Why do some people report more personal improvement from their regret experiences than others? Three studies examined whether self-compassion promotes personal improvement derived from recalled regret experiences. In Study 1, we coded anonymous regret descriptions posted on a blog website. People who spontaneously described their regret with greater self-compassion were also judged as having expressed more personal improvement. In Study 2, higher trait self-compassion predicted greater self-reported and observer-rated personal improvement derived from recalled regret experiences. In Study 3, people induced to take a self-compassionate perspective toward a recalled regret experience reported greater acceptance, forgiveness, and personal improvement. A multiple mediation analysis comparing acceptance and forgiveness showed self-compassion led to greater personal improvement, in part, through heightened acceptance. Furthermore, self-compassion’s effects on personal improvement were distinct from self-esteem and were not explained by adaptive emotional responses. Overall, the results suggest that self-compassion spurs positive adjustment in the face of regrets.
AhernC. (2012). Where rainbows end. London, UK; Harper Collins.
2.
AllenA. B.BartonJ.StevensonO. (2015). Presenting a self-compassionate image after an interpersonal transgression. Self and Identity, 14, 33-50.
3.
AllenA. B.GoldwasserE. R.LearyM. R. (2012). Self-compassion and well-being among older adults. Self and Identity, 11, 428-453.
4.
AltiereM. J.von KlugeS. (2009). Family functioning and coping behaviors in parents of children with autism. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 18, 83-92.
5.
BakerL. R.McNultyJ. K. (2011). Self-compassion and relationship maintenance: The moderating roles of conscientiousness and gender. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100, 853-873.
6.
BellizziK. M.BlankT. O. (2006). Predicting posttraumatic growth in breast cancer survivors. Health Psychology, 25, 47-56.
7.
BreinesJ. G.ChenS. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38, 1133-1143.
8.
BrionJ. M.LearyM. R.DrabkinA. S. (2014). Self-compassion and reactions to serious illness: The case of HIV. Journal of Health Psychology, 19, 218-229.
9.
CarverC. S.AntoniM. H. (2004). Finding benefit in breast cancer during the year after diagnosis predicts better adjustment 5 to 8 years after diagnosis. Health Psychology, 23, 595-598.
10.
CarverC. S.ScheierM. F.WeintraubJ. K. (1989). Assessing coping strategies: A theoretically based approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 56, 267-283.
11.
CattellR. B. (1969). Comparing factor traits and state scores across ages and cultures. Journal of Gerontology, 24, 348-360.
12.
ChangH. L.LinH. (2012). Forgiveness as a mediator for the relationship between spirituality and posttraumatic growth in aceh conflict victims in Indonesia. International Journal of Social Science and Humanity, 2, 237-241.
13.
CostaJ.Pinto-GouveiaJ. (2011). Acceptance of pain, self-compassion and psychopathology: Using the chronic pain acceptance questionnaire to identify patients’ subgroups. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 18, 292-302.
14.
CostaJ.Pinto-GouveiaJ. (2013). Experiential avoidance and self-compassion in chronic pain. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 43, 1578-1591.
15.
EpstudeK.JonasK. J. (2014). Regret and counterfactual thinking in the face of inevitability: The case of HIV-positive men. Social Psychological & Personality Science, 6, 157-163.
16.
FranklV. E. (1963). Man’s search for meaning. New York, NY: Washington Square Press.
17.
GilovichT.MedvecV. H. (1994). The temporal pattern to the experience of regret. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 357-365.
18.
GilovichT.MedvecV. H. (1995). The experience of regret: What, when, and why. Psychological Review, 102, 379-395.
19.
GilovichT.MedvecV. H.KahnemanD. (1998). Varieties of regret: A debate and partial resolution. Psychological Review, 105, 602-605.
20.
GrossJ. J.JohnO. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 348-362.
21.
HelgesonV. S.ReynoldsK. A.TomichP. L. (2006). A meta-analytic review of benefit finding and growth. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 797-816.
22.
HenrichJ.HeineS. J.NorenzayanA. (2010). The weirdest people in the world?Behavioral & Brain Sciences, 33, 61-83.
23.
HillP. L.AllemandM.BurrowA. L. (2010). Identity development and forgivingness: Tests of basic relations and mediational pathways. Personality and Individual Differences, 49, 497-501.
24.
HofmannS. G.HeeringS.SawyerA. T.AsnaaniA. (2009). How to handle anxiety: The effects of reappraisal, acceptance, and suppression strategies on anxious arousal. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 47, 389-394.
25.
KingL. A.HicksJ. A. (2007). Whatever happened to “what might have been”? Regrets, happiness, and maturity. American Psychologist, 62, 625-636.
26.
KingL. A.RaspinC. (2004). Lost and found possible selves, subjective well-being, and ego development in divorced women. Journal of Personality, 72, 603-632.
27.
KingL. A.SmithN. G. (2004). Gay and straight possible selves: Goals, identity, subjective well-being, and personality development. Journal of Personality, 72, 967-994.
28.
LearyM. R.TateE. B.AdamsC. E.Batts AllenA.HancockJ. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904.
29.
McCulloughM. E. (2000). Forgiveness as human strength: Theory, measurement, and links to well-being. Journal of Social & Clinical Psychology, 19, 43-55.
30.
McGregorB. A.AntoniM. H.BoyersA.AlferiS. M.BlombergB. B.CarverC. S. (2004). Cognitive-behavioral stress management increases benefit finding and immune function among women with early-stage breast cancer. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 56, 1-8.
31.
MorrisonM.RoeseN. J. (2011). Regrets of the typical American: Findings from a nationally representative sample. Social Psychological & Personality Science, 2, 576-583.
32.
NeffK. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2, 223-250.
33.
NeffK. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social & Personality Psychology Compass, 5, 1-12.
34.
NeffK. D.GermerC. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69, 28-44.
35.
NeffK. D.HsiehY. P.DejitteratK. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self and Identity, 4, 263-287.
36.
NeffK. D.PisitsungkagarnK.HsiehY. P. (2008). Self-compassion and self-construal in the United States, Thailand, and Taiwan. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 39, 267-285.
37.
NeffK. D.PommierE. (2013). The relationship between self-compassion and other-focused concern among college undergraduates, community adults, and practicing meditators. Self and Identity, 12, 160-176.
38.
PennebakerJ. W.FrancisM. E.BoothR. J. (2001). Linguistic inquiry and word count: LIWC 2001. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
39.
PreacherK. J.HayesA. F. (2008). Asymptotic and resampling strategies for assessing and comparing indirect effects in multiple mediator models. Behavior Research Methods, 40, 879-891.
40.
RaesF.PommierE.NeffK. D.Van GuchtD. (2011). Construction and factorial validation of a short form of the self-compassion scale. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 18, 250-255.
41.
ReisN. A.KowalskiK. C.FergusonL. J.SabistonC. M.SedgwickW. A.CrockerP. R. (2015). Self-compassion and women athletes’ responses to emotionally difficult sport situations: An evaluation of a brief induction. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 16, 18-25.
42.
RobinsR. W.HendinH. M.TrzesniewskiK. H. (2001). Measuring global self-esteem: Construct validation of a single-item measure and the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 151-161.
43.
RoeseN. J.SummervilleA. (2005). What we regret most . . . and why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 1273-1285.
44.
RosenbergM. (1965). Society and the adolescent self-image. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
45.
SaffreyC.SummervilleA.RoeseN. J. (2008). Praise for regret: People value regret above other negative emotions. Motivation and Emotion, 32, 46-54.
46.
SbarraD. A.SmithH. L.MehlM. R. (2012). When leaving your ex, love yourself: Observational ratings of self-compassion predict the course of emotional recovery following marital separation. Psychological Science, 23, 261-269.
47.
ScheierM. F.CarverC. S. (1985). Optimism, coping, and health: Assessment and implications of generalized outcome expectancies. Health Psychology, 4, 219-247.
48.
SearsS. R.StantonA. L.Danoff-BurgS. (2003). The yellow brick road and the emerald city: Benefit finding, positive reappraisal coping and posttraumatic growth in women with early-stage breast cancer. Health Psychology, 22, 487-497.
49.
ShapiraL. B.MongrainM. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 377-389.
50.
SpencerS. J.ZannaM. P.FongG. T. (2005). Establishing a causal chain: Why experiments are often more effective than mediational analyses in examining psychological processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, 845-851.
51.
StewartA. J.VandewaterE. A. (1999). “If I had it to do over again . . . ”: Midlife review, midcourse corrections, and women’s well-being in midlife. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 270-283.
52.
TedeschiR. G.CalhounL. G. (1996). The posttraumatic growth inventory: Measuring the positive legacy of trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9, 455-471.
53.
TerryM. L.LearyM. R.MehtaS.HendersonK. (2013). Self-compassionate reactions to health threats. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 39, 911-926.
54.
ThompsonL. Y.SnyderC. R.HoffmanL. (2005). Dispositional forgiveness of self, others, and situations. Journal of Personality, 73, 313-360.
55.
TorgesC. M.StewartA. J.Nolen-HoeksemaS. (2008). Regret resolution, aging, and adapting to loss. Psychology and Aging, 23, 169-180.
56.
UpdegraffJ. A.SilverR. C.HolmanE. A. (2008). Searching for and finding meaning in collective trauma: Results from a national longitudinal study of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 70-722.
57.
UpdegraffJ. A.TaylorS. E. (2000). From vulnerability to growth: Positive and negative effects of stressful life events. In HarveyJ. H.MillerE. D. (Eds.), Handbook of loss and trauma (pp. 3-28). New York, NY: Bruner/Mazel.
58.
WallaceH. M.ExlineJ. J.BaumeisterR. F. (2008). Interpersonal consequences of forgiveness: Does forgiveness deter or encourage repeat offenses?Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44, 453-460.
59.
WareB. (2012). The top five regrets of the dying: A life transformed by the dearly departing. Brighton-Le-Sands, Australia: Hay House.
60.
WolgastM.LundhL. G.ViborgG. (2011). Cognitive reappraisal and acceptance: An experimental comparison of two emotion regulation strategies. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 49, 858-866.
61.
WroschC.BauerI.ScheierM. F. (2005). Regret and quality of life across the adult life span: The influence of disengagement and available future goals. Psychology and Aging, 20, 657-670.
Supplementary Material
Please find the following supplemental material available below.
For Open Access articles published under a Creative Commons License, all supplemental material carries the same license as the article it is associated with.
For non-Open Access articles published, all supplemental material carries a non-exclusive license, and permission requests for re-use of supplemental material or any part of supplemental material shall be sent directly to the copyright owner as specified in the copyright notice associated with the article.
