Changing Me by Sacrificing for Thee: Motivated Sacrifice and Relationship-Induced Self-Concept Change

Abstract

People in romantic relationships sacrifice when they forego their own goals and needs in order to prioritize those of their partner. In doing so, individuals may engage in approach-motivated sacrifices in which they sacrifice to pursue desirable relational end states, or they may engage in avoidance-motivated sacrifices in which they sacrifice to avoid negative outcomes. In this research, we sought to test the notion that motivated sacrifices have consequences for individuals’ self-concepts. Specifically, we hypothesized that people who engaged in approach-motivated sacrifices would report greater self-improvement (i.e., gaining positive or losing negative self-attributes), whereas those who engaged in avoidance-motivated sacrifices would report greater self-degradation (i.e., losing positive or gaining negative self-attributes). Across four studies (total N = 560) utilizing diverse methodology (i.e., cross-sectional, longitudinal, and dyadic), we predicted and found that approach-motivated sacrifice was positively associated with self-improvement and avoidance-motivated sacrifice was positively associated with self-degradation. In turn, self-change had downstream consequences for the relationship, such that self-improvement mediated the association between approach-motivated sacrifice and relationship quality, whereas self-degradation mediated the association between avoidance-motivated sacrifice and relationship quality. These results suggest that individuals’ motivations for sacrificing, which are presumably intended to maintain a relationship, carry the potential to enhance or undermine individuals’ sense of identity and relationship quality.