Sexual Identity in Marriage and Family Life

This is especially true if one emphasizes feminine roles, even if - as I wish - to admire them.

cf. Veritatis Splendor, nos. 35ss

Always bearing in mind that “God transcends the human distinction between the sexes. He is neither man nor woman. He is God”; The Catechism of the Catholic Church, no.239.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 369.

General Audience, Nov. 21, 1979.

Our Lord's words, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20: 35), mark a law for human development and happiness. It is more important to give than to take. Growth in humanity -humanization of individuals or of society - depends on one's capacity for giving and on the actual giving each one makes. Sexual situations should be filled with demands on our capacity for giving. The problem with sexuality in its present condition is that it is a force more inclined to take and less inclined to give. Sexual education or formation must tend towards motivating people to respond nobly to the challenges of giving which are present in the various sexually-differentiated situations that characterize life, and to resist the urges of selfishness that they can also provoke; and to understand when and how - to what degree and in what way - one can take from what sex has to offer, and so be fulfilled by it.

“It is commonly thought that women are more capable than men paying attention to another person”: John Paul II: Mulleris Dignitatem, no. 18.

cfr. Covenanted Happiness: Love and Commitment in Marriage, Ignatius Press, 1990, pp. 30–52.

cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 239. In passing, one could here note the special weakness of the one-parent family where children miss the experience of learning to relate to father and to mother; and of perceiving the difference.

A reference might be made here to the interplay of logic and intuition. Men are said to be more logical (although I know many men who would seem to disprove the assertion), and women generally have greater gifts of intuition. Neither logic nor intuition should be confused with intelligence, although each can lead to an understanding of persons or situations. While it is easier to be logical than to be properly intuitive, we should all try to be both and to combine the resources of both. In many optimal family situations, one sees an effective interplay between the two. It is necessary to be logical, but it is even more important to have a grasp of the human factors involved. Family situations in particular are seldom well solved by mere logic; intuition often fills in the gaps, so as thus to arrive at a deeper intelligence.

Motherhood “involves a special ‘gift of self’ on the woman's part”, and so a mother has special “joy and awareness that she is sharing in the great mystery of eternal generation”: Mulleris Dignitatem, no. 18.

no. 37.

cf. Sicari A. : “The family: A place of fraternity” Communio 20 (1993), p. 303.

Only a philosophy of self-sufficiency - which is destructive of inter-personal relations, of affection, of family, of society - denies inter-dependence, in the various modes and expressions it can take.