Nonphysical forms of partner aggression are common and more harmful than is widely recognized. Such aggression does not leave physical marks but nonetheless predicts invisible harm, including unhappiness and psychological distress. Most individuals do not end their relationship the moment a partner becomes aggressive. Instead they may deny, minimize, or justify the aggression, particularly when they are strongly committed to their relationship. Perceptions that downplay a partner’s aggression may protect and prolong a relationship, putting individuals at risk for greater harm. This article presents a model of the causes and consequences of downplaying partner aggression and describes the relevance of commitment for understanding aggression-related perceptions and interventions.
ArriagaX. B. (2002). Joking violence among highly committed individuals. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 591–610.
2.
ArriagaX. B.CapezzaN. M. (2011). The paradox of partner aggression: Being committed to an aggressive partner. In MikulincerM.ShaverP. (Eds.), Understanding and reducing aggression and their consequences (pp. 367–383). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
3.
ArriagaX. B.CapezzaN. M.DalyC. A. (2016). Personal standards for judging aggression by a relationship partner: How much aggression is too much?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 110, 36–54.
4.
ArriagaX. B.CapezzaN. M.GoodfriendW.RaylE. S.SandsK. J. (2013). Individual well-being and relationship maintenance at odds: The unexpected perils of maintaining a relationship with an aggressive partner. Social Psychological & Personality Science, 4, 676–684.
5.
ArriagaX. B.SchkeryantzE. L. (2015). Intimate relationships and personal distress: The invisible harm of psychological aggression. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41, 1332–1344.
6.
CapezzaN. M.ArriagaX. B. (2008). You can degrade but you can’t hit: Differences in acceptability of psychological versus physical aggression. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, 225–245.
7.
DunhamK.SennC. Y. (2000). Minimizing negative experiences: Women’s disclosure of partner abuse. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 15, 251–261.
8.
EstefanL. F.CoulterM. L.VandeWeerdC. (2016). Depression in women who have left a violent relationship: The unique impact of frequent emotional abuse. Violence Against Women, 22, 1397–1413.
9.
FlynnA.GrahamK. (2010). “Why did it happen?” A review and conceptual framework for research on perpetrators’ and victims’ explanations for intimate partner violence. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 15, 239–251.
10.
FollingstadD. R.CoyneS.GamboneL. (2005). A representative measure of psychological aggression and its severity. Violence and Victims, 20, 25–38.
11.
FollingstadD. R.RogersM. (2014). The nature and prevalence of partner psychological abuse in a national sample of adults. Violence and Victims, 29, 3–23. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.09-160
12.
FollingstadD. R.RutledgeL. L.BergB. J.HauseE. S.PolekD. S. (1990). The role of emotional abuse in physically abusive relationships. Journal of Family Violence, 1, 37–49.
13.
GoodfriendW.AgnewC. R. (2008). Sunken costs and desired plans: Examining different types of investments in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 1639–1652.
14.
HinesD. A.SaudinoK. J. (2003). Gender differences in psychological, physical, and sexual aggression among college students using the Revised Conflict Tactics Scales. Violence and Victims, 18, 197–217.
15.
JohnsonM. P. (2006). Violence and abuse in personal relationships: Conflict, terror, and resistance in intimate partnerships. In VangelistiA. L.PerlmanD. (Eds.), The Cambridge handbook of personal relationships (1st ed., pp. 557–576). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.
16.
KirkwoodC. (1993). Leaving abusive partners: From the scars of survival to the wisdom for change. London, England: SAGE.
17.
LawrenceE.YoonJ.LangerA.RoE. (2009). Is psychological aggression as detrimental as physical aggression? The independent effects of psychological aggression on depression and anxiety symptoms. Violence and Victims, 24, 20–35.
18.
MurphyC. M.HooverS. A. (1999). Measuring emotional abuse in dating relationships as a multifactorial construct. Violence and Victims, 14, 39–53.
19.
RichardsonD. S. (2014). Everyday aggression takes many forms. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23, 220–224.
20.
RusbultC. E.MartzJ. M. (1995). Remaining in an abusive relationship: An investment model analysis of nonvoluntary dependence. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21, 558–571.
21.
RusbultC. E.MartzJ. M.AgnewC. R. (1998). The Investment Model Scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. Personal Relationships, 5, 357–391.
22.
StrausM. A.HambyS. L.Boney-McCoyS.SugarmanD. B. (1996). The revised Conflict Tactics Scales (CTS2): Development and preliminary psychometric data. Journal of Family Issues, 17, 283–316.
23.
TaftC. T.O’FarrellT. J.TorresS. E.PanuzioJ.MonsonC. M.MurphyM.MurphyC. M. (2006). Examining the correlates of psychological aggression among a community sample of couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 20, 581–588. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.20.4.581
24.
TanK.ArriagaX. B.AgnewC. R. (2018). Running on empty: Measuring psychological dependence in close relationships lacking satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35, 977–998. doi:10.1177/08654075177020
25.
WilsonT. D.GilbertD. T. (2005). Affective forecasting: Knowing what to want. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14, 131–134.
26.
ZadroL.ArriagaX. B.WilliamsK. D. (2008). Relational ostracism. In ForgasJ. P.FitnessJ. (Eds.), Social relationships: Cognitive, affective, and motivational processes (pp. 305–319). New York, NY: Psychology Press.
