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Abstract

The authors' translation of a Korean novel is used to explore marital dynamics when the woman is terminally ill. In Korean marriages, the wife is typically self-sacrificing, the husband gruff, and the couple relationship distant and based on a strict division of labor. The novel traces the relationship from the woman's first concerns about her health. The husband struggles to deal with the diagnosis—his denial, alcohol use, rage, shame, and realization of how unhelpful, unappreciative, and uncaring he has been. The story moves to the couple's struggle to bridge the relationship chasm between them and say what is in their hearts. They remain in role, him unable to give her things she wants and she dissatisfied and self-sacrificing. Finally, he is able to express his appreciation and apologies by doing chores and saying things that are out of role for a Korean man. They communicate their love in understated but deeply caring ways.

Keywords

marriage terminal illness dying Korea cancer gender

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Self-Sacrificing Wife,Gruff Husband: Hee Gyung Noh's View of Terminal Illness in a Korean Marriage

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