“The Only Self-Defense I Have is My Wedding Band”: Doing Heterosexuality,Evading Gender Harassment,and Becoming Respectable in the Street

Abstract

The field of critical heterosexualities studies invites sociologists to untether heterosexuality from biology. In this article, I leverage the findings of 113 interviews with a racially diverse sample of cis and trans women to examine how women maintain everyday dignity in the street despite widespread gender harassment and systemic, racialized sexual inequalities. Drawing on social constructionist theory and applying an intersectional framework, I examine heterosexuality as a performance, uncovering how gender identity, race, and sexual orientation intersect to shape both the costs and benefits of “doing heterosexuality” in the street. Through practices such as wearing wedding rings, holding the hands of men friends, and displaying affection for men in public places, straight, queer, cis, and trans women creatively resist heteronormativity’s regulation of their social-sexual lives and strive to enunciate sexual unavailability; communicate the existence of a protector; and signal respectability by demonstrating conformity with racialized, cisnormative ideals of gender and sexual normativity. Findings demonstrate that racialized, queer, and trans participants tend to experience greater emotional costs and fewer symbolic rewards associated with “doing heterosexuality” than white, straight-identified, and cis participants. This intersectional analysis enriches extant research on gender and sexuality, illuminating the utility of the “doing heterosexuality” framework for uncovering intersections between heterosexual accountability and gender inequality across diverse organizational and interpersonal contexts.

Plain Language Summary

“The Only Self-Defense I Have is My Wedding Band”: Doing Heterosexuality, Evading Gender Harassment, and Becoming Respectable in the Street

Every day, cis and trans women are harassed by stranger men in public places with rude comments and unsolicited evaluations of their gender identities, racial/ethnic backgrounds, and sexualities. My interview-based research with over 100 cis and trans women demonstrates that women creatively perform partnered heterosexuality to deter harassers. Whether or not they identify as “straight,” queer, trans, cis, and heterosexual women hold the hands of men friends, wear fake wedding and engagement rings, and display affection for men friends, romantic partners, and co-workers to deter stranger men’s unwelcome intrusions. For racial minority, trans, and queer women, performing heterosexuality is labor-intensive and only partially effective in deterring men’s intrusions.