Failure to Grow Up,Failure to Pay? Parents’ Views of Conflict Over Money With Their Emerging Adults

Abstract

Grounded in the theoretical frameworks of emerging adulthood and intergenerational ambivalence, parental concerns about their child’s attainment of adulthood was investigated as the focal predictor of the likelihood of monetary conflict between American parents and emerging adults. A national sample of 791 parents (51% female; 73% White) of emerging adults (18-29 years old) completed surveys. Results showed that 43% of parents experienced monetary conflict with their emerging adult, and one in five were “very concerned” that their child would not attain adulthood. Additionally, the odds of monetary conflict were 3.11 times higher when parents endorsed greater concerns about attaining adulthood (e.g., might never become fully adult). This association was the strongest beyond key demographic, parental well-being, and parent–emerging adult relationship factors. Findings help illuminate the basis of monetary conflict in emerging adulthood and indicate parents’ fears of “failure to launch” may have very real consequences, suggesting implications for financial socialization.

Keywords

parent–emerging adult conflict parental financial support intergenerational ambivalence parent–emerging adult relationships failure to launch

Get full access to this article

View all access options for this article.

References

Aquilino

W. S.

(2006). Family relationships and support systems in emerging adulthood. In Arnett

J. J.

Tanner

J. L.

(Eds.), Emerging adults in America: Coming of age in the 21st century (pp. 193-217). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Aquilino

W. S.

Supple

K. R.

(1991). Parent-child relations and parent’s satisfaction with living arrangements when adult children live at home. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 13-27. doi:10.2307/353130

Arnett

J. J.

(2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55, 469-480. doi:10.1037//0003-066X.55.5.46

Arnett

J. J.

(2015). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Arnett

J. J.

Fishel

(2013). Getting to 30: A parent’s guide to the 20-something years. New York, NY: Workman.

Arnett

J. J.

Schwab

(2012). The Clark University poll of emerging adults, 2012: Thriving, struggling, and hopeful. Worcester, MA: Clark University.

Arnett

J. J.

Schwab

, (2013). The Clark University poll of parents of emerging adults, 2013: Parents and their grown kids: Harmony, support, and (occassional) conflict. Worcester, MA: Clark University.

Arundel

Ronald

(2015). Parental co-residence, shared living and emerging adulthood in Europe: Semi-dependent housing across welfare regime and housing system contexts. Journal of Youth Studies, 19, 885-905.

Ascher

Anderer

(2015, May 02). Failure to launch syndrome: What you need to know to help your dependent adult child. Huffington Post. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-ascher-md/failure-to-launch-syndrom_b_6709206.html

10.

Becker

G. S.

(2009). Human capital: A theoretical analysis with special reference to education (3rd ed.). Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.

11.

Berry

(2006). What accounts for race and ethnic differences in parental financial transfers to adult children in the United States? Journal of Family Issues, 27, 1583-1604. doi:10.1177/0192513X06291498

12.

Birditt

K. S.

Miller

L. M.

Fingerman

K. L.

Lefkowitz

E. S.

(2009). Tensions in the parent and adult child relationship: Links to solidarity and ambivalence. Psychology and Aging, 24, 287-295. doi:10.1037/a0015196

13.

Blumberg

S. J.

Luke

J. V.

(2013). Wireless substitution: Early release from National Health Interview Survey. Atlanta, GA: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

14.

Bradley

R. H.

Corwyn

R. F.

(2002). Socioeconomic status and child development. Annual Review of Psychology, 53, 371-399. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.53.100901.135233

15.

Burn

Szoeke

(2016). Boomerang families and failure-to-launch: Commentary on adult children living at home. Maturitas, 83, 9-12. doi:10.1016/j.maturitas.2015.09.004

16.

Cichy

K. E.

Lefkowitz

E. S.

Davis

E. M.

Fingerman

K. L.

(2013). “You are such a disappointment!”: Negative emotions and parents’ perceptions of adult children’s lack of success. Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 68, 893-901. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbt053

17.

Conger

R. D.

Elder

G. H.

Lorenz

F. O.

Simons

R. L.

(1994). Economic stress, coercive family process, and developmental problems of adolescents. Child Development, 65, 541-561. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.1994.tb00768.x

18.

Connidis

I. A.

McMullin

J. A.

(2002). Sociological ambivalence and family ties: A critical perspective. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 558-567. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2002.00558.x

19.

Crocetti

Tagliabue

Sugimura

Nelson

L. J.

Takahashi

Niwa

. . . Jinno

(2015). Perceptions of emerging adulthood: A study with Italian and Japanese university students and young workers. Emerging Adulthood, 3, 229-243. doi:10.1177/2167696815569848

20.

Darling

Steinberg

(1993). Parenting style as context: An integrative model. Psychological Bulletin, 113, 487-496. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.113.3.487

21.

Descartes

(2006). “Put your money where your love is”: Parental aid to adult children. Journal of Adult Development, 13, 137-147. doi:10.1007/s10804-007-9023-6

22.

Fingerman

Miller

Birditt

Zarit

(2009). Giving to the good and the needy: Parental support of grown children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71, 1220-1233. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2009.00665.x

23.

Fingerman

K. L.

Yahirun

J. J.

(2015). Emerging adulthood in the context of family. In Arnett

J. J.

(Ed.), The oxford handbook of emerging adulthood (pp. 163-189). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

24.

Furstenberg

(2010). On a new schedule: Transitions to adulthood and family change. Future of Children, 20, 67-87.

25.

Gaalen

R. I. V.

Dykstra

P. A.

(2006). Solidarity and conflict between adult children and parents: A latent class analysis. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68, 947-960. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2006.00306.x

26.

Greenhaus

J. H.

Beutell

N. J.

(1985). Sources of conflict between work and family roles. Academy of Management Review, 10(1), 76-88. doi:10.5465/amr.1985.4277352

27.

Hartnett

C. S.

Furstenberg

F. F.

Birditt

K. S.

Fingerman

K. L.

(2013). Parental support during young adulthood: Why does assistance decline with age? Journal of Family Issues, 34, 975-1007. doi:10.1177/0192513X12454657

28.

Johnson

M. K.

(2013). Parental financial assistance and young adults’ relationships with parents and well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 75, 713-733. doi:10.1111/jomf.12029

29.

Jorgensen

B. L.

Savla

(2010). Financial literacy of young adults: The importance of parental socialization. Family Relations, 59, 465-478. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2010.00616.x

30.

Kenyon

D. B.

Koerner

S. S.

(2009). Examining emerging-adults’ and parents’ expectations about autonomy during the transition to college. Journal of Adolescent Research, 24, 293-320. doi:10.1177/0743558409333021

31.

Kim

Choi

Chatterjee

Kim

(2012). The motivation for intergenerational time and financial transfers. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 40, 373-397. doi:10.1111/j.1552-3934.2012.02118.x

32.

Kornrich

Furstenberg

(2013). Investing in children: Changes in parental spending on children, 1972–2007. Demography, 50, 1-23. doi:10.1007/s13524-012-0146-4

33.

Lebowitz

E. R.

(2016). “Failure to launch”: Shaping intervention for highly dependent adult children. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 55, 89-90. doi:10.1016/j.jaac.2015.10.014

34.

Lowe

Dotterer

A. M.

(2017). Parental involvement during the college transition: A review and suggestion for its conceptual definition. Journal of Adolescent Research Review, 3, 29-42. doi:10.1007/s40894-017-0058-z

35.

Lüscher

Pillemer

(1998). Intergenerational ambivalence: A new approach to the study of parent-child relations in later life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60, 413-425. doi:10.2307/353858

36.

Marshall

E. A.

Butler

(2015). School-to-work transitions in emerging adulthood. In Arnett

J. J.

(Ed.), The Oxford handbook of emerging adulthood (pp. 316-333). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

37.

Mendonça

Fontaine

A. M.

(2013). Late nest leaving in Portugal: Its effects on individuation and parent–child relationships. Emerging Adulthood, 1, 233-244. doi:10.1177/2167696813481773

38.

Michel

J. S.

Kotrba

L. M.

Mitchelson

J. K.

Clark

M. A.

Baltes

B. B.

(2011). Antecedents of work–family conflict: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 32, 689-725. doi:10.1002/job.695

39.

Minuchin

(1985). Families and individual development: Provocations from the field of family therapy. Child Development, 56, 289-302. doi:10.2307/1129720

40.

Nelson

S. C.

Bahrassa

N. F.

Syed

Lee

R. M.

(2015). Transitions in young adulthood: Exploring trajectories of parent–child conflict during college. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 545-551. doi:10.1037/cou0000078

41.

Nelson

L. J.

Padilla-Walker

L. M.

Carroll

J. S.

Madsen

S. D.

Barry

C. M.

Badger

(2007). “If you want me to treat you like an adult, start acting like one!” Comparing the criteria that emerging adults and their parents have for adulthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, 665-674. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.4.665

42.

Nelson

L. J.

Padilla-Walker

L. M.

Christensen

K. J.

Evans

C. A.

Carroll

J. S.

(2011). Parenting in emerging adulthood: An examination of parenting clusters and correlates. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40, 730-743. doi:10.1007/s10964-010-9584-8

43.

Norona

J. C.

Preddy

T. M.

Welsh

D. P.

(2015). How gender shapes emerging adulthood. In Arnett

J. J.

(Ed.), The Oxford handbook of emerging adulthood (pp. 62-86). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

44.

Padilla-Walker

L. M.

Nelson

L. J.

Carroll

J. S.

(2012). Affording emerging adulthood: Parental financial assistance of their college-aged children. Journal of Adult Development, 19, 50-58. doi:10.1007/s10804-011-9134-y

45.

Padilla-Walker

L. M.

Nelson

L. J.

Knapp

D. J.

(2014). “Because I’m still the parent, that’s why!” Parental legitimate authority during emerging adulthood. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 3, 293-313. doi:10.1177/0265407513494949

46.

Papp

L. M.

Cummings

E. M.

Goeke-Morey

M. C.

(2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58, 91-103. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00537.x

47.

Parker

Patton

(2013). The sandwich generation: Rising financial burdens for middle-aged Americans. Washington, DC: Pew Research Center.

48.

Pillemer

Suitor

J. J.

(2002). Explaining mothers’ ambivalence toward their adult children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 602-613. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2002.00602.x

49.

Renk

Roddenberry

Oliveros

Roberts

Meehan

Liljequist

(2007). An examination of conflict in emerging adulthood between college students and their parents. Journal of Intergenerational Relationships, 4, 43-61. doi:10.1300/J194v04n04_04

50.

Schoeni

R. F.

Ross

K. E.

(2005). Material assistance from families during the transition to adulthood. In Settersten

R. A.

Furstenberg

F. F.

Rumbaut

R. G.

(Eds.), On the frontier of adulthood: Theory, research, and public policy (pp. 396-416). Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.

51.

Serido

Shim

Mishra

Tang

(2010). Financial parenting, financial coping behaviors, and well-being of emerging adults. Family Relations, 59, 453-464. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2010.00615.x

52.

Settersten

R. A.

(2012). The contemporary context of young adulthood in the USA: From demography to development, from private troubles to public issues. In Booth

McHale

S. M.

(Eds.), Early adulthood in a family context (p. 3-26). New York, NY: Springer.

53.

Shim

Barber

B. L.

Card

N. A.

Xiao

J. J.

Serido

(2010). Financial socialization of first-year college students: The roles of parents, work, and education. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 39, 1457-1470. doi:10.1007/s10964-009-9432-x

54.

Silverstein

Conroy

S. J.

Wang

Giarrusso

Bengtson

V. L.

(2002). Reciprocity in parent–child relations over the adult life course. Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 57, S3-S13. doi:10.1093/geronb/57.1.S3

55.

Silverstein

Lendon

Giarrusso

(2012). Ethnic and cultural diversity in aging families: Implications for resource allocation and well-being. In Blieszer

Bedford

V. H.

(Eds.), Handbook of families and aging (2nd ed., pp. 287-308). Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger.

56.

Sorgente

Lanz

(2017). Emerging adults’ financial well-being: A scoping review. Adolescent Research Review, 2, 255-292. doi:10.1007/s40894-016-0052-x

57.

Swartz

T. T.

Kim

Uno

Mortimer

O’Brien

K. B.

(2011). Safety nets and scaffolds: Parental support in the transition to adulthood. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73, 414-429. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00815.x

58.

Taber-Thomas

Perez-Edgar

(2015). Emerging adulthood brain development. In Arnett

J. J.

(Ed.), The Oxford handbook of emerging adulthood (pp. 126-141). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

59.

Tanner

J. L.

(2006). Recentering during emerging adulthood: A critical turning point in life span human development. In Arnett

J. J.

Tanner

J. L.

(Eds.), Emerging adults in America: Coming of age in the 21st century (pp. 21-55). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

60.

U.S. Census Bureau. (2012a). Annual estimates of the resident population by sex, age, race, and Hispanic origin for the United States: April 1, 2010 to July 1, 2012. Retrieved from https://factfinder.census.gov/faces/tableservices/jsf/pages/productview.xhtml?src=bkmk

61.

U.S. Census Bureau. (2012b). Detailed years of school completed by people 25 years and over by sex, age groups, race and Hispanic origin (Table 3). Retrieved from https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2012/demo/educational-attainment/cps-detailed-tables.html

62.

Whiteman

S. D.

McHale

S. M.

Crouter

A. C.

(2011). Family relationships from adolescence to early adulthood: Changes in the family system following firstborns’ leaving home. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 21, 461-474. doi:10.1111/j.1532- 7795.2010.00683.x

63.

Willson

A. E.

Shuey

K. M.

Elder

G. H.

Jr. Wickrama

K. A. S.

(2006). Ambivalence in mother-adult child relations: A dyadic analysis. Social Psychology Quarterly, 69, 235-252. doi:10.1177/019027250606900302