Thanks for Asking,but Let’s Talk About Something Else

Abstract

When people engage in explicit topic avoidance, they risk offending or hurting others. Using a goals theoretical framework, we examined how goal-relevant message features influenced participants’ reactions to hypothetical topic-avoidance messages. Participants in this experiment (N = 536) responded to messages that friends might use to deflect a question about a stressful situation. Five types of messages reflected conventionally relevant interaction goals. Results indicated that message features influenced reactions (e.g., judgments of competence, and emotional and verbal responses) and that messages were generally perceived as more competent if they featured secondary relational and identity goals while simultaneously expressing the desire to avoid the subject. Certain secondary goals (e.g., expressing appreciation for the friend’s concern) were especially well received compared with others.