Instrumentality—the extent to which one facilitates another person’s goal progress—has been described as the Rosetta Stone of attraction, and promotes closeness in ongoing relationships. Yet prior work has not examined whether people might regulate their instrumentality in contexts in which they desire (vs. do not desire) attraction or closeness with others. Four studies, employing imagined online scenario and in-lab experimental paradigms, examined whether people strive to be more instrumental to potential romantic partners (targets) under conditions that lead them to be more (vs. less) romantically interested in those targets. Single participants were more romantically interested in romantically available versus unavailable targets, which in turn, was associated with greater willingness to be instrumental. Results for romantically involved participants were less consistent. Implications and future directions are discussed.
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