Abstract
In
Playwright Matei Visniec, whose play The Man Who Had All His Malice Removed is published in English for the first time in this issue
CREDIT: Andra Badulesco
Author of numerous works of poetry and prose, Visniec is especially well known for his challenging plays. At the centre of his writing is the “dilemmatic” hero of our time, deeply aggressed by centrifugal modernity and its insecurity.
Today, the capitalist economic censorship and the new religious fanaticism of the Islamic dictatorships seem to have replaced, too rapidly, the Nazi and communist totalitarianism that remains a bleak memory for all Eastern European writers. The harsh ways of policing the word are well remembered by Matei and his contemporaries. They un-mask the new faces of oppression in our globalised, late-phase capitalism, with its cruel gap between the have and have nots, with its smart manipulation and corrupted rhetoric.
Visniec’s play The Man Who Had All His Malice Removed – an extract of which is published in English for the first time below – is no exception. It shows he is a writer deeply engaged in our contemporary social issues and yet always careful of aesthetic faithfulness, creating work that is original and stimulating, seductive and acute.
It is perhaps revelatory to draw attention to the last lines of this text, which could apply to many other of Visniec’s works: “This play is a philosophical fable as well as a journalistic fiction. It does not target anyone in particular, with the exception of mankind as a whole.”
The Man Who Had All His Malice Removed
By
Summit 5
A strong smell of coffee in the air. All journalists have cups of coffee in their hands. The spokeswoman joins them, also with a cup in her hand, and is immediately surrounded by the group.
Please make sure you switch your voice recorders, mobiles and other devices off … Everything that happens in this room, stays in this room. Understood?
The journalists nod. Members of the security team make sure that devices are indeed switched off, using mobile scanners that look like mine detectors.
Everything said here is off the record, and we’ll talk informally. I think I know what you are likely to ask, so I’ll try to explain what’s going on.
Chattering between the journalists.
I can confirm that you’ve been chosen to take part in the first ever inter-species cohabitation experiment. We are facing such a radical behavioural change that we decided to evaluate its shock impact first on journalists …
We are guinea pigs, you mean.
Laughter.
In a manner of speaking, yes you are. But at the same time we are relying on your cooperation. Those who feel they don’t wish to continue are free to leave right now.
Silence. No one budges.
This… how should I put it, society project has to be tested by someone…
(with a German accent) Madam Government Adviser, please allow me to introduce myself. I am Max from Canal XXL, with a metaphysical mass of 512 rats. This is the exact number of rats needed to dispose of the rubbish and filth generated by me. Is it true that our leaders are also contemplating the “long-term” decontamination of language?
You crossed your Ts, Max. This is a possibility we are looking into at the moment, but I wouldn’t like to put the cart before the horse. We are currently analysing the proposal for an ethical association put forward by the rats, and we have just issued a public statement acknowledging the importance of their work deployed in the service of mankind. It wasn’t a walk in the park, let me tell you, our experts have been up all night… Well, I can let you in on the secret that rats are no longer up for compromises. They want to insert a metaphysical clause into the constitution.
Why are they so obsessed with the metaphysical aspect?
We have no idea. In any case, we don’t have any objections to placing the rat-human partnership under metaphysical consideration. We don’t mind acknowledging the eternal dignity of rats, both from a symbolic and a practical point of view.
Why are they so obsessed with symbols?
As if we weren’t ourselves…
(with a German accent) Madam Adviser, let’s not beat about the bush, please. Are we about to undergo a linguistic purge? Have the rats proposed to simplify our communication system? Are they seriously asking us to reduce our vocabulary by 50%?
By 90% actually, in order to help with reasoning.
Chattering between the journalists.
Don’t even try hypocrisy with me, it won’t work. We all know that we’ve been chattering around the clock for donkey’s years without actually saying anything meaningful. Rats believe that we need to unburden our brains from the tyranny of language.
And what’s their plan, to remove certain words from our brain?
Think of the abyss between words and action. This is something we, as representatives of the human race, are solely responsible for. We’ve kept on developing our language like a gangrene, until we got entirely engulfed in it. We have allowed the proliferation of thousands of synonyms, we have indulged in adjectives and adverbs, and invented trendy phrases and expressions … As a result of this pathological temptation to juggle with words we have in fact ridiculed sense and meaning. We are being swamped by a linguistic bog, a labyrinth of perversions… Imagine a juggler who has long lost his eight or ten juggling balls, but who carries on with his hand gestures regardless. This is the situation of mankind today. Keeps rattling on.
Noises, interjections, half-finished questions.
You don’t mean that …
This would be the last straw …
No, no, still, well …
To really …
Madam, madam spokes …
Shit.
Our moral purification cannot be achieved without a purification of our language. Without a shadow of a doubt. Unacceptable semantic contradictions are deeply ingrained in our brain. It’s high time for us to clean up our linguistic cesspool. To simplify everything. To ease ourselves. To degrease ourselves on a conceptual level. To disinfest our sham subtleties. To get rid of stuff that paralyses us.
Down with verbs. Nouns will suffice!
To give up grammar? Are they really asking us to give up grammar?
Well, we are about to compile a list of useless words. Right here, right now.
Mother? Father? Homeland? Origin?
All major revolutions have been painful at the start. The French Revolution was achieved at the cost of hundreds of heads chopped off. Ours will be carried out by cutting back a few instances of linguistic excrescence here and there. This is the only way in which we can invigorate our ability for reasoning. We have not only stopped thinking but we are outright delirious. Rats will infuse oxygen into our vocabulary so that we develop a newfound ability for positive thinking.
Five or six journalists sing: “aaaaa”.
What’s more, in the course of this evening heads of state and governments will attend a demonstration on ways of decontaminating language. Provided you are well-behaved, you may be allowed in too.
A few other journalists join the group singing “aaaaa”.
Brainwashing until the bitter end… aaaaa…
(hysterically) Gentlemen, I’m not prepared to give up my words… Gentlemen… Don’t take words away from me…
Yes, no… Yes, no… Google. Facebook. Microsoft.
A, e, i, o, u. I think it is sufficient to retain the vowels. Seriously. We can express a great deal just with the aid of vowels.
Aa!
Aie-aie.
Aeaea.
Iouea…
Euouae.
Words have paralysed us, words have soiled us, words have driven us away from nature! Words have. Words have. Paralysed. Driven away. Nature. They have. They have. They have. Us. Us. Us. One. Two. Our brain to. Easy until. Now without. Again us with. And will yes. But they what. So that not. Or if until. All that.
* * *
Summit 6
Mr Kuntz officiating at the mysterious operation of decontaminating language.
Heads of state and governments seated around a semi-circular table in the reunion room. Mr Kuntz places a helmet-aquarium on the head of everyone in attendance.
Journalists observe the scene. They behave like paparazzi.
Ladies and gentlemen, dear guests. Our experiment is just a simulation. Nothing that takes place here tonight is irreversible. Please relax. Please smile. You are witnessing a historical moment. Disinfecting language will open up the way towards true essence. We will separate the wheat from the chaff. The first phase is provisionally to break up our vocabulary. Imagine that you are at the barber’s and they are applying shaving foam over your beard… Ha, ha…
The screens located in the background flash and display the word: CRISIS. Vibrations, various sound effects, spectral or meditation music, visual suspense.
Mr Kuntz pulls out a long, algae-like thread from under each helmet-aquarium.
The word CRISIS flashes up and splinters into smithereens.
All world leaders involved in the experiment utter an “aaaaa” in relief.
Another word appears onscreen: NATIONALITY. Mr Kuntz pulls it out from under the helmet-aquariums. Unanimous sighs of relief: “ooooo”, while the leaders move closer to one another.
Mr Kuntz pulls out another word: PAST. Prolonged sense of relief: “eeeee”. A further gesture of overture among leaders.
Mr Kuntz pulls out the word LIE. An “uuuuu” of relief. During this act the leaders start levitating, as if, having become lighter, they got lifted into the air where they form a compact group.
Mr Kuntz pulls out the word SEX. A prolonged “iiiiiii” of relief.
Mr Kuntz pulls out the word FREEDOM. Cracks and burps. A leader throws up. They wipe each other’s mouths and cram tightly together. A human ball lifts up in the air.
Giant rats return with bowls in their hands in which they continue stirring an unidentified substance. Mr Kuntz continues to pull out words: DIVERGENCE, CONTRADICTION, DOUBT, FABRICATION, etc.
(all together, as if they were singing in a choir) We, rats, are convinced that our model is the only viable way of preserving life on Earth and in the universe.
A single centre of pleasure but billions of receptacles for the same pulsations, and a single dream for a billion sleeping specimens: these are just some of the advantages of preserving life in this way.
While humans exhaust themselves in the process of multiplying their vices and sources of unhappiness, we, rats, in a tacit and collective effort, have created the ideal matrix for survival.
Some of the advantages of a shared brain are: it doesn’t develop any fear or anxiety in relation to death or dying; it doesn’t fancy itself as a divinity and it entirely preserves our collective memory.
The chief rat removes some liquid from the helmet-aquariums and mixes it in with the content of the bowls. All giant rats continue to stir energetically, while Mr Kuntz pulls out words such as DEATH, FEAR, DARKNESS…
A brain shared between an entire species is never aggressive.
You, humans, are in the best position to observe that despite your obsessive attempts at hunting us down and exterminating us, our species hasn’t developed any form of hatred towards your species, no form of violence or instinct for revenge.
It’s obvious that our shared brain doesn’t contain the seeds of violence and aggression.
A shared brain also makes any interest in politics impossible, or, if you like, leads to the eradication of any potential need to exercise such activities.
By its very nature, the shared brain of our species controls the very idea of social organisation.
The rapport between individuals and the shared brain is so clear and frank that there is no space whatsoever for mutual manipulation or personal ambition.
No one wishes to rise above others in situations of brain sharing.
Other advantages: even though pain will continue to exist as an individual experience, it is easier to handle owing to the shared brain that also plays the role of a centralised and universal healer.
The shared brain is incompatible with the idea of ownership and stinginess. What communism failed to achieve for you humans, has succeeded for us rats, through the organic sharing of our neurons and grey matter.
Each rat sets fire to the content of their bowl with a lighter, as if they were to serve a flambé dish to the audience.
We also have an entirely different relationship with time, pleasure and creation.
Time is no longer an endured existential dimension, but a sheer spectacle of duration.
As far as pleasure is concerned, let me tell you that we have been following human evolution (or rather involution) for a long time, and we are astounded by your approaches, according to which pleasure implies a suffering of sorts (and at times, the pleasure of some triggers the suffering of others).
Comrade humanoids and dear neighbours, you really have to sample the shared brain to understand the sense of intense pleasure experienced in togetherness.
You should be aware that we support artistic creation but not the infinite multiplication of useless objects. We swear by a single line that constitutes the very essence of poetry and universal beauty: “Dogs cross the air in a diamond.”
Darkness. The rats circulate among the spectators, holding their bowls in which the flames slowly die out.
Mr Kuntz pulls out the word POETRY from the helmet-aquariums.
THE SOPRANOS (singing):
Where? When? Why? How?
Where to? Until when? How much?
From whom? From what?
Until when? Until whom? How?
Let’s yes? Let’s no? Let’s be? Really?
Let’s no? Let’s yes? Let’s how?
From where? From how much? From really?
Really until? From how what? Since how?
The human ball floats gracefully above the stage.
* * *
Model Family 3
The model family is at home. Dad, mum (holding a baby), son, daughter, grandmother and Pacinto, the dog. The model family has just started to experience the disintegration of language.
Good morning. Let me share a piece of good news with you.
Family our has expanded model.
We have a girl baby…
May Laura introduce you…
Who all be her life a morality paragon.
Zero evil, zero selfishness.
This is room we prepared Laura for …
A film (reminiscent of advertising slogans) is projected on to the screens. The entire space is decorated with images representing likeable rats.
We’ve chosen Laura wallpaper representing rodents all shapes and sizes.
For Laura chosen lamp this as you can see how in fact rat-mole natural which size seems road lights up with a torch… Humour observation kindness, curiosity, rat-mole…
This cradle Laura with maintained as you can see rat-kangaroos two… Slippers these for when starts Laura walking on the toe caps mice two head.
Mum, with also want slippers mice …
Pacinto barks.
Yes Hannah will a tomorrow pair slippers of mice get.
And a I want live hamster for pet.
Seemingly disgruntled, the poodle barks.
(together) Yes Arno will get you birthday hamster pet.
For I’d like a Christmas muff ground squirrel …
But let’s with some continue other news. Observe our floor is higher and the ceiling is lower … From our family benefits the partnership with rats.
Be like us. Trust the biological symbiosis. Our species are complementary.
As with result partnership rats have to throw away food waste…
This our is the after meal evening kitchen…
Images of leftovers in plates, bowls, etc.
And this our is next kitchen morning.
Images of clean plates.
Ja, ja … Danke schön …
Contribute no longer we to nature of pollution.
Longer no we the environment pollute.
Everything deal with rats.
Everything clean up rats.
I no longer a mum throw am soiled happy nappies.
Eat rats them.
And are see feel rats efficient, discreet, polite, invisible, presence, never.
Them to will we unless visit invite.
For this a purpose we flute utilise.
This is how we starts come it see whenever us flute someone rats works.
Dad plays the flute. Rat heads, claws and tails appear pretty much everywhere: under the furniture, emerging from drawers and books, from under cushions and wardrobes.
We when withdraw playing stop rats.
We can a lot learn from rats.
Them improved we have owing to.
I shall as for me better world in a live.
Ha, ha, ha … It look already talking.
It’s today Eve Christmas.
They all sing O Tannenbaum. The rats lug in a decorated Christmas tree and place six beautifully wrapped boxes underneath.
The poodle barks.
Oh father us all brought Christmas presents. (Reading a gift tag.) A Dita present for grandma …
Father Chri than.
(reading gift tag) An Erika present for mum …
Than Fath.
An Arno present for.
Than Fath Chri.
A pre fo Hannah.
Oh, oh, than Fath Chri.
A pre fo Baldur … Than Fath Chri. And a pre fo Pa.
The poodle barks. Frantic opening of boxes. They all find an apple inside. Everybody shouts: “Thank you, Father Christmas!”
All members of the perfect family come up to the footlights to eat their apples. Behind them, the rats demolish the boxes, the wrapping paper, the ribbons and gift tags.
As soon as they’ve finished with their apples, the family members throw the cores right behind them. These are caught mid-air by the rats.
The rats make the cores disappear in an instant, and move on to demolishing the Christmas tree.
Translated from the Romanian by
The Man Who Had All His Malice Removed is a play in 31 scenes, first published in Romanian as Omul din care a fost extras răul, by Cartea Românească in 2014. It tells the story of a world run by giant rats who decide to rid the human race from the burden of language. Journalists become first in line for this thought experiment, designed to reduce people’s vocabulary and encourage more “positive” thinking.