The Healing Journey

Abstract

This article describes a process of psychological transformation of a former Soviet defector. After years of alienation and angry denunciation of the Soviet system, he renews his contact with his family, still living in Siberia. This creates a state of tension and "dis-ease" which he at first attempts to relieve through conventional therapeutic means and then through a renewed sense of political mission. This, however, proves to be insufficient, and he is finally forced to confront his deepest fears through the use of a technique known as "rebirthing." The author describes the effect of this process on his understanding of himself and the deep psychological reasons for his leaving the country of his birth. He describes his experiences in America and in a therapeutic community in Australia, where he undertook a teacher training course, employing a variety of different approaches, such as Jungian analysis, dreamwork, encounter, breathwork, Gurdjieff's ideas, and Gestalt psychology. He describes the gradual change in his consciousness and the increasing penetration into the transpersonal realm. He found that he "could no longer see his escape in purely political terms. Womb, mother, Russia, close relationships, even life itself, were all analogous." The ultimate confrontation with oneself involved a "return to Alcatraz"-facing the destructive energy of the mother, the implications of a psychological death, and the transformation of this energy into a healing force in the process of a "rebirth." The importance of the emergence of an "inner female" ("anima") in his dreams is emphasized, as is the growing rapport with his subconscious mind. The consequences of these insights on his perception of his future actions in the world are discussed. "Only fully conscious individuals can create a truly free society and a free world." He also expresses his hope that people who have survived dramatic escapes from extreme danger may be given the opportunity to come to terms with their experiences early enough to enable them to live creative and happy lives without wasting years fighting "windmills."

You cannot love your country unless you love womenyour mother, your sister, your lover, your wife. Your road to the heart of any country is through its women, whom you can only love through the love of the women who have, in the first place, created your own heart. The journey to the essence of anything is through the transformation of your heart's hate into love. The way is an unflinching honesty and sincerity with yourself and others.