The changeability of human beings over time is the central theme of this article. Emotion in Western society, in particular grief, is selected to provide a case history of mental change over a long time period. Two historical examples are examined: from Greek Antiquity, a scene from Homer’s Iliad, and from around 90 ce, a consolation letter written by Plutarch to his wife. These are contrasted to modern-day psychological advice given to grieving spouses and parents. It is argued that these three examples show discontinuous changes in lived-through experience, and that the transition to the 20th century is tied to the development of the modern self. Finally, the article suggests that a concept (esthema) similar to Foucault’s episteme is in operation here, which can be used to characterise the differences in ‘emotion’ over the three time periods.