Balancing Skills and Challenges: Exploring the Concept of Relational Engagement in Combined Group and One-On-One Mentoring for Adolescent Girls

Abstract

This study explored engagement in interpersonal relationships within the context of combined group and one-on-one mentoring. Using flow theory, we propose that “relational flow” requires an optimal balance between an individual's relational skills and the challenges inherent in relationship development. The Young Women Leaders Program (YWLP) is a relationally based after-school program for early adolescent girls that combines structured group time with one-on-one mentoring. Researchers explored relational engagement through interviews with seventh-grade participants and group observations. Results indicated that four relational processes occurred that made girls feel more comfortable: (1) giving advice and helping, (2) asking questions/reaching out, (3) sharing and opening up, and (4) spending time with/being there for them. These processes helped the adolescent girls feel closer to and more comfortable with both mentors and peers by reducing feelings of anxiety or self-consciousness, thus freeing them to experience relational flow. The group also provided a safe context for girls to stretch their relational skills and appeared to mitigate the relational challenges associated with a new one-on-one mentoring relationship. This study presents a conceptual model of relational engagement and suggests that this may be a critical component for girls in out-of-school programming.

A group of girls and their mentors are sitting in a circle talking about “boy problems.” One girl, Ann, shares that she and her friend like the same boy and she is not sure what to do. A mentor suggests that both girls could find another guy. “It's not worth the friendship,” she says. Ann chimes in with “Unless he's really cute!” Another girl, Shantel, agrees with Ann. “Sometimes it is [worth the friendship].” The mentors laugh, saying, “Not in seventh grade! It is not worth losing your friendship over a boy.” But Ann seems stuck on the boy. When asked for a suggestion of something positive her peer could do, Ann says, “Have the guy choose.” A mentor asks what would be the pros of that idea. Shantel answers, “If he picks you, you feel good about yourself.” The mentor nods and adds, “So I guess the con is if he doesn't pick you, you don't feel good.” Ann and Shantel are in agreement that both would leave their friend for the guy. A third girl shakes her head, disagreeing with her peers, saying it's not worth the friendship.

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