Narratives of Power and Abuse in Gay Relationships in the Cape Metropole

Abstract

This qualitative study, which employed a semi-structured guide with in-depth interviews, examines how gay men construct a gay identity and have relationships within a heteronormative society in the Cape Metropole, South Africa. Data were collected via an MP3 player and each interview was transcribed and analysed using content analysis. The sample distribution included 15 gay men aged between 20 to 46 years. Of these, 12 participants were black (six coloured, three Indian, three African) and three were white. The study examined to what extent unequal power relations and forms of abuse are reported in current practices of gay male relationships. In this article, I will unpack how the intersection of class, age, and other forms of social inequality facilitate abuse before examining how abusive experiences reported emerged out of heteronormative stereotypes, where the ‘masculine’¹ partner dominated decision-making and where the ‘feminine’ partner was expected to engage in traditionally ‘feminine roles’. Participants reported surveillance and/or punishment to ensure compliance. In sexual practices, psychological and sexual abuse occurred where normative gender power relations were in operation, leading to experiences of unwanted sexual practices and being infected with HIV. There were further examples where abuse was linked to homophobic and traditional cultural practices. Some of the gay men experiencing abuse in their relationships appeared to resist normative gender power relations, in that the majority of participants found agency to end their relationships in different ways — suggesting that power relations can be interrogated.