Numerous studies have shown that women's patterns of substance use are strongly impacted by social relationships. Using a hermeneutic phenomenological method, this study examined the interplay between intimate partner relationships and substance abuse recovery through in-depth interviews with 17 women in a treatment program. Six essential themes about the dilemmas posed by recovery and relationships emerged from analysis: (a) experiencing themselves as damaged goods; (b) paying the price for both recovery and relationship choices made; (c) trading parts of self for relationships and drugs; (d) waking from the nightmare and realizing the impact of abuse; (e) hoping, but not always quite believing, in the possibility of recovery; (f) asking themselves “who's in charge of my life?” This study expands on previous findings by examining critical similarities in the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and recovery for women and the meanings they assign to each.
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