`I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say "No"': A Gender Difference in Children's Perception of Refusals

Abstract

An understanding of children's interpretation of refusal statements is an important element in understanding the way girls are encouraged to cooperate with their own oppression. Refusing is a particularly important survival skill for girls growing up in a patriarchal society where boys are trained to be active but girls are trained to be compliant. In each of three samples (N = 27; N = 36; N = 20), girls differed from boys in their identification of a simple `No' as the refusal most likely to annoy an adult. Three possible explanations were explored: compared with boys, girls are less defiant; girls are more advanced; and that their perceptions are accurate. Support was found for the third explanation only. These results are discussed in terms of their implications for reassessing the role of refusals to resolve some of the contradictions around expectations of obedience and assertiveness, while recognizing the interests which benefit from keeping girls and women obedient.

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