A Changing Consciousness Over the Life Journey

Abstract

A fresh tracing of phases of experience from birth to approaching death is the terrain of this article. It is a momentous journey variably overlooked in everyday living with all the preoccupations of the immediate “now” of this journey. A new-born baby is conscious, and at age 5 or 6, enormous strides have already been taken in evolving consciousness. Experience in the period of primary schooling is a major further saga. Relationships are increasingly important and many children invent “imaginary companions” they are attentive to. Later, inner conversations become common. Dramatic emergence of the new consciousness of adolescence is almost like another life. By the 20s, long-term commitments, dreams, and preparation toward paths in life are prominent. Great qualitative unfolding of experience follows on through adult middle years. Late adulthood includes gradual transition to more reflective retirement and growing awareness that personal life will end. The gauntlet of a major health setback and/or loss of a life partner may have to be endured, though an easier or less conflictual flow in the absence of most “have-tos” tends to follow. Consciousness can become more mellow and even the approaching end of personal life taken for granted.

My inquiry here is not about consciousness as a phenomenon, how it comes to be and work in the brain. Others have sought to come to grips with this (Carter, 2002; Doidge, 2007). Whether the reality we perceive “actually” exists in the dimensions and contours and order evident to us or whether its form and properties is a creative product of our own nature is an intriguing issue for a different exploration than the one that follows. My choice here is to freshly encapsulate the ways that conscious experience evolves and shifts over the course of life. This descriptive account is my own rendering, from long personal observation as well as my career background of writing and study (examples in reference list).

Emergence of Consciousness

A human life begins as a fertilized single cell, preprogrammed in quite extraordinary detail, which multiplies quickly as it courses through the mother’s fallopian tube and into her womb, surrounded there by a new-forming nourishing placenta. Beginning brain development in this early “zygote” phase does not credibly involve any conscious awareness. In the next “embryo” stage, the overall human body structure becomes clearly apparent. Great numbers of sensory nerves are formed and still evolving. Sensation is occurring but not yet organized and integrated to the point of evident holistic awareness. During the final “foetus” stage, beginning about halfway through the normal course of pregnancy, experiencing on some level is occurring—judging, for example, from the interactive behavior of twins studied in utero (see Weaver, 2011).

At full-term birth, with eyes open and other senses in action, normal babies are functioning in a way that an early “pre-self” form of conscious awareness is evident. Babies arrive with a readiness to smile and rapidly learn some distinction between faces (Pfeiffer, 1972, Ch. 18) Development is occurring at great speed in the early months and I have a striking photograph of one of my daughters, at 3 months, in direct eye contact with my wife. She was interested and had, it seems, begun to see that she was not literally one with her mother. By 6 months, there was a lively interaction between baby and parent and with her twin sister. Although the babies were making plenty of sounds and at times evidently in play experimentation with those sounds, there was no recognizable language to distinguish “me” and “you,” and it is difficult to know how much a self/other distinction between the two was being made. Indeed, one of our twins used “we” in reporting on her experience when nearly two, noted at the time by my wife. Our non-twin older sons were using their own names to refer to their experience at an earlier verbal stage.

The response of a pre-memory toddler is quite vivid to an observer given their typically exuberant activity and vocalization. Although events are not at first remembered (or not for long) by the child, the receptive parent and others may keep many behaviors and happenings in their own memory store. Clearly, learning is going on and experience is having longer-term impact regardless of specific memory. Usually, by or before age 3, some events are remembered long term. Happenings different from everyday continuities appear most likely to be retained in memory. I think that most observers would agree that toddlers tend to be living life with gusto and evident happiness which may not as smoothly extend through the next phase.

Early Experience Retained (or Not) in Memory

A simple photo includes myself at three standing in a cluster with my mother and other adults and with our recently built farmhouse in the background. I have no memory of that event but do remember several other happenings in the same time frame, including dreams in that place, and I have vivid memories of the house burning down when I was 3½. My baby brother in this memory is in my mother’s and sister’s arms, and my father and older brothers are entering and bringing things out of the burning house for the short time this was possible. Recent research suggests that although the period of earliest memories varies a good deal, people on average have some storage of events back to when they were about 2½. Children before the age of 5 or 6 may well have still-earlier memories that they then lose as their development continues. Carole Peterson at Memorial University of Newfoundland has studied childhood memory for over 20 years, as seen in her published articles on this work (Peterson, 2020 is illustration; see also Taylor et al, 2004). The term invented for inferred early memory loss is “childhood amnesia.” Children 2 years old and younger are such vividly experiencing and typically expressive little people by this time, in vocal expression as well as advancing movement, that clearly learning is happening, not reliant on overt memory.

Understanding and Feeling-In-Relationship During “Pre-School” Phase

Brain-processing is fast in early childhood and a huge gamut of experience, development of awareness and of memory is occurring over the period from late toddlerhood to being a typically energetic 5- and 6-year-old. Compared with the toddler, the child is a “wise old person” by that stage, naturally curious and inventive in their further exploration. Formal schooling, unfortunately, does not always nourish this natural inventiveness. One of the big changes, by and in early primary school in my observation, is from a concrete visualizing approach to the world and on to a more symbolic consciousness and emerging capacity for generalization and abstraction. Assuming responsive sensitivity of parents and other caregivers, capacity to feel for and with the other (empathy) is apparent. The child is visibly growing a sense of self and identity, partly shaped by relationships and adaptive to them (Barrett-lennard, 2013, pp. 16-18 and 29-31). He or she does not need hurrying along.

If there are siblings or daily contact with other children, the child person is strongly engaged in relationships, from which discovery and learning are taking place. This, of course, is also happening with parents and others, often including kindergarten teachers and minders. I expect most readers would have some memories of themselves in this phase of life. Life is full of beginnings, less often of endings. One typical discovery is that there are people of different sex to themselves. It will be apparent that other people, especially parents, live in different worlds. Older people mostly reign, in their experienced relationships with small children, although all the time most children are learning that they too have power to gain attention and influence the other’s response. If there is a younger child or children, the older one is a big brother or sister with a different kind of bond than in other relationships. Responsive animals, especially pets, with their own dispositions, rights and uncritical response, may be of great importance to the child. Play experience is mostly spontaneous and prominent, and a vital context of attitude formation and relationship development as well as body learning. Some occasions such as own birthdays are times of special celebration where the emphasis is on others pleasing the child person besides expecting appreciation from him or her.

The Before-Adolescence Unfolding, Relating Self

From age 6 to 11 or 12, it is clear that huge further development of consciousness as well as in the young person’s behavioral repertoire is occurring. There is an expansion of relationships and engagement with others, interest in shaking off a young child persona and looking to join the company of those ahead with their changing physique and different preoccupations. Already children are much more independent and self-initiating than earlier. They are appraising others as they experience the expectations and behavior of family members, teachers, and others. Personal standards regarding a desirable way to evolve from peer climate as well as from family and community attitudes. There is beginning ability to describe oneself as a person, if called on, and children have begun to learn ways of managing conflict. There also is increased capacity to feel misunderstood and hurt. Many children invent an imaginary companion they converse with, make a place for, and who for a time is very real to them. Plausibly, it is the child’s way of coping with companionship needs and/or other unfulfilled real-life experiences (Majors & Baines, 2017; Taylor et al., 2004).

Children in this phase often acquire heroes, and “hate” relationships can occur. Having one or more figures to look up to, even to idolize, can have great importance for the young person’s self development. Wanting to accomplish things helps to distinguish this phase from earlier ones. The child is becoming a person to reason and reckon with. The big and rapid social change over the last couple of generations has changed the world of children and adults. Parents appear to be more protective, and there is more visible negotiation that includes a promise of rewards. Use of physical punishment has declined in recent decades but parents may lash out under stress and harsh physical treatment still hangs over a good many children. Children in this phase cannot defend themselves as later. Sexual molestation by adults is more often feared than earlier and (actual danger or not in any given case) this possibility may be more in the consciousness of children as well as for their parents and caregivers. Major developmental transition is just round the corner.

Pre-Adult Change and Discovery

The bodily changes of puberty help to determine the distinctive phase of life commonly called “adolescence.” Just how distinctive this is and how long it lasts is partly a matter of circumstance and culture. It may begin at age 12 or 13 and appear to have run its course by age 18—partly because often the person is then eligible for adult activities such as entering military service or general election voting. It includes the period that most young people are in high school, leading up to graduation and potential eligibility for tertiary education. Many already have had part-time work experience and some are beginning regular employment. Very strong sexual urges nearly always arise in this phase, quite often not discussed with a parent, or an awkward topic even with peers if attracted to others of the same sex. In present Western cultures, interactive sexual exploration often or usually begins in adolescence. Many are drawn to identify with a like-minded group with or without this being linked to their sex.

Body consciousness is pronounced and self-improvement of strength and other physical qualities often occurs. Altogether, this pre-adult phase is one of major transitions and developments of conscious exploration and approach to life. The self is in transformation, and relationships are more often now a matter of individual choice. The inner life and intellectual and other resources of adolescents naturally vary greatly and some have a much more bumpy ride than others. Music or other art expressions, or a particular sport, can be of great importance, falling within the broad mix of exploration and choice in this developmental passage. For persons still deciding who they are, or just how they want to be, life can be bewildering yet interesting in this world of possibilities. Many are thinking in a nonassumptive way about religious beliefs or value principles and searching for a stance more their own than inherited. As formal schooling ends and, willy-nilly, the person is beyond the recognized adolescent phase, there are many new or freer choices and finding the way is a more independent and consequential matter (See also Berger, 2020).

Advancing Consciousness While Finding a Place in the World

More independent living is an issue and goals and often values call for clarification as people approach or enter their 20s. Most establish or further crystallize vocation-related and educational priorities. Direct continuation of family attitudes or beliefs tends not to be taken for granted as the person works at developing a vision of his or her own direction. Most “fall in love” and serious long (or longer) term romantic relationships develop. Entry to relationships with employers, lecturers, good mates, and others involves the self in different ways than romantic relationships, and greater plurality of being develops. Nearly everyone finds themselves competing for success or advantage in some areas of life that matter to them (More detail in Barrett-Lennard, 2013. pp. 99-102).

“Causes” can become important to the person and there is a new developmental complexity to the self. In a sense, the person is on more than one path—which continues to unfold through their 20s and 30s. The questions “who am I” and “what am I about” may not be directly asked or perceived but at least seem to hover implicitly in personal rumination and relationships, and usually there is a major valued project or call of whatever kind. For a woman, it may be having children and developing a home “nest” or it may be establishing her identity and success vocationally. Men most often place more emphasis on the latter. Many young adults have an ambition or dream to achieve something exceptional. It might be to become an outstanding athlete, a successful author, make lots of money—perhaps to sail around the world, even solo. Mary Shelley (2018) was only 20, privately and largely self-educated in language and confidence, when she conceived and wrote the famous novel of Frankenstein, about a shunned and lonely man constructed and brought to life from sound components of nonliving bodies. Taken literally or as metaphor, the story searches into a sense of self and relationships. Readers marveled at the young author’s imagination and insights.

Completion of a project may bring significant changes in what especially occupies the person and contributes to immediate life meaning. Interruptions to the present flow of life, including experienced crises of one or another kind, appear not unusual in this major zone of life. What turning points occur, and how crises are weathered or resolved, can be of great consequence. Although a major work-career rupture or relationship breakdown, for example, may at the time dominate everything else, most often there are significant continuities in the person’s life that help to prevent him or her from “drowning” in a serious setback. At best, a “crisis” is not just extremely disturbing but becomes a challenge and opportunity for growth to fuller, perhaps wiser consciousness.

Midlife Consciousness

People at this stage typically are in their 40s. Far from being novice adults, they tend to have well-rooted bearings and, commonly, a child or children with their partner. The domestic-family scene is a major theater of life, especially for most women, but is not the only one. Most people are “men or women of the world,” work/career issues loom large in their lives and in the world of which they are part, as do state or national circumstances and politics. Engagement in activity in keeping with goals is a fortunate and frequent priority. For those in the professions or in business, the context and path of their careers typically have continuity and great inner importance.

As in the previous and other phases, crises are not uncommon; there are damaging setbacks but, again, potentially seeding some deeper awareness. More concern for healthy living may develop at the same time that midlife people see their parents changing. This can also prompt more awareness of their own mortality. The children of this group are likely to reach adolescence during this phase and become a greater challenge, at least for a time. Living is serious and consuming: The person is or wants to be advancing in multiple ways. He or she is likely to have a describable life structure. “Seniority” in vocational and other contexts can be very important even if the person is not confidently quite there yet.

Consciousness as “Seniors” or “Late Middle-Age” Persons

People now have a considerable life history, usually with children, and with parents who are aging and becoming dependent. They quite often have health problems themselves, such as blood pressure, lower back or prostate issues, even breast or other cancers that are serious but can be recovered from. Their flow of thought, still nimble, has developed qualitatively. They can hold more than one idea, perhaps several, in mind at the same time. It can be said that they have become more philosophical, more interested in the larger meaning of events. Their “present” is not instant but current, “at this time,” not just a narrow snapshot of the moment. They have by this time had long experience hearing others, listening, and grasping their meaning. They have reflected a lot and are likely to look at broader issues more than formerly.

During this time, a person can become very conscious of having less time ahead than behind, but also hold focus for longer on whatever is exercising them. She or he will have seen considerable social, technological, and other change; is aware of literal catastrophes; and may think a good deal about long-range issues such as climate change and the movement and mixing of what had been different peoples and distinct cultures. Large-scale conflicts and suffering at a distance and possibly near at hand trouble them. Of course, there is variety and idiosyncrasy as well as a broad consistency in the way people’s experiential life course unfolds. Major trauma in childhood or later that results in awareness blockages affects life patterns that follow. A feature common to a majority is that of looking forward to and welcoming the increased freedoms of “retirement.”

Distinct Awareness of Life as Finite, With Descendants Following

This phase is seen as a bridge of quite variable dimension between late middle age and the advanced aging phase that follows. People at this stage tend to be quite reflective about their journeys. They may wish to stay fit but do not have the physical self and strength of former expectations. Grandchildren they have or acquire are a turning point, both directly engaging and a precious arrow into the future. Retirement from working life brings more room for other pursuits. The increased freedom of choice is a challenge as well as a promise of activity based largely on interest and meaning. If there is continuation of a long partnership of sharing in life, this is their primary intimacy, and the partners may have more in common and with less distinction in roles than earlier. Some will retain worldly ambitions that are still a primary interest, but for the most part people have let go of some of their earlier responsibilities and are less concerned than earlier with a very visible path of work, social or other broad contribution.

In present Western cultures with strong public health systems, people typically reach their 80s in this phase. Often still energetic and distinctly engaged, they nevertheless are quite aware that life does not go on indefinitely and many will have lost or lose relatives and/or friends they have known well. Personal stock-taking can occur at any time in advancing adult life but seems almost sure to be an issue in this phase. Reviewing one’s life course and agenda can reveal unfulfilled features. If a person has not traveled much or feels a certain narrowness of experience of other kinds, now is the time to spread their wings. The person, no longer employed, may have superannuation or other savings and pensions and can afford to do things out of desire for the experience. Where this can happen with a partner or close friend, the sharing may greatly enhance the meaning of this enlarging experience. By their late 80s, people become conscious that they are “wearing out” in some ways and not any longer fully self-dependent. They may arrange for supportive care in their homes or be making the choice to go into an aged care residence.

A Softer or Waning Consciousness With Life Ending a Reality

When older people find that they are no longer efficiently managing some of the practicalities of their daily lives and/or need more help in areas to do with finance, their health care or housekeeping activity, this is a crucial change in consciousness as well as circumstance. Loss of a long-time or life partner is a likely and grievous blow, and a challenging axis of this change. A distinct if small proportion of people will struggle with remembering daily tasks or retaining a desired quality of initiative and communication even with close others. They and many who are less handicapped will be getting more help at home or in an aged care facility—as will persons in very noticeable decline. These changes are likely to have been of concern also to younger family members who are helping directly in making the new provisions. Those most fortunate retain a strong interest, continue or develop a project, or advance their social bonds in new ways.

Although the brain is flagging to some extent at this stage, only a minority of people develop the extreme memory loss associated with diagnoses of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease (current PRB fact sheet). Most retain a huge storage of memories and impressions from a long life. They may well have retrieval difficulties so that particular names and other contents elude them in the moment and yet come to mind at another time. Association of one thing with another, such as an image with a name, can be cultivated and prove helpful. Dreams during sleep occur throughout life and can be just as vivid as earlier. The dream settings usually jump across time and the aging person in their dreams might be at almost any age, perhaps near the middle of their journey. The dreams can readily include people no longer alive but just “naturally there” in the dream setting. Memories of previous felt experience and happenings exist somewhere in the background in dreams as in waking life.

In waking life, retaining or developing an absorbing project or focus of activity may be possible for the elderly person who tends to be self-starting and have no severe memory problems. I know this from my own experience, yet (sadly) it seems more the exception than the rule in this generally un-pushed phase of life. Most people seem not to be depressed just because their lives are on the way to ending. If they are despondent, it can be through lack of significant engagement, purpose, or absorbing activity and dialogue with cherished or valued others. Where they still exist, small close communities can be relationally richer places for late aging than more organized and health-supporting care systems with predominant daily association with contemporaries. Illustrations of young children of 4 or 5 years old visiting residents in aged care centers, typically bring the old person into vivid connection with the children. This and other impressions support the view that immediate human presence can be fuller with others much younger, or of varied age, than with contemporaries only.

Afterword

This outline, in passages that evoke recognition, might be a jumping off point for the reader in refining and adding meanings around parts of their own journey or in the life of someone close to them. It has been an engaging and useful exercise for me as author to clarify and further my birds-eye view of life experience episodes and qualities. Likely “stock-taking” in various forms in the middle and late stages of living has been mentioned. A good many of us, and I for one (Barrett-Lennard, 2021) are drawn at some mature stage in life, to draw together in sequence and focus, the trajectory and documented story of our inner, exterior and relationship lives, extending to some significant events in the wider worlds we have inhabited. Where a person does this, seeing the many steps articulating and hanging together in a tapestry of unfolding experience and awareness gives a fuller sense of who one is as a whole being—a connected self with a singular episodic trajectory. It shines light on the continually emerging “me,” and on significantly linked others, across time and circumstance. The story is also likely to be of valued personal interest to family-related others who follow, and perhaps to more remote reflective people glad to “connect” with others through their fellow-human life stories. This article is a view of the broader biography common to most of us fortunate to live long.