Speaking from the Heart—Pastoral Care for Those Suffering from Infertility

Abstract

Taking the heart into account while providing pastoral care to couples suffering from infertility is essential. The affective sphere is not irrational but has its own logic that needs to be addressed. Trying to bypass the wounds involved in something as painful as infertility by speaking merely to the mind can turn out to be counter-productive, especially when it comes to explaining the Church's teachings on artificial reproductive technologies. One first needs to connect on the level of the heart in an authentic way to bring some relief and initiate the healing-process before addressing the unethical nature of in vitro fertilization, for example. In this article, I therefore, explore what it means to speak the language of the heart and, briefly, what characterizes the affective sphere. It is key to meet people where they are rather than try to leverage them to where one thinks they ought to be. Compassion, that is, suffering with the other, is essential to ease their pain. Paradoxically, people need to mourn in order to get to a better place, but often do not know how to do it. Hence, I give some pointers as how to assist people to grieve before giving some advice on how to counsel specifically those suffering from infertility.