The central thesis of this article is that the ideology and structure of
the U.S. family generates excessive parental dependence on children
for validation; self-esteem; and, in some cases, intimacy and that this
dependence is the cornerstone of enmeshed parent-child relationships.
The article concludes with a discussion of alternative approaches to
child rearing. The empirical base for the analysis is the author's clinical
experience and in-depth life-history interviews with 48 Caucasian
men and women of diverse ages and classes.
References
1.
Aries, P. (1962). Centuries of childhood: A social history of family life (R. Baldick, Trans.). New York: Vintage.
2.
Bachman, J. G. (1987, July). An eye on the future. Psychology Today, pp. 6, 8.
3.
Beard, M. R. (1946). Women as force in history. New York: Macmillan .
4.
Bem, S. L. (1974). The measurement of psychological androgyny Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology , 42, 155-162.
5.
Bem, S. L. (1977). On the utility of alternative procedures for assessing psychological androgyny. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 45, 196-205.
6.
Bem, S. L. (1983). Gender schema theory and its implications for child development : Raising gender-schematic children in a gender-schematic society. Signs, 8, 598-616.
7.
Bernard, J. (1971). The paradox of the happy marriageIn V Gornick.and B.K.Moran (Eds.),Women in sexist society: Studies in power and powerlessness (pp. 145-162). New York: Basic Books.
8.
Bernard, J. (1982). The future of marriage. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
9.
Bettleheim, B. (1969). The children of the dream: Communal child-rearing and American education. New York: Avon.
10.
Bograd, M. (1987). Enmeshment, fusion or relatedness? A conceptual analysis. Journal of Psychotherapy and the Family, 3(4), 65-78.
11.
Cancian, F. M. (1987). Love in America: Gender and self-development. New York: Cambridge University Press.
12.
Chess, S., & Thomas, A. (1982). Infant bonding: Mystique and reality . American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 52, 213-222.
13.
Chodorow, N. (1978). The reproduction of mothering: Psychoanalysis and the sociology of gender. Berkeley: University of California Press.
14.
Dinnerstein, D. (1976). The mermaid and the minotaur: Sexual arrangements and human malaise. New York: Harper & Row.
15.
Ehrensaft, D. (1987). Parenting together: Men and women sharing the care of their children. New York: Free Press.
16.
Greene, W. A., Goldstein, S., & Moss, A. J. ( 1972). Psychosocial aspects of sudden death. Archives of Internal Medicine, 129, 725-731.
17.
Greenfield, P. M. (1981). Child care in cross-cultural perspective: Implications for the future organization of child care in the United States. Psychology of Women Quarterly , 61, 41-54.
18.
Harris, C. C. (1983). The family and industrial society. London: Allen & Unwin.
19.
Held, V. (1984). The obligations of mothers and fathers. In J.Trebilcot(Ed.), Mothering: Essays in feminist theory (pp. 7-20). Totowa, NJ: Rowman & Allenheld.
20.
Jones, D. (1976). Urban native men and women: Differences in their work adaptations. Anchorage: University of Alaska, Institute of Social & Economic Research.
21.
Lasch, C. (1978). The culture of narcissism: American life in an age of diminishing expectations. New York: Norton.
22.
Laslett, B. (1979). The significance of family membership. In V.Tufte & B. Myerhood (Eds.), Changing images of the family (pp. 231-250. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
23.
Levi, D. L., Stierlin, H. , & Savard, R. J. ( 1972). Fathers and sons: The interlocking crises of integrity and identity. Psychiatry, 35(4), 48-56.
24.
Newsom, J., & Newsom, E. (1976). Seven years old in the home environment . London: Allen & Unwin .
25.
Poster, M. (1978). The critical theory of the family. London: Pluto .
26.
Rubin, L. B. (1983). Intimate strangers: Men and women together. New York: Harper & Row.
27.
Sennett, R. (1978). The fall of public man: On the social psychology of capitalism. New York: Vintage Books.
28.
Sennett, R., & Cobb, J. (1973). The hidden injuries of class. New York: Vintage Books.
29.
Steil, J. M., & Turetsky, B. A. (1987). Is equal better? The relationship between marital equality and psychological symptomatology . In S. Oskamp (Ed.), Family processes and problems: Social psychological aspects (pp. 73-97). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
30.
Stierlin, H. J., Levi, D. , & Savard, R. J. ( 1971). Parental perception of separating children . Family Process, 10, 411-427.
31.
Weissbourd, B., & Kagan, S. L. (1989). Family support programs: Catalysts for change. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 59, 20-31.