Healthy development necessitates that adolescents maintain connections with others while developing an autonomous identity. In the extant literature, however, autonomy and relatedness are often placed at odds, particularly in discussions of girls. We explore how autonomy and relatedness co-occur in girls’ interactions with peers and mentors in the context of an after-school mentoring program. Four mentoring groups were observed over the course of an academic year. We identified three forms of co-occurrence: (a) Coordination, (b) Competition, and (c) Neutrality. In addition, girls discussed autonomy-relatedness dilemmas from outside of the mentoring group to test out enacted autonomy and foster their group relationships. Findings suggest that mentoring groups serve as a safe space for girls to connect with others while making self-directed, independent decisions.
AllenJ. P.HauserS. T.BellK. L.O’ConnorT. G. (1994). Longitudinal assessment of autonomy and relatedness in adolescent-family interactions as predictors of adolescent ego development and self-esteem. Child Development, 65, 179-194.
2.
AllenJ. P.MarshP.McFarlandC.McElhaneyK. B.LandD. J.JodlK. M.PeckS. (2002). Attachment and autonomy as predictors of the development of social skills and delinquency during midadolescence. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 70, 56-66.
3.
AmaroH.BlakeS. M.SchwartzP. M.FlinchbaughL. J. (2001). Developing theory-based substance abuse programs for young adolescent girls. Journal of Early Adolescence, 21, 256-293.
4.
AspelmeierJ. E.KernsK. A. (2003). Love and school: Attachment/exploration dynamics in college. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20, 5-30.
5.
BanisterE.LeadbeaterB. (2007). To stay or leave? How do mentoring groups support healthy dating relationships in high-risk girls? In LeadbeaterB.WayN. (Eds.), Urban girls revisited: Building strengths (pp. 121-141). New York: New York University Press.
6.
BanisterE. M.BegorayD. L. (2006). A community of practice approach for Aboriginal girls’ sexual health education. Journal of the Canadian Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 15, 168-173.
7.
BeiswengerK. L.GrolnickW. (2009). Interpersonal and intrapersonal factors associated with autonomous motivation in adolescents’ after-school activities. Journal of Early Adolescence, 30, 369-394.
8.
BowieB. H. (2007). Relational aggression, gender, and the developmental process. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 20, 107-115.
9.
BrownL. M. (1998). Raising their voices: The politics of girls’ anger. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
10.
ChirkovV. I.RyanR. M. (2001). Parent and teacher autonomy-support in Russian and U.S. adolescents: Common effects on well-being and academic motivation. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 32, 618-635.
11.
ChirkovV. I.RyanR. M.KimY.KaplanU. (2003). Differentiating autonomy from individualism and independence: A self-determination theory perspective on internalization of cultural orientations and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 97-110.
12.
CianiK. D.MiddletonM. J.SummersJ. J.SheldonK. M. (2010). Buffering against performance classroom goal structures: The importance of autonomy support and classroom community. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 35, 88-99.
13.
CrickN. R.GrotpeterN. K. (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social-psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722.
14.
DeciE. L.La GuardiaJ. G.MollerA. C.ScheinerM. J.RyanR. M. (2006). On the benefits of giving as well as receiving autonomy support: Mutuality in close friendships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 313-327.
15.
DeciE. L.RyanR. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11, 227-268.
16.
DeutschN. L. (2008). Pride in the projects: Teens building identities in urban contexts. New York: New York University Press.
17.
DeutschN. L.JonesJ. (2008). “Show me an ounce of respect”: Respect and authority in adult-youth relationships in after-school programs. Journal of Adolescent Research, 23, 667-688.
18.
DeutschN. L.Reitz-KruegerC.HennebergerA.FutchV.LawrenceE. C. (2014). “It gave me ways to solve problems and ways to talk to people”: Outcomes from a combined group and one-on-one mentoring program for early adolescent girls. Manuscript submitted for publication.
19.
DeutschN. L.WigginsA.HennebergerA.LawrenceE. (2012). Combining mentoring with structured group activities: A potential after-school context for fostering relationships between girls and mentors. Journal of Early Adolescence, 33, 5-16.
20.
FuligniA. J.EcclesJ. S. (1993). Perceived parent-child relationships and early adolescents’ orientation toward peers. Developmental Psychology, 29, 622-632.
21.
FurrerC.SkinnerE. (2003). Sense of relatedness as a factor in children’s academic engagement and performance. Journal of Educational Psychology, 95, 148-162.
22.
GilliganC. (1982). In a different voice: Psychological theory and women’s development. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
23.
HirschB. J. (2005). A place to call home: After-school programs for urban youth. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
24.
JosselsonR. (1994). Identity and relatedness in the life cycle. In BosmaH. A.GraafsmaT. L. (Eds.), Identity and development: An interdisciplinary approach (Vol. 172, pp. 81-102). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.
25.
KagitcibasiC. (1996). The autonomous-relational self: A new synthesis. European Psychologist, 1, 180-186.
26.
KagitcibasiC. (2005). Autonomy and relatedness in cultural context: Implications for self and family. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 36, 403-422.
27.
KerigP. K.SwansonJ. A.WardR. M. (2011). Autonomy with connection: Influences of parental psychological control on mutuality in emerging adults’ close relationships. In KerigP. K.SchulzM. S.HauserS. T. (Eds.), Adolescence and beyond: Family processes and development (pp. 134-154). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
28.
KirchnerB. (2009). “Power in numbers”: Youth organizing as a context for exploring civic identity. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 19, 414-440.
29.
KupermincG. P.AllenJ. P.ArthurM. W. (1996). Autonomy, relatedness, and male adolescent delinquency: Toward a multi-dimensional view of social competence. Journal of Adolescent Research, 11, 397-420.
30.
LarsonR. W.BrownJ. R. (2007). Emotional development in adolescence: What can be learned from a high school theater program?Child Development, 78, 1083-1099.
31.
LawrenceE.RobertsK.Sovik-JohnstonA.ThorndikeA. (2009). Young women leaders program mentor handbook (6th ed.). Charlottesville: The Rector and Board of Visitors, University of Virginia.
32.
LeadbeaterB. J.WayN. (Eds.). (1996). Urban adolescent girls: Resisting stereotypes, creating identities. New York: New York University Press.
33.
LeeJ.BellN. J. (2003). Individual differences in attachment-autonomy configurations: Linkages with substance use and youth competencies. Journal of Adolescence, 26, 347-361.
34.
LiangB.SpencerR.BroganD.CorralL. (2008). Mentoring relationships from early adolescence through emerging adulthood: A qualitative analysis. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 72, 168-182.
35.
O’ConnorT. G.AllenJ. P.BellK. L.HauserS. T. (1996). Adolescent-parent relationships and leaving home in young adulthood. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 71, 39-52.
36.
PelletierL. G.DionS.LevesqueC. S. (2004). Can self-determination help protect women against sociocultural influences about body image and reduce their risk of experiencing bulimic symptoms?Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23, 61-88.
37.
RaeffC. (2004). Within-culture complexities: Multifaceted and interrelated autonomy and connectedness characteristics in late adolescent selves. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 104, 61-78.
38.
RyanR.DeciE. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55, 68-78.
39.
SchadM. M.SzwedoD. E.AntonishakJ.HareA.AllenJ. P. (2008). The broader context of relational aggression in adolescent romantic relationships: Predictions from peer pressure and links to psychosocial functioning. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 37, 346-358.
40.
Tamis-LeMondaC. S.WayN.HughesD.YoshikawaH.Kahana-KalmanR.NiwaE. (2008). Parents’ goals for children: The dynamic coexistence of individualism and collectivism in cultures and individuals. Social Development, 17, 183-209.
41.
TaylorJ. M.GilliganC.SullivanA. M. (1995). Between voice and silence: Women and girls, race and relationship. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
42.
WayN. (1995). “Can’t you see the courage, the strength that I have?” Listening to urban adolescent girls speak about their relationships. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 19, 107-128.
43.
WayN. (2004). Intimacy, desire, and distrust in the friendships of adolescent boys. In WayN.ChuJ. Y. (Eds.), Adolescent boys: Exploring diverse cultures of boyhood (pp. 167-196). New York: New York University Press.
44.
WayN. (2013). Boys’ friendships during adolescence: Intimacy, desire, and loss. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 23, 201-213.
45.
WentzelK. R. (1998). Social relationships and motivation in middle school: The role of parents, teachers, and peers. Journal of Educational Psychology, 90, 202-209.
46.
WillemenA. M.SchuengelC.KootH. M. (2011). Observed interactions indicate protective effects of relationships with parents for referred adolescents. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 21, 1-7.
47.
Wray-LakeL.CrouterA. C.McHaleS. M. (2010). Developmental patterns in decision-making autonomy across middle childhood and adolescence: European American parents’ perspectives. Child Development, 81, 636-651.
