It is ultimately “masochistic” that whereas any school child knows about De Sade, very few people remember L. Von Sacher-Masoch. Concerning the diagnostic term, “moral masochism,” the less said the better, for not only is it rather bad English (how does a moral masochist differ from an immoral one?) but it also represents an attempt to make-believe that the psychoanalytic understanding of the sexual perversion of masochism could explain a dedicated “Kick Me” player. This was about as successful as other games of make-believe, and make it necessary for Berliner, in a series of very good articles, to go to great lengths to establish that psychoanalytic methodology could not be used in these cases. See: Berliner, B. “On Some Psychodynamics of Masochism.” Psychoanalytic Quart., 1947, 16, 459–471; and, “The Role of Object Relations in Moral Masochism.” Psychoanalytic Quart., 1958, 27, 38–56.
2.
Why only women? Well, that's who came to my door- but that, of course, explains nothing. Steiner says that psychiatric problems can be understood by this formula: oppression + self-deception = alienation. (Steiner, C. Radical Psychiatry: Principles. The Radical Therapist, 1971 2 (No. 3, October), 2.) For the problem at hand, I would alter the formula: masochism in women = deception + oppression x male chauvinism. But, let's stay clear on one thing: Masochism is not a disease of the womb! There are cases of male masochism. It would hardly do to repeat that bit of history.
3.
Thus, psychoactive medications are very rarely necessary; even more to the point, they should be vigorously avoided or ignored because they so often are props in games.
4.
Groder (TA Bulletin, 1969, 8, 35–36) discusses both the “Santa Claus” gimmick and identifies “Kick-Me/NIGYSOB” as an interlocking family of games. The situation in which one person plays both games of an interlocking family is explained by Berne's observation that although people typically have preferred games, they know the game that “fits” theirs and in a pinch, can play it. “Pinches seem to happen a lot for these patients.
5.
Of course, the men are “in” on the contract, knowing perfectly well how the action is to unfold. The male players– and, as you might expect, the father of masochists–seem to be men whose Parent is dead-set against anger of any sort, but whose Child is very angry. Periodically, their Child overcomes the Parental surveillance, and they have temper tantrums. Immediately following, they are overcome with remorse (that is, the Parent regains the upper hand), which makes the patient's NIGYSOB extremely effective.
6.
Easy enough to understand this: staying at home with a sadistic Parent and a hostile, rebellious Child would rarely be chosen by anyone.
