This investigation examined whether the strain of ignoring another depends on the other’s desirability as a relationship partner. Participants were asked to ignore or converse with highly likeable (polite and egalitarian) or highly unlikeable (rude and bigoted) acquaintance. They then completed a task in which good performance hinged on successful thought regulation. Study 1 revealed that participants performed worse in the self-regulatory task after conversing with (compared to ignoring) the unlikeable person but performed slightly better after conversing with (compared to ignoring) the likeable person. Study 2 replicated this crossover interaction using an alternative measure of self-regulation. The findings suggest that the use of silent treatment may allow one to conserve regulatory resources during aversive social interactions.
BaumeisterR. F.BratslavskyE.MuravenM.TiceD. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1252–1265. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1252
2.
BaumeisterR. F.LearyM. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 115, 497–529.
3.
BaumeisterR. F.TiceD. M. (1990). Anxiety and social exclusion. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9, 165–195. doi:10.1521/jscp.1990.9.2.165
4.
BuckinghamJ. (2002). Leprosy in Colonial South India: Medicine and Confinement. New York, NY: Palgrave.
5.
BusbyD. M.HolmanT. B. (2009). Perceived match or mismatch on the Gottman conflict styles: Associations with relationship outcome variables. Family Process, 48, 531–545. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2009.01300.x
6.
BussD. M.GomesM.HigginsD. S.LauterbachK. (1987). Tactics of manipulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 1219–1229. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.52.6.1219
7.
CiaroccoN. J.SommerK. L.BaumeisterR. F. (2001). Ostracism and ego depletion: The strain of saying anything. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 1156–1163. doi:10.1177/0146167201279008
8.
CunninghamM. R.BarbeeA.DruenB. (1997). Social allergens and the reactions that they produce in love and work. In KowalskiR. (Ed.) Aversive Interpersonal Behaviors (pp. 189–214). New York, NY: Plenum.
9.
CunninghamM. R.ShamblenS. R.BarbeeA. P.AultL. K. (2005). Social allergies in romantic relationships: Behavioral repetition, emotional sensitization, and dissatisfaction in dating couples. Personal Relationships, 12, 273–295. doi:10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00115.x
10.
DaltonA. N.ChartrandT. L.FinkelE. J. (2010). The scheme-driven chameleon: How mimicry affects executive and self-regulatory resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 605–617. doi:10.1037/a0017629
11.
DewallC. N.BaumeisterR. F.StillmanT. F.GailliotM. T. (2007. Violence restrained: Effects of self-regulation and its depletion on aggression. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 43, 62–76. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2005.12.005
12.
FaulknerS.WilliamsK.ShermanB.WilliamsE. (1997, May). The “silent treatment:” Its incidence and impact. Presented at the 69th Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago.
13.
FinkelE. J.CampbellW. K.BrunellA. B.DaltonA. N.ScarbeckS. J.ChartrandT. L. (2006). High-maintenance interaction: Inefficient social coordination impairs self-regulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 456–475. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.91.3.456
14.
GailliotM. T.SchmeichelB. J.BaumeisterR. F. (2006). Self-regulatory processes defend against the threat of death: Effects of self-control depletion and trait self-control on thoughts and fears of dying. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 49–62. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.91.1.49
15.
GilbertD. T. (1991). How mental systems believe. American Psychologist, 46, 107–119. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.46.2.107
16.
GilbertD. T.KrullD. S.PelhamB. W. (1988). Of thoughts unspoken: Social inference and the self-regulation of behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 55, 685–694. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.55.5.685
17.
GilbertD. T.TafarodiR. W.MaloneP. S. (1993). You cannot believe everything you read. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65, 221–233. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.65.2.221
18.
GottmanJ. M. (1993). The roles of conflict engagement, escalation, and avoidance in marital interaction: A longitudinal view of five types of couples. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 61, 6–15. doi:10.1037/0022-006X.61.1.6
19.
HoggM. A. (2005). All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others: Social identity and marginal membership. In WilliamsK. D.ForgasJ. P.von HippelW. (Eds.), The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection and Bullying. New York, NY: Taylor & Francis Group.
20.
JanisI. L. (1972). Victims of Groupthink. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.
21.
ManerJ. K.DeWallC. N.BaumeisterR. F.SchallerM. (2007). Does social exclusion motivate interpersonal reconnection? Resolving the ‘porcupine problem.’Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 42–55. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.1.42
22.
MayerJ. D.GaschkeY. N. (1988). The experience and meta-experience of mood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 55, 102–111. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.55.1.102
23.
MuravenM.TiceD. M.BaumeisterR. F. (1998). Self-control as limited resource: Regulatory depletion patterns. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 774–789. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.74.3.774
24.
OuwerkerkJ. W.KerrN. L.GallucciM.van LangeP. A. M. (2005). Avoiding the social death penalty: Ostracism and cooperation in social dilemmas. In WilliamsK. D.ForgasJ. P.von HippelW. (Eds.), The social outcast: Ostracism, social exclusion, rejection, and bullying (pp. 321–332). New York, NY: Psychology Press.
25.
RosenblattC.CunninghamM. R. (1976). Television watching and family tension. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 38, 105–111. doi:10.2307/350554
26.
RosenthalR. (1991). Meta-analytic procedures for social research. Newbury Park, CA: Sage. doi:10.4135/9781412984997
27.
SchmeichelB. J.VohsK. D.BaumeisterR. F. (2003). Intellectual performance and ego depletion: Role of the self in logical reasoning and other information processing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 33–46. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.85.1.33
28.
SimmonsR. (2002). Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. Orlando, FL: Harcourt Books.
29.
SommerK. L.WilliamsK. D.CiaroccoN. J.BaumeisterR. F. (2001). When silence speaks louder than words: Explorations into the intrapsychic and interpersonal consequences of social ostracism. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 23, 225–243. doi:10.1207/153248301753225694
30.
VohsK. D.CiaroccoN. J.BaumeisterR. F. (2005). Self-regulation and self-presentation: Regulatory resource depletion impairs impression management and effortful self-presentation depletes regulatory resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 632–657. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.88.4.632
31.
WardL. C.RyanJ. J.AxelrodB. N. (2000). Confirmatory factor analysis of the WAIS-III standardization data. Psychological Assessment, 12, 341–345. doi:10.1037/1040-3590.12.3.341
32.
WesselmannE. D.WirthJ. H.PryorJ. B.ReederG. D.WilliamsK. D. (2013). When do we ostracize?Social Psychological and Personality Science, 4, 108–115. doi:10.1177/1948550612443386
33.
WilliamsK. D. (1997). Social ostracism. In KowalskiR. (Ed.), Aversive Interpersonal Behaviors (pp. 133–170). New York, NY: Plenum.
34.
WilliamsK. D. (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 425–452. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085641
35.
WilliamsK. D.ShoreW. J.GraheJ. E. (1998). The silent treatment: Perceptions of its behaviors and associated feelings. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 1, 117–141. doi:10.1177/1368430298012002
36.
WilliamsK. D.SommerK. L. (1997). Social ostracism by coworkers: Does rejection lead to loafing or compensation?Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 693–706. doi:10.1177/0146167297237003
