Expressing gratitude often strengthens relationships, yet many people say “thank you” despite not feeling especially grateful. Although this may seem innocuous, are there hidden costs? We tested the effects of expressed, perceived, and accurate perceptions of gratitude amplification on romantic couples’ personal and relational well-being across four dyadic studies (Ncouples = 639), including lab conversations (Studies 1a and 2a), naturalistically in daily life (Studies 1b and 2b), and over time (Studies 3 and 4). Findings indicated that higher expressed and perceived gratitude amplification did yield personal and interpersonal costs, which were mediated by lower authenticity and responsiveness. Effects could not be accounted for by alternative explanations, including expressers feeling lower relationship satisfaction or less grateful for their partner. Altogether, we identify a hidden cost of gratitude expressions, indicating that amplified gratitude can undermine couples’ well-being by compromising authenticity and responsiveness.
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