Promoting Social Visibility for Single-Father Families Created by Surrogacy

Abstract

The phenomenon of single-father families created by surrogacy is a social event that lacks visibility. The dominant thinking regarding parenting is framed by heteronormativity, which establishes couplehood of different sexes as the acceptable and biologically grounded way to reproduce and raise children, leading to the lack of visibility of single men who want to be or are already fathers. For these men, there are two main possible paths: adoption or surrogacy. In this occasional essay, we will discuss the importance of creating social visibility for single men who want to become or are already fathers through surrogacy to provide enlightening information about the phenomenon, creating positive models for single gay or straight men who choose this method to fulfill their parenting ambitions. We will begin by establishing some introductory social considerations, followed by some explanations for why single men wish to pursue surrogacy and their experiences. We then provide research results from the field and respective conclusions. We argue that creating social visibility for single parents through surrogacy is a form of social change that could facilitate the deconstruction of traditionalist views of the concept of family.

Introduction

In the last few decades, views about the family have changed considerably in the Western world, from the strictly traditional notion of a father and a mother to single-parent and same-sex families, challenging the idea of an inherent link between parenthood and couplehood and allowing the creation of families consisting of single people who choose surrogacy to become parents (Golombok, 2015). These parents defy traditional social views of what it means to be a family, embarking on a path of vulnerability and resilience in search of a family they can call their own (Maya & Adital, 2021b). Navigating this path can put some single men who desire to become a father through surrogacy in conflict with preestablished social and political structures; namely, those of motherhood. Thus, these men have a need to build an alternative social narrative about what it means to be a father, rather than submit to a gender ideology that says that only women can be single parents (Maya & Adital, 2019).

In some countries, such as Israel, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada, surrogacy has been the most common way for single men, especially gay men, to become fathers in the last decade. This has provided insight into how social scripts can evolve: from the rejection of the heteronormative idea of natality to the separation of parenting from couple-based relationships to the replacement of these discourses by a vision based on surrogacy that allows anyone, through medically assisted reproduction (MAR), the possibility of becoming a family (Knoll & Moreno, 2020).

The medicalization of procreation has, however, created a much-debated view about having children through surrogacy in recent decades (Armour, 2012). Whether altruistic or commercial, traditional or gestational, a single man’s decision to become a father through surrogacy must be understood as a manifestation of empowerment and not as a deviation from the medicalization of reproduction, where surrogates’ pregnant bodies are seen as “incubators” or “bodies for sale” (Maya & Adital, 2021a). On the contrary, surrogacy has the potential to expand social norms, allowing the creation of families where it was previously impossible. This is especially the case with gestational surrogacy, where the embryo results from in vitro fertilization (IVF) of gametes from the egg donor and the intended father and is subsequently transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, because under these circumstances, there is no genetic connection between the surrogate and the child (Igreja & Ricou, 2019).

Surrogacy, seen as an agreement in which a woman agrees to bear a baby for others, has important sociopolitical implications, including legal ones. There are 36 countries in the world with surrogacy laws on the books, but most of them forbid access to single men (Liu & Bice, 2021). Countries that allow, or at least do not exclude, single men from accessing MAR via surrogacy are far fewer and include the United States, Georgia, Mexico, and Colombia. This means that when a single man wants to become a father through surrogacy, he must also face the challenges associated with the fact that his fatherhood will be legally unrecognized in most countries (Krajewska & Cahill-O’Callaghan, 2020).

The number of single-father families in general, as well as those created specifically through surrogacy, is unknown and difficult to ascertain. In the European Union, for example, 2.6% of households are made up of single-father families, although this is probably the result of divorces, adoptions, and, eventually, surrogacy (Eurostat, 2019). In the United States, it is estimated that over two million men are single fathers, approximately 17% of the single-parent population (U.S. Census Bureau, 2017). More systematic studies are needed until a global perspective can be developed on how many single-father families there are—although, according to some MAR agencies that offer surrogacy to intended single fathers, this number is high and is likely to increase.

The overall lack of research and social visibility of single-father families, defined as the position within a group as perceived by others (Zee & Bolger, 2019), not only indicates that these families are often overlooked in society, but also actively marginalizes these individuals. As proposed by Krajewska and Cahill-O’Callaghan (2020), invisibilization is a concept that explains how single fathers, who are not legally protected to the degree that coupled fathers and single mothers are, are kept out of the common field of vision. In doing this, these intended single fathers can have legal actions taken against them that either prohibit them from becoming fathers or prohibit them from receiving support once they are fathers without these actions being questioned by the public. Furthermore, invisibility has been found to be levied through microaggressions (Wilkins-Yel et al., 2019), which are “brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavior and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative slights and insults to the target group” and can have negative impacts on both physical and mental health (Sue et al., 2007). Due to the negative legal, social, and health-related consequences of invisibilization, this essay argues the importance of promoting social visibility for single-father families created through surrogacy.

Motivations to Pursue Surrogacy and Experiences of Single Fathers

Studies on the motivations and experiences of single men who intend to become parents through surrogacy are still scarce and are largely mediated by invisibility. Even so, some studies show that the motivations and experiences of these men are very much shaped by the laws in the country where they choose to pursue surrogacy, or by access to specific information available through national and international agencies (Gunnarsson Payne, 2020). On the other hand, they are hindered by social norms based on heteronormativity, stigmatization, and gender hegemony (Fantus & Newman, 2019). Regardless, these men are generally motivated by the desire to be a biological father and to promote parental connections, as well as by negative opinions about the adoption system and by positive experiences with other single parents who chose surrogacy to fulfill their desire of becoming a parent (Fantus & Newman, 2019). Irrespective of sexual orientation, most men say that they want to become single fathers because they want a genetic relation to their child and felt that surrogacy was safer than adoption due to the legal constraints associated with that process (Carone et al., 2017).

The experiences that single fathers have with surrogacy tend to be positive in cases where they are given adequate information about the entire process, usually by specialized agencies, have contact with fertility clinics with successful IVF practices, have good post-birth documentation and resource, have a welcoming family, and a cultural environment respectful of the surrogacy decision (Fantus, 2021). Furthermore, most single fathers say that they are satisfied with the decision to do it alone, even though they would have preferred to have had a partner when they became parents. Most also say they have received support from family and friends (Carone et al., 2017).

Research on Single Fatherhood by Surrogacy

Research on single-father families created by surrogacy is still scarce and usually involves the study of father–child relationships, parenting quality, and children’s psychological adjustment. While some studies have included single fathers of all sexual orientations and others have focused only on gay single fathers, research indicates that children of single fathers function well (Green et al., 2019) and that variations in children’s psychological adjustment are more linked to family processes than family structure (Carone et al., 2020). Furthermore, one study found that, being a rare type of family formation, a family conceived through surrogacy can promote secure attachment for children, and that single fathers, regardless of their sexual orientation, can constitute safe havens in which children can invest themselves emotionally (Ruiz-Robledillo & Albiol, 2016). This means that, from an empirical point of view, there is no reason to believe that children raised by single fathers through surrogacy face any increased emotional risk, and they may actually experience emotional advantages due to their family formation. Therefore, single men should not be banned from accessing MAR procedures.

Importantly, another focus of single-father family research has examined the role of microaggressions on family experiences. For example, an Italian study (Carone, Lingiardi, et al., 2021) demonstrated the effect of microaggressions on sensitivity and rough-and-tumble play in gay and heterosexual single-father families created by surrogacy. Irrespective of sexual orientation, single fathers who also perceived more frequent microaggressions due to their family form reported a higher tendency to “brood” in response to stress, which was, in turn, linked to reduced sensitivity in interactions with their children. Another study from the United States (Green et al., 2019) focused specifically on gay fathers through surrogacy found that higher levels of antigay microaggressions were associated with greater stigma consciousness and less positive parenting. These results show that explicit and overt stigmatization, whether it be due to family form or sexual orientation, may be detrimental to the parent–child relationship in single-father families.

The COVID-19 pandemic has also been found to pose unique challenges to single-father families created by surrogacy. One study, which focused on the psychological implications of the COVID-19 pandemic on father–child bonding and mental health among Italian intended single gay fathers pursuing cross-border surrogacy, found that fathers who had their child during the pandemic reported more severe depression and anxiety and lower quality of father–child bolding than fathers who had their child before the pandemic (Carone, Manzi, et al., 2021). This research highlights the need for a greater understanding of the unique challenges that the COVID-19 pandemic has posed to single-father families created by surrogacy to better support these families in meaningful ways.

Conclusion

Single men can choose to be biological parents through surrogacy—namely, through egg donation and embryo implantation—and forge a biological bond with their child without having a partner. Despite the social evolution of recent decades, there are still many negative attitudes toward surrogacy in most societies, especially in more conservative and religious areas. However, it is clear that there is no valid empirical reason why single men, regardless of their sexual orientation, cannot become fathers through surrogacy, with declared benefits for all those involved (intended father, surrogate, and child). In fact, one cannot advocate risks or harms to family functioning, parent–child relationship, psychological well-being, and emotional development of the child on account of this type of family formation.

That being said, it is vital that society promote visibility of single-father families, as microaggressions have been shown to have adverse impacts on single fathers and father–child relationships. Because these adverse impacts are a result of prejudiced social beliefs, rather than the father or family formation, increasing visibility and combating prejudices will result in more positive outcomes for single-father families created by surrogacy.

Furthermore, it is important to support policies that make MAR practices accessible to single men in countries where surrogacy is legal or regularized. It is also necessary to deconstruct barriers to MAR technologies for single men that are based on prejudice and misconception, through specific training of health professionals working in the field on recognizing, dealing with, and mitigating individually held biases and assumptions.

The social scripts associated with the narratives of what it means to be a single man who wants to become a father through surrogacy requires a new understanding and conceptualization of what family, body, and fatherhood means, creating a greater multidimensionality and openness compared with traditional categories. MARs are not just reproductive technologies; they are also human technologies that embody human existence and what it means to procreate. There is no single right or best way to procreation, and single men should feel respected and legitimated in their decision to become parents through surrogacy. Single men should not have to remain invisible or create visibility at the expense of confronting a society that judges them.

The meaning of being a single father through surrogacy is a social identity construction related to the personal contribution of a man’s parental desires, and family extension. His choice is legitimate, autonomous, and resilient in the face of dominant models of parenting and masculinity, as it is based on attachment, commitment, and interdependence with their children and not on gender, couplehood, or parenthood.

Creating social visibility for single fathers through surrogacy is also a form of social change that could facilitate the deconstruction of traditionalist views of the concept of family. Single fatherhood is an example of social discussion in the context of family societies with implications for social and health policies. Legitimizing single men’s parenting through surrogacy is an affirmation of their freedom of choice, stepping out of their personal sphere and creating positive models that allow other single men to make informed future choices about their parenting decisions.

Future studies should continue to investigate the dynamics of families created by single fathers through surrogacy, namely in relation to the conceptualization of their sense of family, diversity, and adversity, responsibly informing all social actors (families, child care providers, policy makers) and thus challenging discrimination and promoting resilience to long-term positive adaptation.