The purpose of this study was to explore how working in the fields of domestic violence and sexual assault affects the romantic and sexual lives of providers. In total, 18 individuals were recruited using the personal and professional networks of the authors. Participants completed a brief survey and then participated virtually in either individual interviews or focus groups. Quantitative data were analyzed descriptively, and qualitative data were analyzed using reflexive thematic analysis. Participants had worked in domestic and/or sexual violence for between 1 and 30 years, with a mean of 12 years, across a variety of settings. They described a range of sexual and romantic attractions, and 14 were currently in a relationship. Across the full sample, 16 (89%) stated that their work had impacted their romantic relationships and 13 (72%) their sexual relationships. Analysis identified themes in two areas. The first, relating to the personal lives of the participants, included impacts on desire, lack of interest in dating and relationships, issues with power and control, conflicting perspectives on men, parenting concerns, self-doubt, and protective factors at home. The second, relating to their professional lives, included concerns about what they were and were not taught, problems with inadequate support at work, ideas for improvement, and protective factors in the workplace. These data suggest that working in the fields of domestic violence and sexual assault can have profound impacts on the romantic and sexual lives of providers. Furthermore, working in these fields can fundamentally change the way that providers see the men in their lives—and affect not only adult relationships but the relationships providers have with their children. We provide suggestions for how agencies can better support providers and their employees to mitigate the negative impacts of this work on their personal lives to create more sustainable careers in the field.
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