Expressions of Queer Intimacy: BDSM and Kink as Means of Self-Actualization

Abstract

Traditional concepts of sexuality and intimacy contain normative assumptions that limit the fluidity and creativity with which individuals’ relational, gender, and affectional identities can be expressed. This theoretical article applies the seven axioms of Hammack et al.’s paradigm of queer intimacy to a case study of a client who identifies as queer, kinky, poly, transmasculine, and neurodivergent. The resulting conceptualization illustrates ways in which kink and bondage/domination and sadomasochism can contribute to identity development, congruence, and self-actualization. Implications for counseling are provided along with humanistic themes found within the case study. Humanistic counselors can connect more authentically with queer, kinky, polyamorous clients by acknowledging the diversities of clients’ identities and behaviors and increasing counselor competencies related to queer, kink, and poly cultures and practices.

Keywords

BDSM kink queer LGBT sexuality polyamorous humanistic identity congruence power authenticity self-actualization

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