Uncertainty issues and management in adult children’s stories of their estrangement with their parents

Abstract

Framed in the uncertainty literature, the present study explores the uncertainty issues and management practices of adult children who are in the estrangement process with their parents. Results from 52 narrative interviews reveal six types of uncertainty and six management processes. Taken together, results suggest that the estrangement process is marked by chronic uncertainty that can serve multiple functions. Theoretical implications and practical applications are discussed.

Keywords

Family estrangement parent–child relationships uncertainty management

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Afifi

T. D.

Schrodt

(2003). Uncertainty and the avoidance of the state of one’s family in stepfamilies, postdivorce single-parent families, and first-marriage families. Human Communication Research, 29, 516–532. doi:10.1111/j.1468-2958.2003.tb00854.x

Agllias

(2011). No longer on speaking terms: The losses associated with family estrangement at the end of life. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Social Services, 92, 107–113. doi:10.1606/1044-3894.4055

Agllias

(2013a). The gendered experience in family estrangement in later life. Affilia: Journal of Women and Social Work, 28, 309–321. doi:10.1177/0886109913495727

Agllias

. (2013b). The reunification expectations of estranged elders towards the end of life. British Medical Journal Supportive and Palliative Care, 3, 240.

Agllias

(2015). Disconnection and decision-making: Adult children explain their reasons for estranging from parents. Australian Social Work. doi:10.1080/0312407X.2015.1004355

American Veterinary Medical Association. (2015). Legislation would protect pet of domestic violence victims. Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association, 246, 1029–1056.

Berger

C. R.

Bradac

J. J.

(1982). Language and social knowledge: Uncertainty in interpersonal relationships. London, England: Edward Arnold.

Bevan

J. L.

Stetzenbach

K. A.

Batson

Bullo

(2006). Factors associated with general partner and relational uncertainty within early adulthood sibling relationships. Communication Quarterly, 54, 367–381. doi: 10.1080/01463370600878479

Brashers

D. E.

(2001). Communication and uncertainty management. Journal of Communication, 51, 477–497. doi:10.1111/j.1460-2466.2001.tb02892.x

10.

Bowen

(1982). Family therapy in clinical practice (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Jason Aronson, Inc.

11.

Braun

Clarke

(2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3, 77–101. doi:10.1191/1478088706qp063oa

12.

Colaner

C. W.

Kranstuber

(2010). “Forever kind of wondering”: Communicatively managing uncertainty in adoptive families. Journal of Family Communication, 10, 236–255. doi:10.1080/15267431003682435

13.

Conti

R. P.

(2015). Family estrangement: Establishing a prevalence rate. Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Science, 3, 28–35. doi:10.15640/jpbs.v3n2a4

14.

Corbin

Strauss

(2008). Basics of qualitative research: Techniques and procedures for developing grounded theory. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

15.

Cottrell

(2004). Adolescent-to-parent abuse: A qualitative overview of common themes. Journal of Family Issues, 25, 1072–1095. doi:10.1177/0192513X03261330

16.

Drozd

L. M.

Olesen

N. W.

(2004). Is it abuse, alienation, and/or estrangement? A decision tree. Journal of Child Custody, 1, 65–106. doi:10.1300/J190v01n03_05

17.

Friesen

P. J.

(2003). Emotional cutoff and the brain. In Titelman

(Ed.), Emotional cutoff: Bowen family systems theory perspectives (pp. 83–107). New York, NY: Haworth Clinical Practice Press.

18.

Furstenberg

F. F.

Kaplan

(2004). Social capital and the family. In Scott

Treas

Richards

(Eds.), The Blackwell companion to sociology (pp. 218–232). Malden, MA: Blackwell.

19.

Ganong

Coleman

(2014). Qualitative research on family relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 31, 451–459. doi:10. 1177/0265407514520828

20.

Gilligan

Suitor

J. J.

Pillemer

(2015). Estrangement between mothers and adult children: The role of norms and values. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77, 908–920. doi:10.1111/jomf.12207

21.

Haslam

S. A.

Jetten

Postmes

Haslam

(2009). Social identity, health and well-being: An emerging agenda for applied psychology. Applied Psychology: An International Review, 58, 1–23. doi:10.1111/j.1464-0597.2008.00379.x

22.

Hess

(2000). Maintaining nonvoluntary relationships with disliked partners: An investigation into the use of distancing behaviors. Human Communication Research, 26, 458–488. doi:10.1111/j.1468-2958.2000.tb00765.x

23.

Heyman

Henrikson

Maughan

(1998). Probabilities and health risks: A qualitative approach. Social Science and Medicine, 47, 1295–1306. doi:10.1016/S0277-9536(98)00205-6

24.

Hogan

T. P.

Brashers

D. E.

(2009). The theory of communication and uncertainty management: Implications from the wider realm of information behavior. In Afifi

Afifi

(Eds.), Handbook of uncertainty and information regulation (pp. 45–66). New York, NY: Routledge.

25.

Holmberg

Orbuch

T. L.

Veroff

(2004). Thrice told tales: Married couples tell their stories. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

26.

Holmstrom

A. J.

Burleson

B. R.

(2011). An initial test of a cognitive-emotional theory of esteem support messages. Communication Research, 38, 326–355. doi:10.1177/00936502

27.

Jerrome

(1994). Family estrangement: Parents and child who “lose touch.” The Association for Family Therapy, 16, 241–258. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.1994.00793.x

28.

Knobloch

L. K.

(2008). The content of relational uncertainty in marriage. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, 467–495. doi:10.1177/0265407508090869

29.

Knobloch

L. K.

Solomon

D. H.

(1999). Measuring the sources and content of relational uncertainty. Communication Studies, 50, 261–278. doi:10.1080/10510979909388499

30.

Langellier

K. M.

(1989). Personal narratives: Perspectives on theory and research. Text and Performance Quarterly, 9, 243–276. doi:10.1080/10462938909365938

31.

Lincoln

Y. S.

Guba

E. G.

(1985). Naturalistic inquiry. Newbury Park, CA: SAGE.

32.

McCracken

(1988). The long interview. Newbury Park, CA: SAGE.

33.

Merry

(1995). Coping with uncertainty: Insights from the new sciences of chaos, self-organization, and complexity. Westport, CT: Praeger.

34.

Mikucki-Enyart

S. L.

Caughlin

J. P.

Rittenour

C. E.

(2015). Content and relational implications of children-in-law’s relational uncertainty within the in-law dyad during the transition to extended family. Communication Quarterly, 63, 286–309. doi:10.1080/01463373.2015.1039714

35.

Pennebaker

J. W.

(1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8, 162–166. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00403.x

36.

Powell

K. A.

Afifi

T. D.

(2005). Uncertainty management and adoptees’ ambiguous loss of their birth parents. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 129–151. doi:10.1177/0265407505049325

37.

Rollie

S. S.

Duck

(2006). Divorce and dissolution of romantic relationships: Stage models and their limitations. In Fine

M. A.

Harvey

J. H.

(Eds.), Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution (pp. 223–240). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

38.

Scharp

K. M.

(2014). (De)Constructing family: Exploring communicative practices in accomplishing and maintaining estrangement between adult children and their parents. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of Iowa, Iowa City, IA.

39.

Scharp

K. M.

(2016a). Family estrangement. In Shehan

(Ed.), Encyclopedia of family studies. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley Blackwell. doi:10.1002/9781119085621.wbefs458

40.

Scharp

K. M.

(2016b). Parent-child estrangement: Conditions for disclosure and perceived social network member reactions. Family Relations, 65, 688–700. doi:10.1111/fare.12219

41.

Scharp

K. M.

Dorrance Hall

(2017). Family marginalization, alienation, and estrangement: A review of and call for research that questions the nonvoluntary status of family relationships. Annals of the International Communication Association. doi:10.1080/23808985.2017.1285680

42.

Scharp

K. M.

Thomas

L. J.

(2016). “Family bonds”: Making meaning of parent-child relationships in estrangement narratives. Journal of Family Communication, 16, 32–50. doi:10.1080/15267431.2015.1111215

43.

Scharp

K. M.

Thomas

L. J.

Paxman

C. G.

(2015). “It was the straw that broke the camel’s back”: Exploring the distancing processes communicatively constructed in parent-child estrangement backstories. Journal of Family Communication, 15, 330–348. doi:10.1080/15267431.2015.1076422

44.

Solomon

D. H.

Knobloch

L. K.

(2004). A model of relational turbulence: The role of intimacy, relational uncertainty, and interference from partners in appraisals of irritations. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 795–816. doi:10.1177/0265407504047838

45.

Solomon

D. H.

Weber

K. M.

Steuber

K. R.

(2010). Turbulence in relationship transitions. In Smith

S. W.

Wilson

S. R.

(Eds.), New directions in interpersonal communication research (pp. 115–134). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

46.

Sprecher

Femlee

(1992). The influence of parents and friends on the quality and stability of romantic relationships: A three-wave longitudinal investigation. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 54, 888–900. doi:10.2307/353170