Tension plagues the relationship between the author and his father when it comes to golf- and gay-related issues. The author is also stuck between two canonical stories, one that says he must work things out to fulfill his responsibilities as a son and another that tells him to let go, to realize that he “can’t choose his relatives,” and to view the relationship as a waste of time. In this project, the author uses a relational paradigm to reframe the father-son relationship in which he finds himself immersed. He’s a victim, so is his father. He’s an oppressor, so is his father. They victimize and oppress together, simultaneously hurting and being hurt while never deciding to quit. The story is about the troubled relationship that separates them. It’s a story of sexuality and sport, of gayness and hegemonic masculinity, of a fag and his golf clubs. It’s a story of love and hate.
Bochner, A. P. (1997). It’s about time: Narrative and the divided self. Qualitative Inquiry, 3, 418-438.
2.
Bochner, A. P. (2002). Perspectives on inquiry III: The moral of stories. In M. L. Knapp & J. A. Daly (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal communication (3rd ed., pp. 73-101). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
3.
Bochner, A. P. (2004, November 12). Response to “Ethnography in Interpersonal Communication.” Paper presented at the National Communication Association Convention, Chicago.
4.
Butler, J. (1990). Performative acts and gender constitution: An essay in phenomenology and feminist theory. In S.-E. Case (Ed.), Performing feminisms: Feminist critical theory and theatre (pp. 270-282). Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press.
5.
Butler, J. (1997). Excitable speech: A politics of the performative. New York: Routledge.
6.
Butler, J. (1999). Gender trouble: Feminism and the subversion of identity (2nd ed.). New York: Routledge.
7.
Ellis, C. (1993). “THERE ARE SURVIVORS”: Telling a story of a sudden death. The Sociological Quarterly, 34, 711-730.
8.
Ellis, C. (2004). The ethnographic I: A methodological novel about autoethnography. Walnut Creek, CA: AltaMira.
9.
Ellis, C. (in press). Telling secrets, revealing lives: Relational ethics in research with intimate others. Qualitative Inquiry.
10.
Ellis, C., & Flaherty, M. G. (1992). An agenda for the interpretation of lived experience. In C. Ellis & M. G. Flaherty (Eds.), Investigating subjectivity: Research on lived experience (pp. 1-13). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
11.
Frank, A. W. (1995). The wounded storyteller. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
12.
Gelber, S. M. (1997). Do-it yourself: Constructing, repairing and maintaining domestic masculinity. American Quarterly, 49(1), 66-112.
13.
Goffman, E. (1990). The presentation of self in everyday life. New York: Doubleday. (Original work published 1959)
14.
Hampl, P. (1999). I could tell you stories: Sojourns in the land of memory. New York: Norton.
15.
Hopkins, P. D. (1998). How feminism made a man out of me: The proper subject of feminism and the problem of men. In T. Digby (Ed.), Men doing feminism (pp. 33-56). New York: Routledge.
16.
Jaggar, A. M. (1989). Love and knowledge: Emotion in feminist epistemology. In A. M. Jaggar & S. R. Bordo (Eds.), Gender/body/knowledge: Feminist reconstructions of being and knowing (pp. 145-171). New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press.
17.
Kerby, A. P. (1991). Narrative and the self. Bloomington: Indiana University Press.
18.
Kiesinger, C. E. (2002). My father’s shoes: The therapeutic value of narrative reframing. In A. P. Bochner & C. Ellis (Eds.), Ethnographically speaking: Autoethnography, literature, and aesthetics (pp. 95-114). Walnut Creek, CA: Altamira.
19.
Krippendorff, K. (1995). Undoing power. Critical Studies in Mass Communication, 12(2), 101-132.
20.
Le Guin, U. K. (1980). It was a dark and stormy night; Or, why are we huddling about the campfire?Critical Inquiry, 6, 191-199.
21.
MacIntyre, A. (1984). After virtue: A study in moral theory (2nd ed.). Notre Dame, IN: University of Notre Dame Press.
22.
Oxford American desk dictionary and thesaurus (2nd ed.). (2001). New York: Berkley.
23.
Pelias, R. J. (2002). For father and son: An ethnodrama with no catharsis. In A. P. Bochner & C. Ellis (Eds.), Ethnographically speaking: Autoethnography, literature, and aesthetics (pp. 35-43). Walnut Creek, CA: Altamira.
24.
Peters, J. D. (1999). Speaking into the air: A history of the idea of communication. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
25.
Philipsen, G. (1975). Speaking ‘like a man’ in Teamsterville: Culture patterns of role enactment in an urban neighborhood. Quarterly Journal of Speech, 61(1), 13-22.
26.
Yerby, J. (1995). Family systems theory reconsidered: Integrating social construction theory and dialectical process. Communication Theory, 5, 339-365.
