Emotional recovery following divorce: Will the real self-compassion please stand up?

Abstract

Self-compassion is a positive psychological construct associated with heightened well-being, but the construct is largely measured via self-report. In a study of divorcing adults (N = 120), we sought to replicate and extend prior research on the association between self-rated and observed self-compassion, the linguistic cues associated with self-rated and observed self-compassion, and the predictive utility of observed self-compassion. Untrained observers rated participants’ stream-of-consciousness recordings about their marriage and separation experience. We found adequate consensus among raters of observed self-compassion and a significant, positive association between self-rated and observed self-compassion. Greater self- and observer-rated self-compassion were associated with less distress at baseline; however, only observed self-compassion was associated with less distress at the final study assessment. Discussion centers on the cues observers use to perceive self-compassion in others and the extent to which behavioral manifestations of affect may shape such ratings.

Keywords

Divorce coping self-compassion marital separation psychological adjustment

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Aberson

C. L.

Healy

Romero

(2000). Ingroup bias and self-esteem: A meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 4(2), 157–173. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0402_04

Allen

A. B.

Leary

M. R.

(2010). Self-compassion, stress, and coping. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 4(2), 107–118. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2009.00246.x

Back

M. D.

Schmukle

S. C.

Egloff

(2009). Predicting actual behavior from the explicit and implicit self-concept of personality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97(3), 533–548. https://doi.org/ 10.1037/a0016229

Baumeister

R. F.

Heatherton

T. F.

Tice

D. M.

(1993). When ego threats lead to self-regulation failure: Negative consequences of high self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(1), 141–156. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.64.1.141.

Beck

A.T.

Steer

R.A.

Brown

G.K.

(1996). Manual for the beck depression inventory-II. Psychological Corporation.

Borelli

J. L.

Sbarra

D. A.

Mehl

(2019). Convergence of naïve coders and participant report ratings of attachment to a former partner: When we should be me. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 977–999. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517749755

Bourassa

K. J.

Hasselmo

Sbarra

D. A.

(2019). After the end: Linguistic predictors of psychological distress 4 years after marital separation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(6), 1872–1891. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407518774428

Bourassa

K. J.

Manvelian

Boals

Mehl

M. R.

Sbarra

D. A.

(2017). Tell me a story: The creation of narrative as a mechanism of psychological recovery following marital separation. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 36(6), 359–379. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2017.36.5.359

Bourassa

K. J.

Tackman

A. M.

Mehl

M. R.

Sbarra

D. A.

(2019). Psychological overinvolvement, emotional distress, and daily affect following marital dissolution. Collabra: Psychology, 5(1), 8. https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.184.

10.

Brunswik

(1956). Perception and the representative design of psychology experiences. University of California Press.

11.

Cicchetti

D. V.

(1994). Guidelines, criteria, and rules of thumb for evaluating normed and standardized assessment instruments in psychology. Psychological Assessment, 6(4), 284–290. https://doi.org/10.1037/1040-3590.6.4.284.

12.

Cohen

Aiken

L. S.

West

S. G.

(1999). The problem of units and the circumstance for POMP. Multivariate Behavioral Research, 34(3), 315–346. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327906MBR3403_2

13.

Creamer

Bell

Failla

(2003). Psychometric properties of the impact of event scale-revised. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 41(12), 1489–1496. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2003.07.010

14.

Damon

(1995). Greater expectations: Overcoming the culture of indulgence in America’s homes and schools. Free Press.

15.

Faul

Erdfelder

Lang

A.-G.

Buchner

(2007). G*Power 3: A flexible statistical power analysis program for the social, behavioral, and biomedical sciences. Behavior Research Methods, 39(2), 175–191. https://doi.org/10.3758/bf03193146

16.

Feather

N. T.

(1994). Attitudes toward high achievers and reactions to their fall: Theory and research concerning tall poppies. In Zanna

(Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (pp. 1–73). Academic Press.

17.

Fleiss

J. L.

Cohen

(1973). The equivalence of weighted kappa and the intraclass correlation coefficient as measures of reliability. Educational and Psychological Measurement, 33(3), 613–619. https://doi.org/10.1177/001316447303300309

18.

Gilbert

McEwan

Matos

Rivis

(2011). Fears of compassion: Development of three self-report measures. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 84(3), 239–255. https://doi.org/10.1348/147608310X526511.

19.

Gilbert

Procter

(2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: overview and pilot study of a group therapy approach. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 13(6), 353–379.

20.

Giner-Sorolla

Aberson

C. L.

Bostyn

D. H.

Carpenter

Conrique

B. G.

Lewis

N. A.

Soderberg

(2019). Power to detect what? Considerations for planning and evaluating sample size. https://osf.io/d3v8t/.

21.

Greenberg

Pyszczynski

(1986). Persistent high self-focus after failure and low self-focus after success: The depressive self-focusing style. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50(5), 1039–1044. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.50.5.1039

22.

Holleran

S. E.

Mehl

M. R.

(2008). Let me read your mind: Personality judgments based on a person's natural stream of thought. Journal of Research in Personality, 42(3), 747–754. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2007.07.011

23.

Kabat-Zinn

Chapman-Waldrop

(1988). Compliance with an outpatient stress reduction program: Rates and predictors of program completion. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 11(4), 333–352. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00844934

24.

Kabat-Zinn

Massion

A. O.

Kristeller

Peterson

L. G.

(1992). Effectiveness of a meditation-based stress reduction program in the treatment of anxiety disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry, 149(7) 936–943. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.149.7.936

25.

Lewandowski

G. W.

Jr Bizzoco

N. M.

(2007). Addition through subtraction: Growth following the dissolution of a low quality relationship. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2(1), 40–54. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760601069234

26.

MacBeth

Gumley

(2012). Exploring compassion: A meta-analysis of the association between self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review, 32(6), 545–552. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003

27.

Manvelian

Bourassa

K. J.

Lawrence

Mehl

M. R.

Sbarra

D. A.

(2018). With or without you? Loss of self following marital separation. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 37, 297–324. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2018.37.4.297

28.

Marsh

I. C.

Chan

S. W.

MacBeth

(2018). Self-compassion and psychological distress in adolescents—a meta-analysis. Mindfulness, 9(4), 1011–1027. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-017-0850-7.

29.

Milek

Butler

E. A.

Tackman

A. M.

Kaplan

D. M.

Raison

C. L.

Sbarra

D. A.

Vazire

Mehl

M. R.

(2018). “Eavesdropping on happiness” revisited: A pooled, multisample replication of the association between life satisfaction and observed daily conversation quantity and quality. Psychological Science, 29(3), 1451–1462. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618774252

30.

Neff

K. D.

(2003b). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223–250. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309027.

31.

Neff

(2003a). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032.

32.

Neff

K. D.

(2004). Self-compassion and psychological well-being. Constructivism in the Human Sciences, 9(2), 27–38.

33.

Neff

K. D.

(2020April 26). Mindful self-compassion program. Self-Compassion. https://self-compassion.org/the-program/

34.

Neff

K. D.

Germer

C. K.

(2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923

35.

Neff

K. D.

Kirkpatrick

K. L.

Rude

S. S.

(2007). Self-compassion and adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41(1), 139–154. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2006.03.004

36.

Nolen-Hoeksema

Wisco

B. E.

Lyubomirsky

(2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400–424. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00088.x

37.

O'Hara

Grinberg

Tackman

Mehl

Sbarra

(2020). Contact with an ex-partner is associated with psychological distress after marital separation. Clinical Psychological Science, 8(3), 450–463. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702620916454

38.

I.-S.

Wang

Mount

M. K.

(2011). Validity of observer ratings of the five-factor model of personality traits: A meta-analysis. Journal of Applied Psychology, 96(4), 762–773. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021832.

39.

Paulhus

D. L.

Vazire

(2007). The self-report method. In Robins

R. W.

Fraley

R. C.

Krueger

R. F.

(Eds.), Handbook of research methods in personality psychology (pp. 224–239). Guilford Press.

40.

Pennebaker

J.W.

Booth

R.J.

Boyd

R.L.

Francis

M.E.

(2015). Linguistic Inquiry and word count: LIWC2015. Pennebaker Conglomerates. www.LIWC.net

41.

Podsakoff

P. M.

MacKenzie

S. B.

Lee

J.-Y.

Podsakoff

N. P.

(2003). Common method biases in behavioral research: A critical review of the literature and recommended remedies. Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(5), 879-903. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.88.5.879

42.

Prigerson

H. G.

Maciejewski

P. K.

Reynolds

C. F.

Bierhals

A. J.

Newsom

J. T.

Fasiczka

Frank

Doman

Miller

(1995). Inventory of complicated grief: a scale to measure maladaptive symptoms of loss. Psychiatry Research, 59(1-2), 65-79. https://doi.org/10.1016/0165-1781(95)02757-2

43.

Raes

Pommier

Neff

K. D.

Van Gucht

(2011). Construction and factorial validation of a short form of the self‐compassion scale. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 18(3), 250–255. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.702.

44.

Raque-Bogdan

T. L.

Ericson

S. K.

Jackson

Martin

H. M.

Bryan

N. A.

(2011). Attachment and mental and physical health: self-compassion and mattering as mediators. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58(2), 272. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023041.

45.

Robins

R. W.

Hendin

H. M.

Trzesniewski

K. H.

(2001). Measuring global self-esteem: Construct validation of a single-item measure and the Rosenberg self-esteem scale. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(2), 151–161. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167201272002

46.

Rosenberg

(1979). Conceiving the self. Basic Books.

47.

Sbarra

D. A.

Boals

Mason

A. E.

Larson

G. M.

Mehl

M. R.

(2013). Expressive writing can impede emotional recovery following marital separation. Clinical Psychological Science, 1(2), 120–134. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702612469801.

48.

Sbarra

D. A.

Hasselmo

Bourassa

K. J.

(2015). Divorce and Health. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(2), 109–113. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414559125

49.

Sbarra

D. A.

Manvelian

(2021). The psychological and biological correlates of separation and loss. In Thompson

R.A.

Simpson

J.A.

Berlin

(Eds), Attachment: The Fundamental Questions (pp. 275–282). The Guilford Press.

50.

Sbarra

D. A.

Smith

H. L.

Mehl

M. R.

(2012). When leaving your ex, love yourself: Observational ratings of self-compassion predict the course of emotional recovery following marital separation. Psychological Science, 23(3), 261-269. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611429466.

51.

Scheier

M. F.

Carver

C. S.

Bridges

M. W.

(1994). Distinguishing optimism from neuroticism (and trait anxiety, self-mastery, and self-esteem): A reevaluation of the life orientation test. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67(6), 1063–1078. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.6.1063

52.

Seligman

M. E.

(1995). The optimistic child. Houghton Mifflin.

53.

Selya

A. S.

Rose

J. S.

Dierker

L. C.

Hedeker

Mermelstein

R. J.

(2012). A practical guide to calculating cohen’s f2, a measure of local effect size, from PROC MIXED. Frontiers in Psychology, 3, 111. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00111.

54.

Sirois

F. M.

Molnar

D. S.

Hirsch

J. K.

(2015). Self-compassion, stress, and coping in the context of chronic illness. Self and Identity, 14(3), 334–347. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2014.996249

55.

Smith

T. W.

Greenberg

(1981). Depression and self-focused attention. Motivation and Emotion, 5(4), 323–331. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00992551

56.

Tackman

Sbarra

Carey

Donnellan

Horn

Holtzman

Edwards

Pennebaker

Mehl

(2018). Depression, negative emotionality, and self-referential language: A multi-lab, multi-measure, and multi-language-task research synthesis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 116(5), 817–834. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000187.

57.

Vazire

(2010). Who knows what about a person? The self-other knowledge asymmetry (SOKA) model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(2), 281–300. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017908

58.

Vazire

Doris

J. M.

(2009). Personality and personal control. Journal of Research in Personality, 43(2), 274–275. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2008.12.033.

59.

Vazire

Mehl

M. R.

(2008). Knowing me, knowing you: the accuracy and unique predictive validity of self-ratings and other-ratings of daily behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1202. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/a0013314.

60.

Wei

Russell

D. W.

Mallinckrodt

Vogel

D. L.

(2007). The experiences in Close Relationship Scale (ECR)-Short Form: Reliability, validity, and factor structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 88(2), 187–204. https://doi.org/10.1080/00223890701268041

61.

Zessin

Dickhäuser

Garbade

(2015). The Relationship Between Self-Compassion and Well-Being: A Meta-Analysis. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 7(3), 340–364. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12051

Supplementary Material

Please find the following supplemental material available below.

For Open Access articles published under a Creative Commons License, all supplemental material carries the same license as the article it is associated with.

For non-Open Access articles published, all supplemental material carries a non-exclusive license, and permission requests for re-use of supplemental material or any part of supplemental material shall be sent directly to the copyright owner as specified in the copyright notice associated with the article.

0.00 MB

0.14 MB