Understanding the perceived psychosocial impact of father absence on adult women

Abstract

Given South Africa’s social, historical, political, and economic landscape which has contributed towards a relatively high prevalence of father absence, particularly in Black families, and the risk of adverse implications for children’s psychosocial development, the issue of absent fathers is an important area for research. However, the differential impact of father absence on the girl child remains relatively under-researched. Hence, the study explored the perceived psychosocial impact of father absence during childhood and adolescence on adult women. A case study research design located within a qualitative research approach was employed and nine adult women aged 18 to 35 years were purposefully recruited from Grobler Park, Johannesburg West for participation in the study. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, three participants were interviewed telephonically and seven face-to-face. The research was guided by Mkhize’s sociocultural psychological tradition and Erikson’s psychosocial development theory. Thematic analysis was employed to analyse the collected data. Among the key findings was that the women perceived the experience of father absence to have adversely affected their feelings of belonging and sense of identity, with some participants having suffered emotional and financial challenges. Participants acknowledged a lack of healthy relationships with other men associated with having grown up with an absent father. While most of the women adopted positive coping strategies, a small number resorted to negative coping. There was also recognition of the important roles that social fathers assume in child-rearing. These findings have important implications for promoting positive father-daughter relations.

The country’s multifaceted historical, social, economic, and political processes have contributed towards father absenteeism in South Africa, particularly in Black families (Makusha et al., 2019). Land dispossession through colonialism, and Apartheid policies such as the creation of homelands and forced settlements, migratory labour policies, influx control, and pass laws all disrupted family relations (Ngcukaitobi, 2021). These policies resulted in the breakdown of the Black African family with many fathers having to leave their wives and children in the rural areas to work in the urban areas. Consequently, the children ended up being raised by grandparents, a single parent or male members of extended families formally known as ‘social fathers’ (Richter & Morrell, 2006). Poverty and unemployment also made it difficult for men to be able to pay damages or lobola. In some South African cultures, inhlawulo/damages refers to monetary compensation paid to a woman’s family by the father of the future child for impregnating a woman out of wedlock. Lobola is an African practice where the groom makes a payment in live cattle or cash to the bride’s family before marriage (bride price). Other factors that have put further strain on family life include HIV/AIDS and substance abuse (Mokomane et al., 2019).

Makusha et al. (2019) highlight the importance of research on fatherhood. They maintain that involved and caring fathers are critical in the lives of children and accessible, supportive, engaged, and responsible fathers enhance girls’ self-confidence and help boys to develop healthy masculinity. Children tend to attend school longer and achieve more when fathers participate in their educational activities (Richter et al., 2011). Moreover, children have been found to have higher self-esteem while females tend to be confident in their relationships with men (Schacht et al., 2009). In contrast, lack of father involvement has been linked to a range of adverse implications for well-being such as stigmatization, substance abuse, and risky sexual behaviour as well as significant economic disadvantages (Heartlines, 2020).

Richter and Morrell (2006) conducted an in-depth study on men and fatherhood in South Africa and explored the complexities that affect fatherhood in the post-apartheid era. Annual reports by Sonke Gender Justice and The Human Sciences Research Council on the State of South Africa’s Fathers highlight general implications of father absence but they provide minimal information about the impact of father absence on female children.

Nevertheless, there are some studies that have explored the impact of father absence on the girl child. For example, Allen and Daly (2007) found that poor academic results, teenage pregnancy, and low self-esteem were among the implications of growing up with an absent father. Padi et al. (2014) analysed the narratives of 20 young women who had grown up with absent fathers. More recently, Kamau and Davies (2018) conducted an empirical study regarding the links between having an absent father and psychosocial development, from the subjective experiences of females. However, the impact of father absence on the girl child remains relatively under-researched. Hence, the aim of the present study was to explore the perceived psychosocial impact of father absence during childhood and adolescence on adult women. Objectives were to examine (1) the attitudes of women towards their biological father (and any social father) and whether he was physically and/or emotionally absent; (2) their perceptions regarding the impact of having an absent father on their sense of identity and self-esteem; (3) the perceived impact of having an absent father on their attitudes towards men and their relationships with men; (4) the benefits and challenges of having an absent father; and (5) the coping strategies they adopted in response to having an absent father.

This study was guided by two theoretical frameworks, namely Erikson’s (1993) psychosocial development theory and Mkhize’s (2006) sociocultural psychological tradition. Erikson’s psychosocial development theory was selected because it focuses on personality progression in a fixed order across the eight stages of psychosocial development. This theory assisted in exploring the women’s attitudes towards their father, whether the father was physically and/or emotionally absent, and the perceived impact on identity and self-esteem. Mkhize’s (2006) sociocultural psychological tradition ‘which conceptualizes identity formation in social, historical, political and ideological terms’ (p. 186) was adopted to complement Erikson’s theory. This approach concentrates on social rather than biological fathering, which is in line with the traditional view of character and family that characterizes African families. This approach emphasizes that collective fatherhood has the capability of enhancing the child’s social capital and may contribute to the child’s emotional, educational, social, and cognitive development. The sociocultural psychological tradition assisted in exploring the women’s relationships with their social fathers.

Method

Participants

The study employed a case study design located within a qualitative research approach. Nine women, aged between 18 and 35, were recruited via purposive and snowball sampling. First, the participants were required to be Black African women between the ages of 18 and 35 years who had grown up with an absent father. The motivation behind the selection of this age group derived from Langa’s (2014) contention that young adults between these ages are constantly and continually searching for their self-identity, especially within their cultural contexts and thus seek to know both the maternal and paternal sides of their family. Given the higher prevalence of father absence among Black persons (Sonke Gender Justice and The Human Sciences Research Council, 2018), the study’s focus was on Black African families only. As the first author had grown up with an absent father, she knew of other women with a similar upbringing, who in turn referred her to other potential participants. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, all participants were approached via phone calls and WhatsApp.

In terms of the biographical profile, participants’ ages ranged from 18 to 31 years. They were all Black females and their home languages included isiZulu, Sepedi, Setswana, and isiXhosa. Two participants had never met their father, while seven knew who their father was but his whereabouts were unknown.

Interview guide

An interview schedule was employed which included closed-ended questions on biographical data and open-ended items designed to explore the five objectives of the study. The interview schedule was pre-tested on two participants who met the inclusion criteria but did not participate in the study. A sample of the interview questions include (1) Was there any other male person who acted as a ‘social father’? In other words, did any other man behave towards you in the manner of a father even though he was not your biological father? (2) Has having an absent father affected the way you feel about yourself, that is, your identity as a person with an absent father? If yes, please describe. (3) Do you think having an absent father may have influenced your attitudes towards men? If yes, in what way?

Procedure

Prior to the commencement of the interviews, participants were given Information Sheets explaining the purpose and procedures of the study and their rights as research participants. They were requested to consent to participation in the study and for audio-recordings of the interviews. Seven participants were interviewed face-to-face while three were interviewed telephonically due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Ethical considerations

The following ethical considerations were considered: voluntary participation, confidentiality, the right to withdraw from the study, and the right to decline to answer any questions they felt uncomfortable with answering. Due to the sensitive nature of the research, counselling was made available to any persons who might have experienced distress as a result of the interview. The study was granted clearance by the University of Johannesburg Faculty of Humanities Research Ethics Committee (Reference number: REC-01-242-2020).

Data analysis

Data were thematically analysed following the six stages outlined by Braun and Clarke (2006), namely, familiarization with the data, generating initial codes, searching for themes, reviewing themes, defining and naming themes, and producing the report (Braun and Clarke, 2006).

Results

Results are presented in accordance with the objectives of the study.

Attitudes towards biological father (and any social father) and whether he was physically and/or emotionally absent

Five themes were identified under this objective:

Theme 1: hatred for biological father due to lack of involvement in their lives

Three of the participants harboured feelings of hatred towards their biological fathers due to his lack of involvement in their lives. One participant expressed animosity towards her biological father for not providing her with protection and essential needs and felt that her father did not make any effort to develop a relationship with her. She explained,

. . . As women we are vulnerable, so you need someone to help you be strong. Someone to help show you the way. And yes, we do have a mother, but there are things that need a father that a mother cannot provide. Even how to protect myself as a woman from GBV, rape. . . . At most I hated him for not standing up for me, in terms of having a relationship with me, I felt like he respected his wife and his relationship with his other children more than me. (Participant 1)

Theme 2: no real feelings because he did not play a role in her life

Participant 3 maintained that she did not have any feelings or attitudes towards her father simply because her father did not raise or provide for her; therefore, this absence created an emotional disconnect between them.

Theme 3: no hatred towards father even though he was absent

Participant 5 emphasized that despite her father having left the family, she did not harbour any negative feelings towards him. ‘But I do not hate him’.

Theme 4: conflict over whether to reconcile with father

Participant 4’s biological father returned after many years, which resulted in her being conflicted on whether to reconcile with him.

Theme 5: appreciation for the positive roles played by social father/s in their lives

Eight of 9 participants appreciated the positive roles that were undertaken by their social fathers. These social fathers played two distinct roles in the participants’ lives. Some social fathers supported the participants materially and emotionally while other social fathers only supported the participants materially. Participant 4 reported, ‘I feel like those were the only men present in my life, I would say those were my father figures to me. Because they were there, they supported me in life up to where I am now . . . ’.

Perceptions regarding the impact of having an absent father on their sense of identity and self-esteem

When asked to elaborate on the perceived impact of having an absent father on their sense of identity and self-esteem, some participants felt that they did not have a sense of belonging, while others felt that they belonged to a family. Moreover, some participants felt that having an absent father had negatively impacted their self-confidence and self-esteem; while others felt that not having a father had not exerted any negative impact in this regard.

Theme 1: no sense of belonging

Participants 1 and 3 felt that having an absent father resulted in their lack of self-identity and sense of belonging. Participant 1 felt that if her father had been present, she would have developed a positive self-identity. She explained,

I feel like if he were here, I would know myself even more, I would have a sense of self even more because, you know as a father you must play a certain role in your daughter’s life. So, if you are not there something is missing. So, I think if he were to be here, I would be more self-aware, be stable in myself. But now I feel like I am all over the place because I feel like I do not belong anywhere.

Another participant felt that having her father absent from her life resulted in her lack of self-awareness and felt that she did not belong anywhere:

I feel like if he were here, I would know myself even more, I would have a sense of self even more because, you know as a father you must play a certain role in your daughter’s life. So, if you are not there something is missing. So, I think if he were to be here, I would be more self-aware. Be stable in myself, but now I feel like I am all over the place because I feel like I do not belong anywhere. (Participant 3)

Theme 2: had a sense of belonging

Three participants felt that their sense of belonging was well developed as they could easily identify with their maternal family. Participant 5 stated,

Culturally, I always felt like I belong. My mom is Sotho and father is Xhosa and both my name and surname are Sotho. So, I never really felt like I should learn my father’s language because I always felt like I belong.

For many of the participants, culture played a significant role in developing a sense of belonging, as expressed by participants using the father’s surname. Participant 1 commented,

I am culture orientated and when my mom moved on and being married, I did not change my surname and the reason behind it is because my father paid damages for me, so clearly, I am identified as part of his family. But I cannot practice some cultural things on his side due to the wife blocking me.

Theme 3: father absence impacted negatively on confidence and self-esteem

For three participants living with an absent father affected their confidence and self-esteem as they had to face life’s challenges alone. The following verbatim quote explains some of the psychological hardships that they had to face:

The fact that he is not here means that there is something missing that he was supposed to be doing in my life, especially when it comes to confidence, relationships, I think he was supposed to be there for me, but because he is not here, I have to figure it out on my own, which is hard as well.

I do not love myself as I should. Because I do not feel worthy of love and loving myself. Because I believe that love is taught, and I was never taught how to love myself. So, I do not know how to love myself. No, no self-confidence. I was not taught how to be confident, for me I was not taught how to confident as well. So that is why I do not have high self-confidence because I feel like I was not appreciated or loved from an early age. (Participant 2)

Theme 4: father absence did not impact negatively on confidence and self-esteem

In contrast to the previous participant, two participants felt that their self-esteem was not adversely affected due to their father’s absence but was enhanced because their mothers and/or grandmothers always affirmed them. Participant 5 asserted, ‘I was raised by my mom and grandmother, so I felt really affirmed by them. I have never felt less than’.

In a similar vein, Participant 8 reflected,

I think my mom did a very good job raising me. So, I have a very high self-confidence because of my mom but I think if he were still alive it would have been higher than it is right now.

Theme 5: father absence affects sense of identity

Two participants emphasized that their sense of identity was adversely affected: ‘I also think the issue of identity is big, I think everyone deserves to know where they come from and who they identify themselves with, that gives one some sort of belonging’ (Participant 9).

The perceived impact of having an absent father on attitudes towards men and relationships with men

Five themes surfaced in this regard.

Theme 1: fear of being hurt by other men

Participants 1, 3, and 6 shared the experience of how they feared being hurt by men. They further explained that they had developed trust issues and had difficulty interacting with men. Participant 1 commented,

. . . I built a wall so that another man does not hurt me the way my father did. For example, the relation I had with my son’s father. Like a lot of times, I was expecting him to hurt me, I was so used to hurt.

Participant 2 feared being hurt by romantic partners: ‘Yes, in terms of romantic relationship I fear being hurt’.

Theme 2: fear of being abandoned

Participant 9 reflected that one of her fears was being abandoned by her romantic partners:

But what I can say is that I view men and relationships with them in a way that is scary, I sometimes do not know how to interact with them or even know what to say to them. When I get into relationships, I fear that they will leave me, just like how my dad left. But I am working on that now, I can’t continue living thinking that every man I meet will hurt me.

Yes, I am a kind of person who has attachment issues. I feel like if somebody comes, they will end up leaving me. I experienced them even in my past relationships. That I feel like if somebody comes, they just want to benefit from me or they want my money or resources and they are going to leave. Like I would say ‘you are here but you are going to leave just like my father left me when I was only three’. (Participant 4)

Theme 3: inability to trust men

The following response from Participant 2 explains the participant’s inability to trust male romantic partners:

Even though I believe that a person is genuine, and they have good intentions, I end up not believing or trusting them. So, I always push good men away because I feel like they are too good to be true.

Theme 4: negatively affected relationships with other men and choice of partners

Some participants believed that their father’s abandonment had a negative impact on how they interact with men in general. Participant 3 clearly stated that she blames her father for every man that leaves her life:

I always blamed him for every man that left me in my relationships. I am always insecure around men uhm. A father needs to teach you how to phatha (behave) yourself in the society, regarding especially men, how to respect yourself as a girl towards men, you know, giving you the confidence to live in a society that has men.

Participant 7 acknowledged that she sought love and validation from men around him, particularly romantic partners: ‘I do not know how to behave around men. I have had many failed relationships because I would seek my father or fatherly love in every man I dated, which was unfair on them’.

Participant 6 contended that father absence damages a person emotionally because it can result in potentially wrong choice of partners:

Well, I really think growing up without a father, damages one emotionally, and I think with us women are kind of different from guys, in a sense that having a father figure or biological father around helps you in determining the type of relationships you have with men around you, and with the type of romantic partners one chooses. So yeah, that’s what I think.

However, Participant 5 changed her perspective on men after she got married:

Because now I am married, before my husband I used to feel negative towards men, I used to not want to get married. And then when I met him my husband, my attitude completely changed. So yes, I think having an absent father changed my attitudes towards men. Because I always thought that’s how men are ‘they make children and then they leave’.

Theme 5: attachment issues

This theme emerged for two participants who explained that they developed unhealthy attachment issues in their romantic relationships in an attempt to fill the void that was left by their absent father.

Yes, I am a kind of person who has attachment issues. I feel like if somebody comes, they just want to benefit from me or they want my money or resources and they are going to leave. Like I would say ‘you are here but you are going to leave just like my father left me when I was only three’. (Participant 4)

The same theme was reflected in Participant 6’s response:

Yes, it has, so in my past relationships I would always seek validation from men or date older men, or even have attachment issues because I would subconsciously want to feel how it was to have a father around, but I did it unaware, and also, I don’t trust men as much because I always feel they will hurt and leave me as my father did.

Benefits and challenges from having an absent father

Benefits

Theme 1: derived no benefits from having an absent father

Five participants believed that living with an absent father did not have any benefits. One participant believed that benefits only apply to women who have present fathers in their lives. Participant 1 reflected, ‘I do not think there are any benefits because I do not know what I would have gotten if I had a relationship with my father. The benefits only apply to those who had fathers’. Participant 5 reiterated that a child needs both parents. ‘I feel like every child needs both parents. So, him not being in my life does not have any benefits. Because I wish like he was still alive so he can teach me a lot of things’.

Theme 2: derived benefits from having an absent father

While some participants did not benefit from having an absent father, others believed it benefitted them in other ways. These benefits varied between having the resilience to survive in life, to the belief that father absence builds emotional strength. ‘I think it made me stronger, it made me be able to stand up for myself and be able to talk for myself, especially against men’ (Participant 2). Participant 9 also concurred with this viewpoint by stating that the benefit she derived from father absence was emotional strength and independence: ‘The benefits would be that I learnt to fend for myself, I sort of know how to protect myself emotionally against men, like I already know red flags’.

Challenges

Theme 1: financial challenges

Four participants reported that they faced financial challenges as their single mothers could not always afford to meet their needs: ‘The challenges were there when I was younger. My mom really struggled financially to support me’ (Participant 7). However, Participant 9 was grateful to her single mother who worked hard and managed to provide for her: ‘But financially my mom really provided me with everything I needed. We never lacked anything, and I am grateful for that’.

Participant 8 described how her mother had struggled to provide for her financial needs: ‘The challenges were there when I was younger. My mom really struggled financially to support me’.

Theme 2: emotional challenges

Four participants also reported that they experienced some emotional challenges, with one participant explaining that she faced several challenges, including financial, emotional, and psychological difficulties: ‘The challenges were financially and emotionally. I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence’ (Participant 2). Participants 3 and 4 emphasized that lack of emotional support from their father was the main challenge they faced: ‘Challenge are things like what a father must do in child’s life. Support their child, be there for them emotionally’ (Participant 3). ‘. . . emotionally when you need someone to talk to things like that’ (Participant 4).

Participant 9 shared the poignant experiences that she faced:

. . . emotional challenges, like sometimes I would just isolate myself in my room and ask myself why he left me. This would lead me into some sort of anxiety. I missed how I would open to him about things I was going through like with my friends or at school.

Theme 3: no challenges as mother provided financial and emotional support

In contrast to the challenges that some of the participants faced, others confirmed that their single mother was able to offer financial and emotional support to them. ‘My mom really did a good job. She managed to be my mother and my father at the same time’ (Participant 3). There was also appreciation and gratitude for the roles played by their mothers. ‘But financially my mom really provided me with everything I needed. We never lacked anything, and I am grateful for that’ (Participant 5).

Coping strategies adopted in response to having an absent father

The participants developed strategies that enabled them to better cope with the challenges caused by father absence. These strategies were categorized into two groups – positive coping and negative coping.

Theme 1: positive coping

One participant stated that her coping strategy was being independent and working to pay for her tertiary studies. Participant 2 explained that she had to overcome everything and develop self-love to cope. She learned that because she could not receive love from her father, she needed to love herself. Participant 3 reflected,

Every time a person mentions their father and good things about them. Or simple things like ‘let me call my dad’, it triggers me. And then I am gonna have a build-up of anger and after some time I am gonna cry it out, then I will be fine.

Both Participants 8 and 9 used acceptance as a coping mechanism. Participant 8, whose father had passed on stated, ‘I have been telling myself that he is no more and believing that my mother will do a good job. So, my coping strategy was acceptance’. Similarly, Participant 10 explained, ‘I just had to accept that he started his new family, and he probably did not want anything to do with me, so that made me cope with his absence’.

Theme 2: negative coping

Two participants resorted to negative coping strategies. Participant 6 explained, ‘I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, I think that’s how I coped’, while Participant 7 described how she constantly felt the need to numb her feelings, thus leading to her addiction to smoking and drinking:

Smoking, and drinking alcohol was probably my coping mechanism, maybe for emotional, because I would want to numb my feelings. Although, I was not diagnosed or whatever, I think my addictions back then when I was a teenager were because of my absent father.

Discussion

The participants’ narratives suggested that most of them harboured feelings of hatred and anger towards their absent biological father because of his lack of protection and involvement in their lives. These findings are consistent with those of Tau (2020) who found that some participants expressed feelings of hatred towards their biological father, for having neglected his children. The implication of this finding is that these women could be living with unresolved feelings of resentment which could negatively affect their other relationships and sense of well-being.

At the same time, they expressed their gratitude towards their social fathers for the physical, emotional, and academic support they provided. According to Mkhize’s sociocultural psychological tradition, within African families, child-rearing is viewed as the shared obligation of the extended family and is linked to the African concept of Ubuntu. Consistent with the African saying that it takes a village to raise a child, ‘the entire community is thus expected to play a vital role in raising children’ (Mkhize, 2008, p. 23). Given the high prevalence of absent fathers in South Africa, shared child-rearing is a strength of African families that needs to be nurtured.

Despite the support from their social fathers, the women struggled to develop a sense of belonging and identity according to their cultural beliefs. These findings were aligned with those of Smith et al. (2014) who explored social identity in a group of young men and women aged 21 to 35 years and found that ‘father absence was associated with lower self-perceptions and non-use of paternal surname with diminished sense of identity’ (p. 433). These findings also have implications in terms of Erikson’s psychosocial development theory as the fifth stage of his theory, namely, identity versus role confusion, suggests that failure to form a sense of identity may result in role confusion (McLeod, 2018). Moreover, in addition to a diminished sense of identity, most participants experienced low self-esteem. These findings support Rosenberg and Wilcox’s (2006) view that emotional well-being plays a significant role in a child’s life, inclusive of high self-esteem and confidence, in the sense that children who have present fathers tend to grow up to be emotionally secure and confident enough to positively navigate through life. In a similar vein, Krohn and Bogan’s (2001) view that females tend to seek acceptance from other people due to experiencing non-acceptance from the father resonates well with the emotional challenges that some participants faced. This notion suggests that an emotionally unavailable father may cause a child to have low self-esteem and confidence, due to the lack of affirmation from the father.

The participants’ responses reflected a lack of trust when it came to intimate relationships with other men, attachment issues, fear of being hurt, fear of commitment and a general inability to sustain healthy relationships. Consistent with these findings, Wilson (2006) asserts that for some women, the absence of a father figure may ‘leave them with a distrust of men so deep that, in extreme cases, marriage is out of the question’ (p. 33). These findings are also in line with Erikson’s sixth stage of the psychosocial development theory, namely, intimacy versus isolation. Erikson highlighted the importance of immediate families – particularly fathers – in fostering positive identities thereby ensuring that young women are secure in their intimate relationships with men. These findings suggest that growing up with an absent father may adversely affect women’s ability to successfully navigate the psychosocial stages of development necessary for healthy functioning.

However, despite their negative relationships with men, some participants reported deriving benefits from living with an absent father such as high levels of independence and resilience, while for others there were challenges such as emotional distress and financial difficulties. While some participants adopted positive coping strategies, others resorted to negative coping mechanisms.

In interpreting these findings, it is important to acknowledge the limitation of possible bias stemming from the first author having grown up with an absent father, although efforts were made to reduce this weakness by engaging in reflexivity. A second limitation relates to the small, non-probability sample which precludes generalization of the findings. A third limitation involved the use of telephonic interviews necessitated by the pandemic, which made it difficult for the interviewer to pick up nonverbal cues such as body language and facial expressions, and gauge participants’ emotional state.

Conclusion

This research indicated that the phenomenon of father absence had a profound impact on the psychological, emotional, and financial well-being of the women in this study. However, the participants’ experiences also revealed that a child who grows up with an absent father may also develop resilience and independence due to the support offered by a single mother, suggesting that being raised by a single mother is not always a negative experience. Nevertheless, the study underlines the importance of promoting positive involvement of fathers in their daughters’ lives – even if they do not live with them. A particular contribution of the study was the melding of individualistic Western psychological insights from Erikson’s (1993) theory with collectivist indigenous African psychological and sociocultural traditions from Mkhize’s (2006) theory, to enhance understanding of the impact of father absence on adult women. The results highlighted the value of cultural factors such as the philosophy of Ubuntu and the collective responsibility of the community for raising a child, and the importance of cultural traditions such as introducing a child to the ancestors and giving him or her one’s surname.