 193–207. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-005-3532-1

66.

Wieselquist

(2009). Interpersonal forgiveness, trust, and the investment model of commitment. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(4), 531–548. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509347931

67.

Worthington

E. L.

Jr. (2006). Forgiveness and reconciliation: Theory and application. Routledge.

68.

Wuest

Merritt-Gray

(1999). Not going back: Sustaining the separation in the process of leaving abusive relationships. Violence Against Women, 5(2), 110–133. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801299005002002

69.

Wuest

Merritt-Gray

(2001). Beyond survival: Reclaiming self after leaving an abusive male partner. Canadian Journal of Nursing Research, 32(4), 79–94.

70.

Yick

A. G.

(2008). A metasynthesis of qualitative findings on the role of spirituality and religiosity among culturally diverse domestic violence survivors. Qualitative Health Research, 18(9), 1289–1306. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732308321772

71.

Zhao

Kou

(2010). An interview survey on college students’ forgiveness view. Youth Studies, 374(5), 31–43. (In Chinese)