The Prince or Princess,the Tadpole,and the Frog

Abstract

In the opinion of Steiner (1975), “The first and most important concept… which Berne introduced to psychiatry is embodied in his aphorism ‘People are born princes and princesses, until their parents turn them into frogs’” (p. 2). The present paper, taking this view, examines its historical background and its theoretical and practical implications for today. It goes into such questions as: How does the parent work that magic? What are the essential differences between the prince or princess and the frog? How does it feel to be the former, then be reduced to the latter? Can the mature frog learn to reverse the magic spell and turn itself back into the prince or princess? Which is the deep therapy — This abrupt switch of identity, or gradually becoming a more together and self-sufficient frog jumping energetically round the bog? To what extent is this slow development the precondition of that abrupt metamorphosis? Does the parental black magic ever disfigure — Let alone destroy — The original face of the prince or princess? Or do those royal features remain intact, hidden under the frog-mask that — spellbound — the players have to wear in “The Face Game” or “Confrontation” (Harding, 1967, 1986)? If the aim of TA is that one should become game-free (Berne, 1964, pp. 178 ff.) and not just trade in bad games for better games, and this means dropping even the best masks one is hiding behind, how is this done? These questions are tackled by the writer — a long-time and enthusiastic TA amateur — in the light of his experience over the last thirty years encouraging people to face that crucial issue: what is my true (i.e., game-free) identity? And by the reader who, as a TA professional, is urged to take none of this on trust, but to test all rigorously and in actual practice.