Shame: The Enemy within

Abstract

This article describes the author's understanding of shame and the relationship between shame and enmity. “The enemy” does not merely represent hostile external forces, but also dark forces within the self that lead to inner conflicts. The expression of these dark forces may be recognized in dreams; by the use of words such as devil, demon, Satan, fascist, or nazi in relation to self or other; and in religious fundamentalism. Such expressions may represent inner fantasies and/or feelings from childhood, introjections that symbolize the “bad parent.” By projecting the destructive parent onto others, the child, and later the adult, relieves his or her fears and discomfort. The division or split between “good” and “evil” forces is a universal phenomenon affecting individual lives, groups, and nations. These ideas are illustrated with clinical examples, comments on Sophocles' version of the Oedipus myth, and a critique of Freud's concept of the Oedipus complex, including how abuse and shame in his personal life influenced his theory.

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Alonso

Rutan

J. S.

(1988). Shame and guilt in psychotherapy supervision. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy, 25 576–581.

Benjamine

(1990). The bonds of love. London: Virago Press.

Berne

(1972). What do you say after you say hello?: The psychology of human destiny. New York: Grove Press.

Broucek

(1991). Shame and the self. New York: Guilford.

Cashdon

(1988). Object relations therapy. New York: Norton.

Declan. (1992). A touring exhibition by a Tiwi artist on “The Purukuparli myth” ( West

M. K. C.

, Ed., Curator of Aboriginal Anthropology, Museum and Art Gallery, Northern Territory). Darwin, Australia.

Fossum

M. A.

Mason

M. J.

(1986). Facing shame: Families in recovery. New York: Norton.

Freud

(1955). A child is being beaten: A contribution to the study of the origin of sexual perversions. In Strachey

(Ed. and Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 17, pp. 179–204). London: Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1919).

Goldberg

(1991). Understanding shame–healing shame. London: Jason Aronson.

10.

Jung

C.G.

(1956). The symbols of transformation. London: Rutledge and Kegen Paul.

11.

Keen

(1986). Faces of the enemy: Reflections of the hostile imagination. San Francisco: Harper and Row.

12.

Lewis

H. B.

(1971). Shame and guilt in neurosis. New York: International University Press.

13.

May

(1991). The cry for myth. New York: Delta Books.

14.

Miller

(1983). The drama of the gifted child: The search for the true self ( Ward

, Trans.). New York: Basic Books. (Original work published 1981 as Prisoners of childhood).

15.

Miller

(1983). For your own good: Hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence ( Hannum

Hannum

, Trans.). New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux.

16.

Miller

(1984). Thou shalt not be aware: Society's betrayal of the child ( Hannum

Hannum

, Trans.). New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux. (Original work published 1981).

17.

Nathanson

D. L.

(Ed.). (1987). The many faces of shame. New York: Guilford.

18.

Onions

C. T.

(1973). The shorter Oxford English dictionary of historical principles (3rd. ed.). Oxford: Clarendon Press.

19.

Reed

A. W.

(1972). Maori myth and legend. Birkenhead, Auckland, New Zealand: Reed Books.

20.

Rose

H. J.

(1949). Oracle. In The encyclopedia Britannica (Vol. 16, pp. 830–832). Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica.

21.

Sachev

P. S.

(1990). Whakama: Culturally determined behavior in New Zealand Maori. Psychological Medicine, 20 433–444.

22.

Sharpe

(1987). Shame in Papua-New Guinea. Group Analysis, 20 43–48.

23.

Shengold

(1993). “The boy will come to nothing!”: Freud's ego ideal and Freud as ego ideal. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

24.

Sophocles (1947). The Theban plays. ( Watling

E. F.

Rieu

E. V.

, Ed.). London: Penguin Books. (Original work published circa 400 BC).

25.

Steiner

C. M.

(1974). Scripts people live: Transactional analysis of life scripts. New York: Grove Press.

26.

Stettbacher

J. K.

(1991). Making sense of suffering. New York: Penguin Group.

27.

Wurmser

(1981). The mask of shame. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press.

28.

Zur

(1991). The love of hating: The psychology of enmity. In The history of European ideas (Vol. 13, No. 4, pp. 345–369). Great Britain: Pergamon Press.