Grandparent Alienation: A Mixed Method Exploration of Life Satisfaction and Help-Seeking Experiences of Grandparents Alienated From Their Grandchildren

Abstract

Grandparent alienation is an intentional behavior in which a parent turns a child against a grandparent through emotional manipulation of the child. In this study, we explored alienation behaviors experienced, life satisfaction, relationship status, and help-seeking experiences of 551 adults who identified as alienated grandparents. Analysis included ANOVA, regression analysis, correlation, and thematic analysis of all participants’ responses to an open-ended question addressing help seeking. Life satisfaction was negatively affected by the number of alienating behaviors experienced. Grandchild brainwashing and withholding information about grandchildren significantly predicted life satisfaction in this sample as did relationship status and participant age. Thematic analysis revealed two main themes related to participants’ help-seeking experiences with counselors: (1) their yearning for support was satisfied through validation, coping skill acquisition, and engaging with an empathic listener, and (2) they experienced disappointment and frustration through clinician lack of experience and understanding. Implications and best practices for counselors are provided.

Keywords

ambiguous loss grandparent alienation grandparent–grandchild relationship life satisfaction counseling

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Avieli

Levy

(2023). “I feel erased:” A qualitative analysis of grandparent experiences of parental alienation. Family Relations, 72(3), 976–992. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12704

Blake

Bland

Golombok

(2015). Hidden voices: Family estrangement in adulthood. Centre for Family Research at University of Cambridge.

Boss

Yeats

J. R.

(2014). Ambiguous loss: A complicated type of grief when loved ones disappear. Bereavement Care, 33(2), 63–69. https://doi.org/10.1080/02682621.2014.933573

Bounds

Matthewson

(2023). Parental alienating behaviours experienced by alienated grandparents. Journal of Family Issues, 44(12), 3250–3272. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X221126753

Braun

Clarke

(2013). Successful qualitative research: A practical guide for beginners. Sage Publications.

Cox

S. J.

(2020). Grandparent and third-party visitation rights: A 50 state survey. Children’s Legal Rights Journal, 40(2), 76–98.

Dahl

C. M.

Boss

(2020). Ambiguous loss: Theory-based guidelines for therapy with individuals, families, and communities. In Wampler

K. S.

Rastogi

Singh

(Eds.), The handbook of systemic family therapy (Vol. 4, pp. 127–151). Wiley Blackwell. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119788409.ch6

Diener

Emmons

R. A.

Larsen

R. J.

Griffin

(1985). The satisfaction with life scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 49(1), 71–75. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa4901_13 .

Diener

Seligman

(2004). Beyond money: Toward an economy of well-being. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 5(1), 1–31. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00501001.x

10.

Diener

Suh

E. M.

Lucas

R. E.

Smith

H. L.

(1999). Subjective well-being: Three decades of progress. Psychological Bulletin, 125(2), 276–302. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.125.2.276

11.

Diener

Tay

(2017). A scientific review of the remarkable benefits of happiness for successful and healthy living. In Adler

Unanue

Osin

Alkire

(Eds.), Happiness: Transforming the Developmental Landscape (Vol. 6, pp. 90–117). The Centre for Bhutan Studies and GNH.

12.

Dorry

Burk

C. L.

Stertz

A. M.

Wiese

B. S.

(2023). Longing for grandparenthood: Its association with life satisfaction in late middle adulthood. Psychology and Aging, 38(4), 333–344. https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000723

13.

Drew

L. M.

Silverstein

(2007). Grandparents’ psychological well-being after loss of contact with their grandchildren. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 372–379. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.21.3.372

14.

Edmonds

W. A.

Kennedy

T. D.

(2016). An applied guide to research designs: Quantitative, qualitative, and mixed methods. Sage Publications.

15.

Faul

Erdfelder

Buchner

Lang

A.-G.

(2009). Statistical power analyzes using G*Power 3.1: Tests for correlation and regression analyses. Behavior Research Methods, 41(4), 1149–1160. https://doi.org/10.3758/BRM.41.4.1149

16.

Faul

Erdfelder

Lang

A.-G.

Buchner

(2007). G*power 3: A flexible statistical power analysis program for the social, behavioral, and biomedical sciences. Behavior Research Methods, 39(2), 175–191. https://doi.org/10.3758/BF03193146

17.

Gold

J. M.

(2015). Intergenerational attachments in stepfamilies: Facilitating the role of the step-grandparents. The Family Journal, 23(2), 194–200. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480715572979

18.

Golly

C. H.

(2016). Pruning the family tree: The plight of grandparents who are alienated from their grandchildren. The Journal of Aging and Social Change, 7(2), 21–31. https://doi.org/10.18848/2160-1909/CGP/v07i02/21-31

19.

Golly

C. A.

(2019). Grandparents Cut Off from Grandchildren: An Exploratory Study (Doctoral dissertation), Barry University.

20.

Harman

J. J.

Kruk

Hines

D. A.

(2018). Parental alienating behaviors: An unacknowledged form of family violence. Psychological Bulletin, 144(12), 1275–1299. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000175

21.

Humphrey

K. M.

(2009). Counseling strategies for loss and grief. American Counseling Association.

22.

Jappens

Van Bavel

(2019). Relationships with grandparents and grandchildren’s well-being after parental divorce. European Sociological Review, 35(6), 757–771. https://doi.org/10.1093/esr/jcz033

23.

Kaganas

Piper

(2020). Grandparent contact: Another presumption? Journal of Social Welfare and Family Law, 42(2), 176–203. https://doi.org/10.1080/09649069.2020.1751932

24.

Kaiser

Otterbach

Sousa-Poza

(2022). Using machine learning to uncover the relation between age and life satisfaction. Scientific Reports, 12(1), 5263. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-09018-x

25.

Kepic

. (2021). Blindsided by COVID-19: Endeavoring Through Unexpected Death-Related Loss. The Advocate Magazine, a Publication of the American Mental Health Counselor Association, 44(2), 16–19.

26.

Lee

(2024). Validation of the satisfaction with life scale for Korean older adults using item response theory. Journal of Health Psychology, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/13591053241233461

27.

Leimer

van Ewijk

(2022). Are grandchildren good for you? Well-being and health effects of becoming a grandparent. Social Science & Medicine, 313(November, 2022), 115392. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2022.115392

28.

Lincoln

Guba

E. G.

(1985). Naturalistic inquiry. Sage.

29.

Mackenzie

C. S.

Scott

Mather

Sareen

(2008). Older adults’ help-seeking attitudes and treatment beliefs concerning mental health problems. The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 16(12), 1010–1019. https://doi.org/10.1097/JGP.0b013e31818cd3be

30.

Meyer

M. H.

Kandic

(2017). Grandparenting in the United States. Innovation in Aging, 1(2), igx023. https://doi.org/10.1093/geroni/igx023

31.

Myers

J. E.

Harper

M. C.

(2004). Evidence-based effective practices with older adults. Journal of Counseling & Development, 82(2), 207–218. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6678.2004.tb00304.x

32.

Neimeyer

R. A.

(2005). Widowhood, grief, and the quest for meaning: A narrative perspective on resilience. In Carr

Nees

R. M.

Wortman

C. B.

(Eds.), Late-life widowhood in the United States (pp. 227–252). Springer.

33.

Nelson-Kakulla

(2019). 2018 Grandparents Today National Survey: General Population Report. AARP. https://2018 Grandparents Today National Survey (aarp.org)

34.

Neugarten

B. L.

Havighurst

R. J.

Tobin

S. S.

(1961). The measurement of life satisfaction. Journal of Gerontology, 16(2), 134–143. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronj/16.2.134

35.

Nowell

L. S.

Norris

J. M.

White

D. E.

Moules

N. J.

(2017). Thematic analysis: Striving to meet thetrustworthiness criteria. International Journal of Qualitative Methods, 16(1). https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406917733847

36.

Pavot

Diener

(1993). Review of the satisfaction with life scale. Psychological Assessment, 5(2), 164–172. https://doi.org/10.1037/1040-3590.5.2.164

37.

Pinson-Millburn

N. M.

Fabian

E. S.

Schlossberg

N. K.

Pyle

(1996). Grandparents raising grandchildren. Journal of Counseling & Development, 74(6), 548–554. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.1996.tb02291.x

38.

Purol

M. F.

Keller

V. N.

Chopik

W. J.

Lucas

R. E.

(2021). Loved and lost or never loved at all? Lifelong marital histories and their links with subjective well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 16(5), 651–659. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2020.1791946

39.

Reczek

Stacey

Thomeer

M. B.

(2023). Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 85(2), 494–517. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12898

40.

Reynolds

K. A.

Mackenzie

C. S.

Medved

Dudok

Koven

(2023). Older adults’ mental health information preferences: A call for more balanced information to empower older adults’ mental health help-seeking. Ageing and Society, 43(12), 2845–2874. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X21001896

41.

Shear

M. K.

(2012). Grief and mourning gone awry: Pathway and course of complicated grief. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 14(2), 119–128. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshear

42.

Smith

P. H.

Delgado

(2020). Working with non-death losses in counseling: An overview of grief needs and approaches. Adultspan Journal, 19(2), 118–127. https://doi.org/10.1002/adsp.12100

43.

Stevens-Ratchoford

(2011). Longstanding occupation: The relation of the continuity and meaning of productive occupation to life satisfaction and successful aging. Activities, Adaptation & Aging, 35(2), 131–150. https://doi.org/10.1080/01924788.2011.574255

44.

Teo

Churchill

Riadi

Kervin

Wister

A. V.

Cosco

T. D.

(2022). Help-seeking behaviors among older adults: A scoping review. Journal of Applied Gerontology, 41(5), 1500–1510. https://doi.org/10.1177/07334648211067710

45.

Westrick-Payne

K. K

. (2023). Prevalence of grandparenthood in the U.S., 2021. Family Profile, FP-23-02. National Center for Family & Marriage Research (NCFMR). https://doi.org/10.25035/ncfmr/fp-23-02

46.

Woods

Kirk

Agarwal

Annandale

Arthur

Harvey

Hsu

Katbamna

Olsen

Smith

Riley

Sutton

. (2005). Vulnerable groups and access to health care: A critical interpretive review (Vol. 27). National Coordinating Centre NHS Service Delivery Organ RD (NCCSDO).