Shame and self-righteousness are intrapsychic dynamics that help the individual defend against a rupture in relationship. This article discusses how, from a script perspective, shame is comprised of the script belief “Something's wrong with me,” formed as a result of messages and decisions, conclusions in response to impossible demands, and defensive hope and control. In addition, from an ego state perspective, shame involves a diminished self-concept in compliance with criticism, a defensive transposition of sadness and fear, and disavowal of anger. Furthermore, archaic shame may be either a Child or a Parent ego state fixation. The suggestion is made that self-righteousness is the denial of a need for relationship. A contact-oriented relationship psychotherapy that emphasizes methods of inquiry, attunement, and involvement is described.
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