In late modernity there has been a shift in the ways that individuals relate to society, in which traditional ideas, expectations, and hierarchies are being reworked. Released from the constraints and social norms of tradition, individuals, it is argued, are now freer to choose between a range of options in the pursuit of their own happiness. Notably, these social changes have been understood to provide more opportunities for lesbians and gay men to ‘come out’—disclose their sexuality and live the lifestyle of their choice. Coming out is often implicitly discussed in academic literatures as an individual decision, and the consequences of coming out are also usually explored in relation to the personal narratives of the individual who has disclosed a lesbian and gay sexuality. To date, little attention has been paid to the actual processes through which sexual dissidents negotiate their identities with others, and to the consequences of such disclosures for those who are close to them or share their lives in various ways. In this paper we address this omission by focusing on young people's experiences of coming out with, and in, families of origin. We begin by examining what is at stake in the decision whether to come out or not by examining the role that families of origin play in young people's lives. We then explore how the process of coming out is actually negotiated within different families. Finally, we consider the ‘outcomes’ of these choices. In doing so we contribute to research on geographies of sexualities, geographies of the ‘family’, youth transitions, and the emerging field of social studies of emotions.
Get full access to this article
View all access options for this article.
References
1.
AitkenS, 1998Family Fantasies and Community Space (Rutgers University Press, New Brunswick, NJ)
2.
AllattPYeandleS, 1992, “‘It's not fair is it?’ Youth unemployment, family relations and social contract”, in The Experience of Unemployment Ed. AllenS (Macmillan, London) pp 62–75
3.
ArnettJ J, 1997, “Young people's conceptions of the transition to adulthood”Youth and Society293–23
4.
AtkinsonP, 1985Language, Structure and Reproduction: An Introduction to the Sociology of Basil Bernstein (Methuen, London)
Beck-GernsheimE, 1988Die Kinderfrage: Frauen zwischen Kinderwunsch und Unabhängigkeit [The child question: Women between the desire for children and independence] (Sührkamp, Munich)
10.
BernardesJ, 1987, “‘Doing things with words’: Sociology and ‘family policy’ debates”Sociological Review36267–272
11.
BinnieJ, 1995, “Trading places: Consumption, sexuality and the production of queer space”, in Mapping Desire Eds BellDValentineG (Routledge, London) pp 182–199
12.
BowlbySEvansLloyd SMohammadR, 1998, “Becoming a paid worker: Images and identity”, in Cool Places: Geographies of Youth Cultures Eds SkeltonTValentineG (Routledge, London) pp 229–242
13.
BynnerJChisholmLFurlongA, 1997Youth, Citizenship and Social Change in a European Context (Ashgate, Aldershot, Hants)
14.
ChandlerJ, 1991Women Without Husbands: An Exploration of the Margins of Marriage (Macmillan, Basingstoke, Hants)
15.
CharlesNKerrM, 1988Women, Food and Families (Manchester University Press, Manchester)
16.
ColesB, 1995Youth and Social Policy (UCL Press, London)
17.
CollinsM E, 2001, “Transition to adulthood for vulnerable youths: A review of research and implications for policy”Social Service Review June, 271–291
18.
D'AugelliAHershbergerSPilkingtonN, 1998, “Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth and their families: Disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences”American Journal of Orthopsychiatry68361–371
19.
DavidsonJ, 2001, “Pregnant pauses: Agoraphobic embodiment and the limits of (im)pregnability”Gender, Place and Culture8283–299
20.
DyckI, 1990, “Space, time, and renegotiating motherhood: An exploration of the domestic workplace”Environment and Planning D: Society and Space8459–483
21.
ElizurYZivM, 2001, “Family support and acceptance, gay male identity formation and psychological adjustment: A path model”Family Process40 (2) 125–144
22.
ElwoodS, 2000, “Lesbian living spaces: Multiple meanings of home”Journal of Lesbian Studies411–28
23.
EnglandK (Ed.), 1996Who Will Mind the Baby? (Routledge, London)
24.
FinchJMasonJ, 1993Negotiating Family Responsibilities (Routledge, London)
25.
FurlongACartmelF, 1997Young People and Social Change: Individualisation and Risk in Late Modernity (Open University Press, Buckingham)
26.
GiddensA, 1991Modernity and Self-identity: Self and Society in the Late Modern Age (Polity Press, Cambridge)
27.
GoldscheiderF K, 1997, “Recent changes in US young adult living arrangements in comparative perspective”Journal of Family Issues18708–724
28.
GouldnerA W, 1973For Sociology: Renewal and Critique in Sociology Today (Allen Lane, London)
29.
HansonSPrattG, 1988, “Reconceptualising the links between home and work in urban geography”Economic Geography43299–321
30.
HansonSPrattG, 1995Gender, Work and Space (Routledge, London)
31.
HershbergerS LD'AugelliA R, 1995, “The impact of victimisation on the mental health and suicidality of lesbians, gay and bisexual youth”Developmental Psychology3165–74
32.
HollowayS L, 1998, “Local childcare cultures: Moral geographies of mothering and the social organisation of pre-school education”Gender, Place and Culture529–53
33.
HollowayS LValentineGBinghamN, 2000, “Institutionalising technologies: Masculinities, femininities, and the heterosexual economy of the IT classroom”Environment and Planning A32617–633
34.
HunterJ, 1990, “Violence against lesbian and gay male youths”Journal of Interpersonal Violence5295–300
35.
JamesAJenksCProutA (Eds), 1998Theorizing Childhood (Teachers College Press, New York)
36.
JohnstonLValentineG, 1995, “Wherever I lay my girlfriend that's my home: The performance and surveillance of lesbian identities in domestic space”, in Mapping Desire Eds BellDValentineG (Routledge, London) pp 99–113
37.
JonesG, 1987, “Leaving the parental home: An analysis of early housing careers”Journal of Social Policy1649–74
38.
JonesG, 1995Leaving Home (Open University Press, Buckingham)
39.
JonesG, 2000, “Experimenting with households and inventing ‘home’”International Social Science Journal52 (2) 183–194
40.
JonesGWallaceC, 1992Youth, Family and Citizenship (Open Univeristy Press, Buckingham)
41.
KnoppL, 1998, “Sexuality and urban gay space: Gay male identity politics in the United States, United Kingdom and Australia”, in Cities of Difference Eds FincherRJacobsJ (Guilford Press, New York) pp 149–176
42.
LoweGFoxcroftD RSibleyD (Eds), 1993Adolescent Drinking and Family Life (Harwood Academic, Chur)
43.
LuptonD, 1998The Emotional Self (Sage, London)
44.
Massachusetts Department of Education, 1995Massachusetts High School Students and Sexual Orientation: Results of the 1995 Youth-risk Behaviour SurveyMassachusetts Department of Education, 350 Main Street, Maiden, MA 02148–5023
45.
MorganD H J, 1996Family Connections (Polity Press, Cambridge)
46.
MorganD H J, 1999, “Risk and family practices: Accounting for change and the fluidity in family life”, in The New Family Eds SilvaE BSmartC (Sage, London) pp 13–30
47.
MorrowVRichardsM, 1996Transitions to Adulthood: A Family Matter? (Joseph Rowntree Foundation, York)
48.
PopenoeD, 1988Disturbing the Nest: Family Change and Decline in Modern Societies (de Gruyter, New York)
49.
SaundersP, 1989, “The meaning of home in contemporary English culture”Housing Studies4177–92
50.
Savin-WilliamsR C, 1989, “Coming out to parents and self-esteem among gay and lesbian youths”Journal of Homosexuality181–35
51.
Savin-WilliamsR C, 1990Gay and Lesbian Youth: Expressions of Identity (Hemisphere, New York)
52.
SibleyD, 1988, “Survey 13: Purification of space”Environment and Planning D: Society and Space6409–421
53.
SibleyD, 1995a, “Families and domestic routines: Constructing the boundaries of childhood”, in Mapping the Subject: Cultural Geographies of Transformation Eds PileSThriftN (Routledge, London) pp 123–142
54.
SibleyD, 1995bGeographies of Exclusion and Difference in the West (Routledge, London)
55.
SilvaE BSmartC, 1999, “The ‘new’ practices and politics of family life”, in The New Family Eds SilvaE BSmartC (Sage, London) pp 1–12
56.
SmartC, 1999, “The ‘new’ parenthood: Fathers and mothers after divorce”, in The New Family Eds SilvaE BSmartC (Sage, London) pp 100–114
57.
SmithL T J, 1989, “Domestic violence: An overview”, Home Office Planning and Research Unit (HMSO, London)
58.
SommervilleP, 1992, “Homelessness and the meaning of home: Rooflessness or rootlessness”International Journal of Urban and Regional Research16529–539
59.
StaceyJ, 1990Brave New Families: Stories of Domestic Upheaval in Late Twentieth Century America (Basic Books, New York)
60.
ThomsonRBellRHollandJHendersonSMcGrellisSSharpeS, 2002, “Critical moments: Choices, chance and opportunity in young people's narratives of transition”Sociology36335–354
61.
ValentineG, 1993a, “(Hetero)sexing space: Lesbian perceptions and experiences of everyday spaces”Environment and Planning D: Society and Space11395–413
62.
ValentineG, 1993b, “Negotiating and managing multiple sexual identities: Lesbian time-space strategies”Transactions of the Institute of British Geographers, New Series18237–248
63.
ValentineG, 1996, “An equal place to work? Anti-lesbian discrimination and sexual citizenship in the European Union”, in Women of The European Union: The Politics of Work and Daily Life Eds Garcia-RamonM DMonkJ (Routledge, London) pp 111–125
64.
ValentineG, 1997, “‘My son's a bit dizzy’. ‘My wife's a bit soft’. Gender, children and cultures of parenting”Gender, Place and Culture437–62
65.
ValentineG, 2000, “Exploring young people's narratives of identity”Geoforum31257–267
66.
ValentineGSkeltonT, 2003, “Living on the edge: The marginalisation and resistance of D/deaf youth”Environment and Planning A35301–321
67.
WalkerdineVLuceyH, 1989Democracy in the Kitchen: Regulating Mothers and Socialising Daughters (Virago, London)
68.
WeeksJDonovanCHeaphyB, 1999, “Everyday experiments: Narratives of non-heterosexual relationships”, in The New Family Eds SilvaE BSmartC (Sage, London) pp 83–99
69.
WeeksJDonovanCHeaphyB (Eds), 2000Same Sex Intimacies: Families of Choice and Other Life Experiements (Routledge, London)
70.
WoodDBeckR J, 1994Home Rules (Johns Hopkins University Press, Baltimore, MD)
