On Gratitude and Gratification

Abstract

Expressions of gratitude from the patient may be regarded by the analyst as a much-needed validation or affirmation of competence. The analyst's need for gratitude may be a relatively silent presence when things are going smoothly or when the analyst's efforts are openly appreciated by the patient. Ungrateful patients, however, are likely to force the analyst to confront his or her unconscious background wish to enact a longed-for mode of relatedness as part of the daily work of psychoanalysis. The analyst's wish for a specific form of object relationship involving a selfless, devoted helper and an appreciative patient who acknowledges having been helped may be thwarted by certain patients at every turn, knowing they are depriving the analyst of a particular form of gratification in their work. For patients of this type, failure may mean success. The implications of this particular form of clinical stalemate are outlined, and a clinical example illustrates some of the challenges encountered in psychoanalytic work with ungrateful patients.