During the past 20 years, the number of women and men who endorse egalitarian relationships has steadily increased. Yet, marital inequality continues to be the norm. Why the gap? In 41 structured interviews with respondents in dual-career marriages, domestic task sharing and decision making (the most salient criteria for social scientists) were the most frequently cited criteria for evaluating equality in marriages other than their own. However, in response to self-referential questions, relationship characteristics and attitudes (e.g., mutual respect, commitment, reciprocity, and supportiveness) were used more frequently than behavioral observations. Men and women were equally likely to endorse relationship equality as ideal. Women, however, rated equality as less important to men than men reported it to be, and men rated equality as more important to women than women reported it to be. The majority stated that equal relationships benefit both husbands and wives, but a significant minority emphasized the costs to men and benefits to women.
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