Teasing is both a playful act that can be used to convey closeness among friends and a hurtful act that can create distance among enemies. This study explores the nature of this complicated communicative act and how it changes with age, as evidenced in children’s talk through in-depth interviews with participants in 3rd, 6th, and 10th grade. In fact, children and teens deftly use the term “teasing” to mean different things. Teasing for third graders is a negative activity used only among disliked peers. It can be used to harm and hurt feelings. In fact, any positive banter between children is referred to as “just teasing,” which is different from teasing. Although negative teasing persists throughout childhood, by sixth grade, children have learned to use teasing with friends by relying on relational cues to interpret the ambiguous act and begin to see teasing as a functional activity. By 10th grade, teens continued social and cognitive development correspond with their use of teasing to build relationships, broach difficult topics, and manage embarrassing situations. Recommendations are made for better understanding how adults, teachers, and researchers might better approach teasing developmentally, as well as why we should consider further work to help understand its relationship to bullying and harassment, while retaining the prosocial aspects of teasing.
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