Joining the ongoing dialogue regarding the need for reflexivity in qualitative research, this tale of the author’s “natural” childbirth and subsequent research into the field of midwifery explores the tension between postmodern and modern aspects of her Self. The former accepts a lived experience of fragmented, separate selves and partial truth, whereas the latter wants an integrated, whole Self and absolute truth. Using introspection, this tension is understood in terms of two different forms of cultural patterning, the female gaze and the masculine pull. Moreover, the author believes that the term natural serves as a self-contained opposite that allows mothers and researchers to bridge these two cultural patterns.
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