“I Felt Dirty in a Way a Shower Wouldn’t Fix”: A Qualitative Examination of Sexual Trauma-Related Mental Contamination

Abstract

Trauma-related mental contamination (MC) is a distressing sense of dirtiness that arises absent a contaminant following a traumatic event. Existing work has linked MC to more severe posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms among individuals with sexual trauma histories and has begun to characterize some aspects of the experience of trauma-related MC. However, a more nuanced understanding of how individuals experience and respond to trauma-related MC is lacking. The present study explored lived experiences of trauma-related MC among a sample of 34 women with sexual trauma histories using semi-structured qualitative interviews. Women were asked about MC across several domains, including somatic locations where trauma-related MC is experienced; triggers for trauma-related MC; and engagement in MC-related coping strategies, including washing behaviors. Women reported experiencing trauma-related MC in various bodily locations (internal, external, and both). Both overtly trauma-related triggers (e.g., trauma-relevant people or words, sexual contact) and non-trauma-related triggers (e.g., sweating, being around other people) were mentioned. Women also reported experiencing a variety of emotions alongside trauma-related MC (e.g., disgust, shame, anger) and using a range of strategies to cope with trauma-related MC, including washing behaviors, distraction, and substance use. Findings suggest that triggers for and responses to trauma-related MC are heterogeneous. Future work should explore the role of context in individuals’ experiences of and responses to trauma-related MC, as well as whether experiences of trauma-related MC may differ by gender or across settings. Increased understanding of trauma-related MC may inform efforts to more readily and effectively identify and target MC in clinical practice.