How do married men and women remember their love for their spouse at the beginning of the relationship before marriage and how do they currently perceive their marital love? A total of 581 middle-aged adults, 44 to 47 years old, married an average of 18 years, was surveyed regarding four types of love (Eros, Ludus, Friendship-based Love and Agape) at two relationship stages-retrospectively, at the beginning of the love relationship with their current spouse and currently in the marriage. Findings showed that the perceived strength of erotic and ludic love was higher at the beginning than it was currently for both men and women, and the perceived strength of agapic love was higher currently than it was thought to have been at the beginning, but only for men. The perceived degree of Friendship-based Love (FBL) remained the same across stages. Results also indicated that men and women differed in love experiences to a greater extent at the beginning of the relationship than currently. Most importantly, changes in perceptions of love appeared to have meaningful implications for the current affective quality of the marriage for men and women. Shifts in perceptions of erotic, ludic, friendship-based and agapic love predicted marital satisfaction as well as other salient relationship characteristics, such as sexual satisfaction, non-monogamy, relying upon one's spouse for help and comfort, as well as spending time with, feeling close to, respecting and helping one's spouse.
Acitelli, L.K. (1988) `When Spouses Talk to Each Other about Their Relationship', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships5: 185-199.
2.
Acker, M. & Davis, M. (1992) `Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment in Adult Romantic Relationships: A Test of the Triangular Theory of Love', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships9: 21-50.
3.
Aron, A. & Aron, E.N. (1986) Love and the Expansion of Self: Understanding Attraction and Satisfaction. Washington, DC: Hemisphere.
4.
Bentler, P.M. (1989) EQS: Structural Equations Program Manual. Los Angeles, CA: BMDP Statistical Software.
5.
Bentler, P.M. (1990) `Comparative Fit Indices in Structural Models', Psychological Bulletin107: 238-246.
6.
Bernard, J. (1981) The Female World. New York: Free Press.
7.
Berscheid, E. & Walster, E. (1974) `A Little Bit about Love', in T.L. Huston (ed.), Foundations of Interpersonal Attraction, pp. 355-381. New York: Academic Press.
8.
Bower, G.H. (1981) `Mood and Memory', American Psychologist, 36: 129-148.
9.
Cate, R.M. , Koval, J., Lloyd, S.A. & Wilson, G. (1995) `Assessment of Relationship Thinking in Dating Relationships', Personal Relationships2: 77-95.
10.
Cuber, J. & Harroff, P. (1965) The Significant Americans. New York: Appleton-Century.
11.
Driscoll, R. , Davis, K.E. & Lipetz, M.E. (1972) `Parental Interference and Romantic Love: The Romeo and Juliet Effect', Journal of Personality and Social Psychology24: 1-10.
12.
Frazier, P.A. & Esterly, E. (1990) `Correlates of Relationship Beliefs: Gender, Relationship Experience and Relationship Satisfaction', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships7: 331-352.
13.
Grauerholz, E. (1988) `Altruistic-other Orientation in Intimate Relationships', Social Behavior and Personality16: 127-131.
14.
Grote, N.K. (1992) `Love in the Afternoon: Perceptions of Love Before and After Marriage in Middle-aged Men and Women', unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of Pittsburgh.
15.
Grote, N.K. & Frieze, I.H. (1994) `The Measurement of Friendship-based Love in Intimate Relationships', Personal Relationships1: 275-300.
16.
Grote, N.K. & Frieze, I.H. (1995) `Children, Family Work Traditionalism, and Marital Satisfaction: `What's Love Got To Do with It?", Personal Relationships2.
17.
Hansen, G.L. (1987) `Extradyadic Relations during Courtship', Journal of Sex Research23: 382-390.
18.
Hatfield, E. & Walster, G.W. (1978) A New Look at Love. Lantham, MA: University Press of America.
19.
Hendrick, C. & Hendrick, S.S. (1986) `A Theory and Method of Love', Journal of Personality and Social Psychology50: 392-402.
20.
Hendrick, C. & Hendrick, S.S. (1988) `Lovers Wear Rose Colored Glasses', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships5: 392-402.
21.
Hendrick, C. & Hendrick, S.S. (1990) `A Relationship-specific Version of the Attitudes Scale', Journal of Social Behavior and Personality5: 239-254.
22.
Hendrick, S.S. (1988) `A Generic Measure of Relationship Satisfaction', Journal of Marriage and the Family50: 93-98.
23.
Hendrick, S.S. , Hendrick, C. & Adler, N.L. (1988) `Romantic Relationships: Love, Satisfaction, and Staying Together', Journal of Personality and Social Psychology54: 980-988.
24.
Johnson, D.J. & Rusbult, C.E. (1989) `Resisting Temptation; Devaluation of Alternative Partners as a Means of Maintaining Commitment in Close Relationships', Journal of Personality and Social Psychology75: 967-980.
25.
Knox, D.H. & Sporakowski, M.J. (1968) `Attitudes of College Students toward Love', Journal of Marriage and the Family30: 638-642.
26.
Lasswell, T.E. & Lasswell, M.E. (1976) `I Love You, But I'm Not in Love with You', Journal of Marriage and Family Counseling38: 211-224.
27.
Lee, J.A. (1977) `A Typology of Styles of Loving', Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin3: 173-182.
28.
Morrow, G.Clark, E. , & Brock, K. (1995) `Individual and Partner Love Styles: Implications for the Quality of Romantic Involvements', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships12: 363-387.
29.
Munro, B. & Adams, G.R. (1978) `Love American Style: A Test of Role Structure Theory on Changes in Attitudes toward Love', Human Relations31: 215-228.
30.
Richardson, D.R. , Medvin, N. & Hammock, G. (1988) `Lovestyles, Relationship Experience, and Sensation Seeking: A Test of Validity', Personality and Individual Differences9: 645-651.
31.
Rusbult, C.E. (1983) `A Longitudinal Test of the Investment Model: The Development (and Deterioration) of Satisfaction and Commitment in Heterosexual Involvements', Journal of Personality and Social Psychology45: 101-117.
32.
Sternberg, R.J. (1986) `The Triangular Theory of Love', Psychological Review93: 119-135.
33.
Tennov, D. (1979) Love and Limerance. New York: Stein and Day.
34.
Traupman, J. & Hatfield, E. (1981) `Love and Its Effects on Mental and Physical Health', in R. Fogel, E. Hatfield, S. Kiesler & E. Shanas (eds), Aging: Stability and Change in the Family. New York: Academic Press.
35.
Tucker, P. & Aron, A. (1993) `Passionate Love and Marital Satisfaction at Key Transition Points in the Family Life Cycle', Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology12: 135-147.
36.
Wright, P. (1988) `Interpreting Research on Gender Differences in Friendships: A Case for Moderation and a Plea for Caution', Journal of Social and Personal Relationships5: 367-373.
