Relationships as a “Three-Legged Sack Race”

Abstract

The authors introduce the “three-legged sack race” as a metaphor for three contrasting ways of describing a couple’s relationship. The interdependent model has the inside two legs of the couple attached and the outside two legs independent. Enmeshed, or overly dependent couples have all four legs in the sack (no individuation). Conversely, independent couples have all four legs out of the sack (detached). After having an individual self-assess his or her behaviors characterizing each of these styles, the authors present some sample responses based on interviews with 55 adults. Attachment theory is then discussed. The article concludes with implications and applications to one’s own relationship and identifying a “next-steps action plan.”