This study examined relationship styles of self-focused autonomy, other-focused connectedness, or mutuality with mothers, fathers, best friends, and romantic partners to determine if styles would be used consistently or would vary across relationships. Participants included 257 college students (M= 21.6 years). Mutuality was the most commonly reported relationship style in all relationship contexts, and no sex differences in style were found. Most participants reported using more than one relationship style across contexts, however, and styles were linked to perceptions of power within relationships: autonomy was associated with dominance, connectedness to subordinance, and mutuality to equality. Autonomy was linked to the worst psychological outcomes with parents (in terms of relationship satisfaction, self-worth, and depression), and mutuality was linked to the best outcomes with romantic partners and best friends. Findings caution against the dichotomization of autonomy and connectedness into bipolar opposites, because the integration of these two concerns is more typical in relationships. They also support the contention that orientations towards autonomy and connectedness are best conceptualized as responses to contextual features of relationships–including circumstances of power–rather than stable, fundamental aspects of self.
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